Living the slow lane

Chapter 1

Have you ever wondered, "what it would be like if you never had a regret in your life?"

How easy it would be if you could just go back and fix everything you've ever screwed up?

Or knowing what you screwed up and then fixing it right before u made the mistake?.

Those thoughts passed through me every day since I was a kid till I reached senior high.

I made so many mistakes, said things I wished I could take back, hurt people I didn't mean to hurt, Overthought every situation I was in, and still kept making the wrong choices, my dad often yelled at me because I couldn't do anything right, calling me a "fool, stupid, idiot, or telling me to use my common sense for once".

For a while, I thought it was bad luck, or God was angry with me or something.

Heh, on paper I sound like a pretty pathetic guy huh? But making people feel sorry for me would be the last thing I would want.

So I'd always smile even if I was angry, sad, depressed, or felt alone. I mean why not? Everything's better with a smile right? It'll get better if I just keep smiling right?.... Wrong! It doesn't.

I got home that day, then I remembered that I forgot to buy bread on my way, in my house, this is almost as important as rice, "hehe".

Anyways I dashed to the nearest gas station to buy some, I didn't check it at all, to see if it was fresh or not, I just paid and left.

Smart move, huh?

All I cared about was that I did it and now I can fall asleep in peace. I woke up late in the evening,

[yawn] "should be 7:00 I guess"

I heard a loud yelling noise coming from the living room, I rushed to see what it was it was my dad!

"You stupid boy what have you done!"

My dad looked so frustrated when he said this, I was wondering what I could have possibly done this time.

I looked at the bread on the floor and saw mold all over it,

" Damn it I should've checked it,

why am I so dumb? "

My dad gave me the worst earful I'd heard in days, which is kinda like my new record, I usually get one every day but it was like 5 days before this one.

I usually tried to tune him out but this time I listened, it was my fault he ate expired bread.

Heheheh "why the hell am I laughing do I wanna get killed?!"

I did get his frustrations, I mean who wouldn't get angry about eating moldy bread? i got a really heavy slap, my dad wasn't the one who threw it, it was my mom.

"Funny as this may seem to you, you shouldn't be laughing, Your dad tries his best to send you to school to be a better person but u act like you don't know anything, if you aren't careful u can get duped into something that you can't handle, try to be smarter". She says

I was so frustrated that I snickered in the first place, frustrated that I didn't check, and frustrated at myself for always making the worst decisions. I left the living room and went to mine.

I sat there for a few hours saying maybe I'd be better off dead than making them disappointed, I lay there for a while in my depressed state and made a wish:

" I just wish I could have a choice to see my fate and change it ahead of time, No, I wish I had eyes that would let me see my fate or at least control a little bit of time in my life"

who exactly I'm I wishing to? I have no idea, God has to watch over everything not just me right?

I saw a faint glow of light shine before it disappeared. I didn't bother with it, Then I fell asleep.