1 The Voice I ran from...

The Voice started when I was just 16 years old. The moment I blew out my candles on my birthday cake. While my dad was smiling at me from ear to ear , because he knew his Kindle fire gift had brighten my day tremendously. That even earned him a wink from me and I mouthed the word bomb with my thumbs held up high at him, even in front of all my friends, I didn't care he was the coolest dad ever in that moment. Everyone who knew me, knew my love of reading. So I downplayed the shock of hearing a voice in my mind For the first time, to me being overly excited about my $200 Amazon gift card, And contemplating which Korean Anime I was going to buy First and Brag to my friends with later that evening. but I couldn't ignore the constant buzzing That came with the voice I know now.

At first it was like a buzzing, then as I was saying my goodbye to My guest Just hours later it was more like A questioning. Or friendly interrogation. If there's such a thing. A voice so sensual Asking over and over "where are you?" "How long will you make me wait?" "Who is the man that you laugh with?" What's your name? The Voice seem old worldly and elegant. The Voice also seem to be sweet after that. Over the next few months to come. Telling me it needed me. Promising to bring me happiness, if only I would respond. During this time I went back-and-forth in my mind thinking I had made the voice up. But, the voice always stated that it was real. Sometimes the voice would be so clear it would feel like someone was sitting next to me talking to me. Causing me to jump and look around frantically. At other times the voice didn't just seemed to Calling out to me, it seemed to be .... searching for me. Like it was seeking over a far distance. Demanding me to answer With the silent power. Always present and demanding however, after I blew out my candles, especially at night in my dreams.

At some point the voice would be so loud it would make me sick. my head at times felt like a bomb had went off waking me from my sleep. Only to be soothe with sweet words of apologies for not knowing its strength. Than it would come as a sudden prob Again which brought me to my knees several times. But, Always asking the same questions. "Why won't you answer me little one? was its favorite. The times the voice shook me was when it was Obscurely Weak. When it was barely a whisper. Playing along my skin, drifting through my hair breathing in my lungs and out my nose. At those times I felt True terror. I could rationalize being sick, or having a headache or even feeling weak. Due to lack of sleep And the constant probs and to my growing anxiety. But,I couldn't explain the feeling of being caressed outside my body and also inside. I begin to realize the voice was powerful whatever it was, and wherever it was that it was coming from. The calling to me was Enormously strange and terribly real and powerful. I didnt know how I knew this, it was just a feeling. and that feeling had a ringing of truth to it.

In short, I thought I was going insane. To put it frankly. Which wouldn't have been much of surprise since my life went to hell The moment my father fell ill and passed away months after my sweet 16th. It wasn't to Peachy before either, well besides beautiful sudden But short moments my father made sure I had even though we were dirt poor. I Couldn't remember a time where my father or I hadn't worked hard for what we had. or When my father hadn't stressed me to use my hands to get everything in life that I wanted. My father made it clear to never wish for anything, not harm for those who hurt us and not Riches and and gold for myself. So I never wish for anything. I just worked my best at anything I did. In a way, it became natural to be a part of even the smallest decisions we made for me life. from what story book I decided to be read to me, to How i wanted my hair to be styled in kindergarten, on to work and the bill I was going to help pay with my first job. I just couldn't remember a time where my father wasn't there and the agony of that knowledge beat at me endlessly. But the voice was there telling me things will get better. Telling me that my father was in a better place with no pain or worries. The Voice also stated that it would take care of me now. With my pain too close, I refused to believe those words right after losing someone that I love so much. No matter how much I wanted to.

So to say, It was all a blur to me, at first. Was a clear sign I was stressed out tremendously. Papers Were being signed. Questions were being asked. Money was being discussed. Through all of it, I didn't say a word I couldn't I lost something when I lost my dad and the voice knew it. It would tell me to reach out so it could comfort me. I didn't want to think too closely at how it knew that my father had passed. or All my fears of what it was would overwhelm me. Eventually, I ended up in the foster care system. My father's family wanted nothing to do with me since my father had wanted nothing to do with them. When I was younger About 11 ,I had asked my father once why he would never answer any of my aunts calls, and he said because they had made my mothers life Miserable when she was here. So I didn't bother to ask many questions about my family absence during my fathers funeral. I just went where I was told to go. The system is self wasn't hell. It made sense. Place a child with no parents Or family with a family, to take care of their needs until their old enough to do it on her own. I got it of course, I was still considered a minor even though living with my father and him being a single parent I took care of myself most of the time while he worked. So I was somewhat independent already. But the state had rules so I followed them, and moved in with the family I was placed with.

But the family I was place with was horrible. They made it clear from the time that I arrived That my monthly check was the only reason I was living in their home. It got so bad where at one point I was moved in the basement with all of their throw always and storage Being called trashed with the heavy price of a slap across my face. Which left a ugly little cut on the corner of my lip. Why? Well it was simply All because I brought my own school supplies and school uniform with the check from my job. I had never mention the money that they were receiving for me. And I had brought all my own food and personals. There were nights where I went hungry but I never asked them for thing. I tried as much as I could not to be such a burden to them. Apparently, I was supposed to give them every penny I made as well because me breathing was a burden to their family. The voice never agreed to my thoughts and often sounded upset with my foster family and promised they would pay for their actions toward me with a ruthless snap to each word. I didn't want to cause harm to anyone for living under their roof so I continued to remain silent and promise myself I wouldn't think negatively towards the foster family no matter how evil they had became. For almost 2 years I live like that feeling as if I was a burden. On a night probably three weeks before my 19th birthday I had a thought that maybe I should just die. And go to the place where my parents were, and not be such a burden on the world.

I had all but poured the pills in my hand and began to place them in my mouth when my whole body was frozen on the spot. An explosion of rage went through my mind causing me to drop the pills and stumbled backwards in pain. HoldIng my head as if I could stop the pain a feeling of Nausea almost overcame me. Then, As clear as the voice had ever been it's stated "you are mine!" "and you will not end your life!" "How dare you!!" foolish woman!" A feeling of heat poured over me and into me. The voice continued "when it's not yours to end!!" I am close to you little one" I will chain you to me so that you will never have a chance to make such a reckless decision ever again!" "I will show you in many ways that you are not a burden!" The lower parts of my body vibrate with heat and pleasure as The next sentence was uttered. "You will beg for forgiveness for this feeling you have caused me!" My body almost shudder in an orgasm with the Intense heat and vibrations on my most sensitive part.

Fears swamp me like never before. It was amplify causing me to shake uncontrollably. How can a voice cause such pleasure and pain in amount of seconds. Fear continue to wash over me. It robbed me of breath, and still I shook. I felt it than, the voice was closer. It was stronger. The Voice had never held Rage when it spoke to me or such Menace. The Voice had never caused such a pleasurable reaction from me either. When I was able to walk after stumbling a few times I begin to run to my room. Sweat was dripping down my back like icy fingers. I had to leave soon. Every nerve in my body was on high alert and I wish for the first time in my life that I get out of town as fast as possible. and immediately my body went to auto pilot as if I set the fear aside as well as the pleasure. I became so focused, I knew exactly what I needed to do and how I was gonna do it. I had saved up almost $5000.00. I was planning to leave my Depressing environment and move somewhere and start anew. But I had been a coward scare Of the unknown. But none of that matters anymore, what I feared most was that voice with it rage and promise of retaliation for my attempt at suicide. It was coming. he was coming! I knew it was a he now which made my panic all the double. And I had made a decision with the clothes on On my body and the few in my backpack with my money I saved. That he would never find me, that he would never catch me, and I would run from him forever. Without looking behind me. I ran off into the night my only thought was to get out of the state.

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