6 Beautiful

I was born blind, so I can't see. Well I can but I can only tell the difference between bright lights and darkness. In a way, im thankful that I was born blind instead of being able to see and losing that sight. This way, I would never have to adapt to such a huge change so fast. But I do wonder, how do I look? Am I attractive?

When I heard that word Pretty, thats when I started wondering, am I pretty? What does it mean to be pretty? And thats when I started asking my family, Am I pretty? A simple 'yes' was all I ever wanted to hear.

But no matter how I asked my family they would always say yes. I never got a different answer. Thats when I relized, I couldn't ask my family if I'm pretty, they would always say yes, I have to ask strangers.

I was about to but as I strolled down the sidewalk with my cane, I overheard some girls talk about how beautiful this one model was. They didn't say pretty they said beautiful. And at that moment, I didnt want to be pretty, I wanted to be beautiful.

With a new objective in mind to ask people if I was beautiful, I stood taller anticipating their answer.

"Of course your beautiful."

"your so beautiful."

I felt amazing getting all these compliments but there was one answer that weighed on me like a boulder. "Dont listen to what other people say your beautiful." But no one called me ugly, did they?

I started doubting myself that night, were they lying? It ate away at my mind for hours until I had enough. I went to my mirror and flipped the light switch on. I stared at where I hoped the mirror was, but I never could see it. All I saw was the light from the chandelier in the bathroom, reflecting off the mirror.

I exited that bathroom, annoyed, angry. I crawled over to the kitchen, I left my cane in the bathroom darn it. On all fours I crawled around exploring the house with my hands. Finally making it to the kitchen, I searched one of the drawers, looking for a knife.

I felt a sharp pain on the tip of my finger that made me wince. That's when I knew I touched it, it was right there. I grabbed it, aiming it at my face. I put it close to my eye, and stabbed it, with all my strength. I had never felt pain like that before I wanted to scream. 'Just ignore it!' I told myself.

Again I aimed at my other eye, with less force I felt weaker, more faint. It was still enough to force a large hole into my eyes. I closed my eyes, I saw a red tint seem to layer it as warm blood dripped down my face. I crawled over to my parents room, knife in hand. I heard the sound of my gushing blood hit the floor like rain.

I creaked the door open and crawled next to the bed. I stood on my knees, "Mommy, am I beautiful now?" I heard the sound of the blankets move and the bed creak. "Mommy?" While I couldn't see her expression I heard a scream escape her as she frantically screamed daddy's name.

"Daddy, am I beautiful? Mommy dosnt think so." I started to cry. Mommy screamed even more, as I crawled onto the bed. I could hear her move closer to daddy almost like a way to escape. I stopped, raised the red knife in my hand, and yelled, "Mommy am I beautiful!?" Before she could answer I stabbed her. I was unsure where, but her screams stopped. All I heard now was the soft whimpers of daddy.

"Daddy?" I cocked my head to the side. "Get away!" He yelled. I backed away a little, stunned, daddy never yelled at me. I cried, balling my eyes out, I stabbed daddy. His cries silenced as I heard the blade pierce his flesh.

I dropped the knife crying harder than I ever have before, "I'm beautiful! I'm beautiful! I'm beautiful!" I kept yelling. I still felt the mix of blood and tears stream down my face, I dropped the knife, leaving it on the bed. I crawled off the bed and closed the door shut.

I crawled out the house, maybe no one would be outside this late. Maybe I was right, there was no sound except for my whimpers and the sound of my bare knees scraping the harsh sidewalks.

Thats when I heard it, the sound of a beeping car.