How Deku became The villain

i was walking on my way to home, should i called it home? everyday, every minute, every seconds it feels like hell. why can't i be like him? why doesn't you look at me? why is he the one always prioritize? why can't you see me? i am here too but why? why do i have to live? why can't i die? i want to escape , i want to die , i want to end my suffering but why can't i just end my life..why?? ~_~_~_~_~_~__~_~_~_~_~_~_~_ *this story is a fanfic about bnha basically what happens in the bnha is just a story created by midoriya , in reality there is still quirks and Villains/Hero but he didn't met allmight, His not the positive deku that will never give up, His not the deku who is being love by his mother and Deku have a brother too and his Dad is alive