Erupted

We lay flat on the carpet, our eyes glaring at the ceiling while the music plays in the background.

This isn't how I planned it out in my head.

Every fibre of me tells me to make my move, but the needle in my chest pokes fear into my heart. Her shoulder rests next to mine, a sign that she's moved an inch closer from the past minute.

If she moved any closer she'd be on top of me by now.

So I swallow a breath of air, exhaling a loud sigh. And with a shadowy eye I turn my head to face her,  forcing my tongue to say the words.

"I like you Catherine. .."

There's a silent pause in the room. Silent enough to hear the outside winds begin to hit against the house. My heart races, perhaps racing at the speed of love.

She gives a subtle smile, but with it a tear complimenting it.

K. I have a boyfriend now.

Damn. And not just the word, but also the structure holding back a flood of tears.

"Oh, well that's cool", I tell her, trying my best to play the bigger person in the room.

Still the very room squeezes tighter and tighter till I'm nothing but an atom of a broken man.

And I know I've made things awkward between us, and perhaps ruined this friendship.

"Uhm I'm sorry, but could you just give me some time alone", I tell her while getting up from my position.

"Wait K, maybe we could talk. . ", she says while holding my shoulder.

But I pull away from her, hoping she gets the picture and leaves.

Eventually she does and walks out of my room.

I sit in the middle of the room, holding the back of my head in between my knees.

The Damn wall has erupted now.