Chapter 1 - How I (Fail) to Handle my Guilt

After what happens, I could only stood there as the cub stay unmoving while looking at the dead tiger. I can't do anything other than to simply keep an eye on the cub.

I look at my claw and feels frustrated at myself. I need to be careful of my thoughts or else I would do something regretable...

I feel my stomach rumbles and it catches the cub's attention. The cub stares at me in fear, trembling by my presences before he stops shaking and just lower his head.

"Are you.....going to finish me off?" I try not to look horrified at his words, remembering how I just kill his father and my existance being a dragon is not weird for him to assume such thing.

"No....your father ask to spare you...." I said as the cub looks surprise before looking at his father. "It....was not my intention to kill him."

"...." The cub sadly looks at the corpse with no sound. I feel my stomach rumbles again and I look at the cub, who simply stay immobile. I caught a sound of rumble from the cub.

The tiger.....he was hunting for his cub.....and I kill him. It was an accident, but it doesn't excuse what I did.

I saw a deer and I feel my drools escaping my mouth. I shakes my head and wipes off my mouth, before looking back at the deer. To my absolute bafflement, it simply eats the grass on the ground and suddenly, licking its hooves!? I watch for a while but it doesn't seem the deer is as intelligent as that white tiger, especially with how I didn't attempt ti hide and it didn't react.

Calm down, and try to focus, making sure to not loose control.

Immobilize that deer, earth!

I wince when two chunks of earth suddenly popped out of the ground and squashed the deer into a bloody pulp. The earth then crumbles and as expected, all it left is crushed corpse and shit tons of blood.

I grimaced at the situation, while wondering how can I control my magic strength as guilt starts to pile up inside me. If this is going to be a thing, I won't be able to get food. Then, another deer popped out from the bush. If my raw power is too much, then maybe I can limit the area of the damage.

Immobilize the deer's limbs, earth!

To my surprise and relief, several chunk of earths popped out of the ground and crush the deer's limbs in a similar manner. Thankfully, it only affects the limbs, so most of the flesh remains intacts.

My guilt starts to resurfaced as I watch the deer helplessly wiggle on the ground like a worm. My front paws are shaking as it continues to wiggle helplessly. Come on, Leo, you got to do this....

Then, images of that white tiger's bloody form start to flashes inside my head and I can't stop shaking. I can't do this, I can't do this...

Then, another grumble appears from my stomach and my ears caught another sound of grumbles from the back. I....if I hesitant.....that cub will not able to survive with empty stomach, and I won't survive as well...

I'm sorry, I'm really sorry...

*Snap!*

I grab the deer's neck and squish it, snapping the neck as it stops wiggling. I hate this, I hate my current isekai life....

I numbly bit the neck and walks back to where the cub stood. I saw the cub motionlessly stare at the dead tiger. I place down the deer next to him, catching his attention.

".....why?" The cub asked.

"I can't let you starved...." I replied.

"You killed my father..." And I have no excuse for that. "You could just kill me.....why, why didn't you?"

".....your father-!" I was immediately cuts off by the cub.

"You're a Platinum Dragon Lord! My father's request are meaningless to you! So, why!? Why didn't you!?! To make me suffer!?" The cub roared as I held back my wince.

"....." I lowers my head. "I'm sorry...."

"W-what?" The cub mutters in shock.

"I have no excuses.....I didn't intend to kill your father...all I did was simply to get him off....but my lack of control and impulses....leads to his death...and it was my fault....." I said while holding back tears. "I know what I did is unforgivable, and I don't ask for forgiveness...but your father ask me, no, he pleads with me.....so, I made sure you survived...."

The cub simply stare at me silently before he approach the deer and starts eating it, much to my relief. And after a while, he stops eating as he let out of a sigh. There's still a lot of meat left.

"You.....didn't eat all of it?" I asked in confusion as the cub simply gave me a deadpan stare.

"I don't have a big appetite.....dad always finish it for me...." The cub mutters as I wince. To my surprise, he pass it to me the rest. "...I know how cruel the outside world is...either of us could die.....but....no one is bother to apologize....."

I stare at the little cub in surprise before looking at him. The cub stare at me with a raised eyebrow.

"I ain't gonna need to tell you to eat your hunt!" The cub said in annoyed tone. I stare at him before snorting. "What's so funny!?"

"Nothing." I said before eating the deer, and to my absolute surprise, it taste good despite being raw. After finishing it, I look at the dead tiger. ".....let's give your father a proper burial...."

"..." The cub didn't say anything. So, I decided to use my magic and carefully draw an oval shape around the tiger.

Remove the earth on the circle!

And it's gone in an instant, creating a hole under the tiger as it fell. I place both of my paws near the circle and concentrate.

Reform, earth!

To my relief, the earth slowly piled up instead of a pair of chunks colliding with each other like a pair of speeding truck. And a tombstone appears right next to the buried area. I use my claw to write down something.

"What are you doing?" The cub asked.

"Giving your father a proper respect.....he didn't deserve to die...." I mutter the last part to myself before looking at the tombstone.

In memory of a hunter, a husband, and a father

- -

"Umm, do your father has a name?" I asked and the cub shook his head. Well, this is weird. I try to think a name perfect for him before getting one and wrote it down.

In memory of a hunter, a husband, and a father

- Koa -

"Koa..?" The cub looks at the tombstone in confusion.

"It means 'warrior', something that describe your father perfectly." I said as the little cub starts tearing up, much to my shock and panic.

"H-he finally.....he finally has a name....a name....t-that he deserves...." The cub mutters while furiously wipes his tears, which confuses me. I guess names are precious to wild creatures. I look at the sky and grimace, it's getting dark and wild animals definitely will be lurking around the forest like crazy. And I doubt the cub can defend himself.

"Come on....let's get you to safety...." I said as the cub simply nodded. I guide him to the cave, walking into it together. "Would you like to have a name?"

".....I don't deserve it yet...." The cub hesitate before looking at me.

".....it's Leo. Call me Leo." I said as the cub nod.

"I...would like to earn my name, Leo." I simply nod at him.

"Very well." I said, having no rights to argue with the cub. I'll made sure he'll survive and get stronger, so strong that he won't have to worry about any danger.

To be continued