1 chapter 1

WARNING! CRINGE UP AHEAD!

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'YOUR JOURNEY LASTS TILL YOU DEEM ITS ENOUGH'

This words rung through my mind as i remembered what i've done back then.

Those foolish thoughts..

Those thoughts..

Those foolish and stupid thoughts, that-... that made me where i am today..

Regrets? I dare say to myself.. 'You don't have the worth to feel that.'

'So what if you 'feel' that nobody loves you?

So what if you 'feel'  everyone hates you?

So what if you 'feel' everyone used you..., played you?

Should you really end your life just because nobody cared for you?

Should you really let your life and death be judged by other people?

Should you really let your fate and destiny be played by other people?'

This words kept on repeating on my mind as i agonized my foolishness and idiotic conclusion before doing that thing.

I deemed 'it' enough when i 'felt' its enough.

The pain i felt mentally and physically slowly ate my conciousness, til i became a fool- not minding everything and just focused on sorrows and pain.

How selfish could i be? Why did i let myself indulge on grief and sorrow?

Question after questions.. yet.. only one answer could be the conclusion.

I focused myself too much on what other's opinion towards me.

I could have done something but i let it be.. thinking i couldn't because i'm weak.

Now, looking around me that has nothing but endless darkness.

'Damn fuckin'it! I could have deviated myself towards their opinion on me and just do my thing and chase my dreams..'

....

...

Yes. I killed myself because of depression..

Its not easy.. as what everyone think.

I felt and indulged myself on anxiety, sorrow and loneliness.. i felt more.. but words can't explain everything..

Now.. if i could have a chance to live again.. i'll do everything.., i'll change my ways, chase my dreams, build a stronger will and determination.., everything..

Thinking of this things while floating on this endless darkness.. not knowing how much time passed.

Questioning myself and decisions, through this, countless time passed til unconciously, i started to forget some things and my mind slowly shutted down.. or so.. i thought..

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"IF I GIVE YOU A CHANCE WHAT WOULD YOU DO?" A loud voice boomed the place around me as i looked on my surrounding yet have not seen anyone or anything..

I wanna ask who was that yet.. i can't.

But seems like 'it' understands what i wanna ask as it answered me but not the answer i wanna know.

"YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW WHO I AM. JUST KNOW THAT I'M WAY ABOVE EVERYONE YOU KNOW.. YET.. NOT."

see? Who wants to have that kind of answer? Though i understand my worth is just like a part of a drop on the ocean of his worth.

Not wasting any of his time, i answered in a haste fearing it will change its mind as i know 'it' will help me towards reaching my dreams.

And because i can't speak i delivered my answer towards my consciousnes as my whole being lighted up for a bit that seems like it showed that my answer was delivered.

'I'll do everything to chase my happiness.. but i know nothing's free on this worlds.. may i dare know why do you help me?'

"HOHH.. YOUR RIGHT ABOUT THAT.. EVERYTHING HAS ITS CONSEQUENCES TOWARDS EVERY DECISION BUT ITS MY OWN TO RESOLVE AND FOR YOU TO DO WHAT YOU CAN. I JUST HOPE YOU WON'T WASTE MY EFFORTS ON HELPING YOU. I'LL LET YOU GO BACK ON EARTH THO NOT THE ACTUAL ONE BUT THE OTHER REALITY OF EARTH."

Hearing this, for ones in my life.. happiness overwhelmed my whole being. I shouted thank you over and over again as my consciousnes lit up for a long while before it dimmed tho still lighting up.

"NOW, NOW.. LET ME FINISH FIRST. IN ORDER FOR YOU TO NOT PERISH YOUNG AND WASTE THIS, I'LL FULFILL 1 OF YOUR WISH TO AIDE ON YOUR JOURNEY.... AND I'VE CHOSEN ONE ALREADY. BE READY I'LL SEND YOU NOW."

"Ah..! Just a little reminder, the world you'll be in to will be dangerous. Be careful out there."

Hearing its voice again i heed its order and readed my consciousnes before i felt something swallowing me as i let myself be dragged upon it.

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When the soul entered the reincarnation cycle 'It' made sure the soul kept its memories as well as its past lives though not if she's powerful enough, hoping the soul would remember 'IT'

"I hope this could make you forgive me, love. i'll be waiting for you forever. Til we see each other again."

It opened its mouth and whispered through the darkness, as silence came upon the void again.