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"For as long as I can remember, my mom was long gone. My dad said she died when giving birth to me. So it was only me and him. We clicked together. We were best friends. He was the greatest dad I could have asked for in this world." Ji Haishan's voice turned melancholic, though he tried to hide it.

"He was also a great chef. I once asked him why he wasn't famous since his cooking was amazing. Do you know what his answer was?" Bai Yulin looked into Ji Haishan's eyes and saw mild guilt in them.

"He said it was because he chose not to become famous. For him, fame wasn't true glory." Ji Haishan sighed but he later continued.

"But soon I found out it was because he had been declining invitations for national competition and many interviews. He even turned down an offer to make him a permanent cooking instructor in a famous school abroad." Bai Yulin didn't understand why Ji Haishan's father would do that but soon enough she understood.

"It was because of me." Ji Haishan said. A bitter smile hanging on his lips.

"He was a father before a chef. He chose not to further his career because he wanted to take care of me. He was a single father. He didn't have a choice since I was too young back then."

Bai Yulin instinctively reached out her hand towards his as she said "It wasn't your fault, Ji Haishan."

"I know." he nodded, looking like he truly understood.

And now when he himself was an adult, he really understood his father's decision. Why he did it, and why he chose it to be that way.

"Our life was good, however. Because dad wrote many recipe books. The ones you saw in the study, remember?" he said.

"His books were limited edition. He didn't want too many people knowing his recipe and creation. And they were very pricey, I told you." he chuckled at this and Bai Yulin did too.

Then Ji Haishan smiled, saying "I learned cooking from him when I was five."

"No wonder!" Bai Yulin grinned, thinking of little Ji Haishan chopping vegetables with his small hands.

"When I was six, I already knew how to make omelette rice. I knew how to make dimsum and dumplings."

To say that Bai Yulin was impressed was an understatement. She didn't come down to the kitchen even after she turned 13. Only having learned how to cook from her mother when she was 15.

"Those days were great. We created many memories together." Ji Haishan looked at Bai Yulin briefly. He liked how she was attentive to every word coming from him.

But later, his voice came out drained "But great things in life were meant to pass."

"He fell in love with someone and married her. And that person- she was the daughter of Ji family." Ji Haishan shut his mouth tight after this sentence.

Even after minutes of waiting, he didn't let out another word. Bai Yulin stared at him and she was starting to worry. She saw how agitated Ji Haishan was behaving so suddenly.

It seemed as if he was triggered. Both his hands were clamped shut.

"Ji Haishan?" she called him but he looked distraught.

"Ji Haishan.. are you okay?" he didn't answer.

"Ji Haishan!" Bai Yulin stood up when she saw beads of sweat forming on his forehead.

Bai Yulin went towards Ji Haishan and gripped his shoulder. Her big manly hands held his skinny shoulders as she looked into his eyes. There was an unidentified emotion swirling underneath his irises.

'What's going on?' Bai Yulin didn't understand why he was acting strange. It was so out of the blue and not like him at all.

"Ji Haishan, can you hear me?"

Suddenly, he crashed against her body, taking a few deep breaths to keep himself collected. He tried to not think about it. He tried but he could still remember it just like it was yesterday.

He thought he was over it..!

Ji Haishan was fine in these past few years. He was completely healed from the trauma. There was nothing that could scare him. Not anymore.

"I'm fine.." he said. His voice barely above a whisper. Maybe because it had been so long since he last recounted the event and now that it did come back to his mind- he became shocked.

"No you're not-"

"I'm fine, really. I'm fine!" he repeated, cutting Bai Yulin off.

Ji Haishan had sworn to never let the past haunt him again. He was fine and he definitely was. That woman wasn't here anymore, he convinced himself. His disgust for her went far through the universe.

This was the reason why he didn't want to share something about his father. Whenever he remembered his father, he recalled his death. And when it flashed in his eyes, he saw that woman. When he saw her in his memory, his mind went blank.

One thing led to another and it was scary how the chains kept coming back at him no matter what he did to undo them loose.

"Ji Haishan, listen to me. You're fine, okay? I believe you." Bai Yulin whispered softly when she realized how he was slowly getting occupied with his thoughts again.

This was unexpected, truly.

Bai Yulin never thought that just a mention of this certain woman could make him so restless. Now she knew what the doctor meant by Ji Haishan having gynophobia.

That woman was the cause.

That woman.. who was his father's wife and Ji Haishan's stepmother.

Bai Yulin thought that she needed to know everything. She suddenly had a very determined expression to seek out the truth. She couldn't just leave this be.

Ji Haishan was for once, showing her his vulnerable side. But this side of him wasn't pleasant. He might look fine from the outside but she didn't know what was going on inside his head.

Bai Yulin rubbed Ji Haishan's back in a soothing manner. Her big palm sending tranquil warmth against his body. He relaxed into her, forcing himself to stop thinking about the past.

'You're better than this, Ji Haishan. You're not weak.' he told himself for more than a hundredth times.

Ji Haishan was always successful in stopping himself from caring about the past. It didn't bother him much in recent years. But why was he so concerned about it today?