9 I owe you (Leon's POV)

After a heart to heart talk, we sat down for a brief moment. None of us had anything left to say to the other, but we probably never looked as harmonious as this before. I could tell from the surprised looks the servants were throwing our way.

I chuckled, thinking how incredulous this situation was. A day before, I felt that she would never understand, today I thought she would throw a tantrum in front of Mother and Father, and just five minutes ago I thought she would slap me for sure, but Dahlia had grown and become a different person these days. I wonder if the shock and betrayal she received from me was also a reason for her to toughen up. Or was she always like that?

How come I never noticed? Or was it just as she had said, that girls were different towards the one they liked? If so, I would like to ask how she could sever our ties that easily, because God knows I tried hard, but I could never turn my back on Ellie. If I could, I wouldn't be here, and we wouldn't be in this mess.

I would favour getting slapped by Dahlia and be called a cheater for the whole world to hear than watch Ellie cry. That girl, I bet she was alone right now. The Academy's midterms were over, everyone was on vacation, and she was probably the only one left inside the dorms since she had nowhere to go back. I wanted to be by her side to ease her loneliness. I would've run to her already if I hadn't seen the Duke's carriage on my way. To not let destiny slip out of my hands, I hastened to the throne room. Who knew Dahlia would support breaking off the engagement? I was troubled for no reasons.

I know it was unfair towards Dahlia. I know I wasn't a reasonable son in the eyes of Father and Mother. And I know, of course, that as a Prince I can't be this wilful and that I am obliged to our nation but if after all the sacrifices have been made, if I could only have one wish fulfilled in this life of mine, no matter what the costs, I hope it would be Ellie.

I had not thought about it, but when Dahlia asked, it became clear to me. I don't need anything besides Ellie. When I am with her, it felt right, like we were made for each other. From the moment we met, every time I see her, it felt like my heartstrings were pulled forcefully towards her, and whenever we separate, my heart would be torn apart. I don't need her to give me anything; just the way she looked at me was enough. And if I could protect her from any harm so that she will be able to smile unrestrained, my life would find purpose.

These thoughts were very novel to me, as I've never undergone such a strong desire to protect and love someone like that. I didn't even have this sense of protection towards this nation as its next king.

I don't know where those feelings come from or where they will carry me, but one thing was clear to me: Ellie's fate and mine were inseparable. One day I might have to pay the price for my selfish desire, but until then, I will take hold of every moment with her in blind bliss.

The more I thought, the more I am certain that nothing is below me when it comes to Ellie. It follows that I could never reciprocate Dahlia's feelings or give my parents what they wanted.

I can't let others decide my fate - I will have to grant this wish myself.

"I have to go." I sighed.

Not only did I found a new determination during our talk but also the certainty that Dahlia would be alright even without me. She wasn't just anybody. She was a daughter of House Rubin, a strong-willed woman who can get by wonderfully on her own.

She nodded absentmindedly and bid me farewell without a second thought, and I imagined that she agreed with me in this matter, although I doubted that she could read my mind. Persuading my self to believe that it was okay to leave her here to go see another girl.

But when I was on the last step of the pavilion, feeling the sunbeams hitting my body, Dahlia woke up from her trance. She stood up and followed me halfway.

"Leon!"

I turned around questioningly. When our eyes met, it felt like she was quivering under my gaze, as if she instinctively knew that I've decided to put down my scruples. But even then she tried to put on a strong facade:

"I will not make life hard for you," as casually as she could, "so you, too, don't..."

Before she could end that sentence, she seemed to remember something and stopped in her tracks. Instead, she bit her lower lip and looked at me with complicated eyes. Was there something she couldn't tell me?

Whatever it was, I felt a sudden surge of warmth covering me, as if the sun has finally reached the depth of me. Maybe Dahlia hasn't severed our ties yet wholly.

"You don't have to worry."

I think I can guess what she wanted to say, so I reminded her in goodwill:

"I still owe you."

So I, too, won't make life hard for you.

She was silent but seemed facilitated at my words. The sudden restlessness left her frail looking body and back was the strong-willed girl that I got to know today.

Did she honestly think that I would be heartless enough to harm her? That I would be able to build my happiness on top of others?

I can't love her the way people expected me to, but I can still love her as a friend and protect her as a brother would. I think I wasn't asking for too much if I also wished for this girl in front of me to become happy? I wonder since when people began to think that happiness would be something you have to earn? Was it that hard to obtain? And could one's happiness solely be built on someone else's happiness?

"Everything is going to be alright," I spoke in earnest, trying to lift both our spirits.

Dahlia seemed to think about my words, but then she nodded in agreement, repeating my words as if to seal a new promise with me.

"Everything is going to be alright." She smiled and added: "Now go, you're going to be late."

Her voice carried a hint of mockery as if she knew where I was headed all this time, but her smile was bright and genuine, avoid jealousy or discontent.

In people's eyes, she had always been beautiful and carefree but never has she been so enthralling to me as in this fleeting moment.

"Heartless woman" I joked, but in reality, we both knew that I was the heartless one.

We separated both laughing.

Strange, after we broke off, I felt that we were closer than before.