1 Prologue

"SOPHIA, honey, I'm sorry." Jayden was on the phone, begging his girlfriend to understand him. "I was just busy these past few days. I can't leave my twin alone and we're taking care of Momm---"

"You're always busy." She said while crying on the other side of line. "You know how I hate being alone."

"I know hon." He took a deep breath. "Promise, I'll see you later. I just have to take care of something. Please understand me. After this I'm all yours."

The other one on the line didn't said an another word for a few minutes. "I hate being alone Jayden."

"I know." He softened his voice. "Hon, listen, I'll be with you tonight okay? I will be with and I will not leave you. Okay? Wait for me, hon, okay?"

"Come to me now. I need you Jayden."

"He looked at the hearse near the cemetery. "Hon, today is Mommy's funeral. I can't. I promise, I'll visit you soon as I can."

"Jayden, if you don't come here right now, you will not reach me alive!" She said with a threatening voice. "I need you right now Jayden! I need you!"

He rubbed his temples and looked at his twin not being himself, he's just staring at nothingness and having his own little world.

Kayden didn't just lost their mom, he also lost his fiancee.

I can't leave him.

"Sophia, hon. I promise, I'll be there as soon as I can, okay? Hon, please promise me you won't hurt yourself this time. I will be with you just, wait for me."

"You made your choice."

He rubbed his forehead when Sophia ended the call. He tried to call her again but unfortunately, she turned off her phone.

Fuck!

He called her this morning because he need a companion on his Mother's funeral but she refused. Saying she'll be more depress so he didn't force her. She knew that today is his Mother's funeral.

He can't just leave or walk away! He will not disrespect his Mother like that!

He tapped his twin brother's shoulder when they reached the cemetery. "We're here."

Kayden looked at him cluelessly. "W-what?"

"We're here." He repeated.

Kayden look outside. "Oh. Okay..."

Jayden just stared at his twin exiting the car, who is still dazed and not himself. He took a deep breath before stepping out of the car and escort his twin at the burial of their mother and his fiancee.

Jayden feels like his chest is gonna explode due to of mixed emotion that he is feeling, but he did not let his emotion be seen. Even though he was having difficulty breathing due to his extreme resentment, his outer face remained calm.

He's crumbling inside and he's about to breakdown but he's holding himself and trying really hard not to let anyone see it, especially his twin brother.

Kayden needs him right now. There's just the two of them now. If he broke down as well. they'll be a mess. He needs to take care of Kayden, he needs to make sure that he's holding up okay. If he shows any weakness. they'll be push down.

He needs to be strong for the both of them. He has a company to take care of, he has his Mother's case to worry about and he has his twin brother who is losing his sanity piece by piece.

And Sophia…he needs to take good care of Sophia. She's depressed and suicidal. He needs to take care of her. He can't just leave her alone.

At the age of nineteen, he doesn't know how is he gonna do all of that.

"I'm losing my mind…" Kayden whispered which brought him to the present.

He wrapped his arms around his twin brother's shoulder at patted his shoulder. "We'll get through this, bud, together."

Kayden didn't said anything. The both of them are just staring at the two casket that were slowly disappearing from their sight.

They both of them just sat next to their mother's grave after the funeral. He could not leave his twin, kneeling in front of Kylie's grave and crying while apologizing.

He looked at his Mother's graveyard.

Mom, you will get the justice that you deserve. We will not stop until we found the one who did this to you and Kylie. I will not stop until they pay for the debauchery they did to you. I will make them all pay.

His jaw clenched and his fist clenched tightly.

He took a deep sigh before grabbing his phone to call Sophia and inform her that he will be late for a few minutes but her phone is still turned off.

He felt a strange tremor in his chest.

What is this?

He tapped Kayden on the shoulder. "See you in the house tonight. I just have to go somewhere. I'll call you later, okay?"

He didn't wait for Kayden's reply. He ran to their car parked not far away and then entered the vehicle and hurriedly drove it towards Sophia's apartment.

He almost flew the car because of the fear and anxiety he was feeling.

Sophia has a tendency to hurt herself, that's why he'd been keeping her company. That's why he can't just leave her alone, because he don't want something happen bad to her if he's not around. He's been trying to help her overcome her depression and suicidal thoughts.

Jayden almost sank into the cement as he hurried out of the car and into his girlfriend's apartment.

And what he saw broke his hear and marred his soul.

Sophia, hanging from the rope tied to the ceiling

Pale.

Immobile.

Lifeless.

JAYDEN swallowed the contents of the Jack Daniels he was holding and then exhaled violently. He tightened his grip on the bottle as he remembered the reason why he was drinking. He wanted to numb the pain, to forget everything for the meantime. To pretend that it wasn't his fault.

He quickly wiped the tears from his cheeks as he felt his twin approach him. He was also carrying a bottle of liquor and he looked like he was even more drunk compared him.

Kayden sat at the edge of the rooftop, beside him.

Silence filled the air.

Neither one of them spoke while drinking. They were both silent until they ran out of the liquor Kayden had brought to the rooftop.

Kayden sighed afterwards. "I don't think I'll be okay after this…"

Jayden closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He's also a mess, but he can't let his twin sees that. There just the two of them now. If he gives up, what will happen to his twin brother?

He tapped Kayden's leg. "We'll get through it, don't worry."

"How?"

He opened his eyes and looked at Kayden. "I heard there was a witness where Mom and Kylie's bodies was dump. They can help---"

"Attorney called earlier, the witness are missing and the police can't find them." His jaw clenched. "We both know who did it though. We don't need a witness."

He patted Kayden on the shoulder. "Don't worry we can make a way. We'll figure it out."

Kayden looked at him, his eyes glazed with unshed tears. "She was pregnant, Jayden. Kylie just told me. She was pregnant. My baby...molested…fuck…"

Jayden opened his mouth to speak and tell what had happened to him but when he saw the condition of his twin, he just kept it to himself.

Kayden has so much on his plate already. He didn't want to add more to his problems.

He's a minute older to Kayden. That gives him responsibility to take care of his twin brother and not burden him more.

"We'll figure it out."There's nothing he can say to make his twin brother feel better.That's all what he can said ,while patting Kayden on the shoulder.

Kayden nodded the continue staring at the dark night.

"Come on. We need to rest. We have a big day."

Kayden shook his head. "There's no way we can win, Jayden. We have no witness, we have no proof and we have nothing that can nail those bastards."

"We'll figure it out. Come on get." He said firmly.

Kayden was forced to stand up his shoulder dropped, as he walked in while he was behind him.

When Blaze entered his room, he entered his own room and leaned against the closed door and stared at the ceiling.

He grabbed his head and walked over to his bedside table and took the heart-shaped pendant then sat on the side of the bed.

It's Sophia's. Her sister gave it back to him after what happened.

Jayden opened the heart-shaped pendant that is also a lockett and stared at the pictures inside.

Tears welled up in his eyes as she watched Sophia's picture."I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry, I didn't do what you want. I can't leave my brother behind, I'm so sorry…I'm so sorry."

He burst into tears as the pendant of his late girlfriend was inside of his fist.

If only he had stopped Sophia, if only he had gone to her apartment earlier, hopefully ... he would have prevented her from hurting herself.

He was Sophia's anchor, her weapon against her depression. But he failed her. He wasn't there when she needed him the most.

He could not even fulfill her request in the letter she left, even though he love her so much.

"I'm so sorry baby…" He tugged at his own hair while quietly sobbing. "I'm so sorry ... please forgive me. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry ..."

Jayden was breaking down, his chest is contracting in pain as he blame himself for everything.

This is all my fault.

He wasn't there to protect his mother, now his girlfriend is dead because of he couldn't stop her and he couldn't change her mind and he didn't go to her as fast as he could like he promised!

He took a few deep breaths to calm himself and then dried his wet cheeks.

I can't break down like this. My brother needs me.

Jayden pulled himself together before taking out his phone from his pocket and calling Luther. "Hey man."

"Jayden. What's up?"

"How's Kylie, my Mom's and your Mom's case?" His father is a police officer who is handling the case. "Is there any development?"

Few seconds passed before his friend answered. "Nothing."

His jaw clenched. "Nothing?"

"Yes and I'm going crazy. They can't make a move because they don't have an evidence, Fuck the red tape!" Luther said and depression was evident in his voice. "I don't know what to do anymore. I keep seeing my Mother's face. It's like she's begging me to give her justice."

"Your Dad?"

"He's doing nothing." He said with anger.

He took a deep breath and sighed. "Our family Attorney called me earlier. The case won't fly. I haven't told Kayden yet. He's a mess right now."

The one on the other line exhaled violently. "Kayden is in hell…"

"So are we…so am I."

Luther sighed again and after a couple of minute silence, he spoke. "I heard about Sophia."

Because of what Luther said, he remembered the memories that he force to bury. "Yeah."

"You okay?"

He let out a deep sigh. "Yeah." No I'

"Have you told Kayden?"

"No. Not yet. He has a lot of things to worry about. I don't want to be a burden to him."

"Jayden…Sophia's death is not your fault, remember that."

"Okay." He ended the call and laughed bitterly. "Not my fault? If only that's true."

He fell down on his bed then stared at the ceiling and gradually closed his eyelids.

"Sophia?" he called the name of his girlfriend while knocking on her apartment's door. "Sophia, honey, come on, open up."

Nothing. No one answered.

Worry consumed him. How many times did Sophia tried to hurt herself while he's not with her.

He took out the key that Sophia had given him form his wallet then opened the locked door and entered.

He did not know why he was nervous.

He grabbed the doorknob and twisted open, he pushed the door so he can enter fully.

Sophia's lifeless body welcomed him. She's hanging on the ceiling, rope in her neck.

"Sophia!"

"Sophia!" He suddenly got up form his bed there was sweat on his body while he was looking around his room.

Sophia.

He was chasing his breath as he was tugging his own hair then hurriedly left the room.

He went to their mini bar and grab a bottle of Jack Daniels and drank the liquor straight from the bottle. He kept drinking until he didn't realize that he fall asleep on the mini bar.

JAYDEN WOKE up with a massive headache but he continue his day like his head is not about to split into two. He cooked breakfast and served it on the table, he left a post note on the door of the refrigerator for Kayden then he got in the car and drove it towards Sophia's funeral wake.

He just attended his Mother's funeral then here he is, attending an another funeral of someone who is close to his heart.

What kind of punishment is this?

When he arrived at Sophia's funeral wake, he was just at the door and he felt like as if he was being slaughtered and was being eaten by his conscience.

He can't make his legs took an another step closer to the casket of his late lover because of his conscience.

He wasn't there when she needed him the most.

Sophia.

Jayden didn't know how much time passed, he was just staring at Sophia's casket before he can get closer to it.

He stand next the casket while looking at Sophia's pale and lifeless face. His chest tightened and he was consumed with remorse and conscience. He doesn't care if the people was looking at him because of how long he was standing there and just looking at Sophia, he just stood there while remembering the happy memories that they both shared.

Sophia hated being alone. That's why he always accompany her wherever she go. He made sure that he's always there for her. He promised that he won't leave her, that they'll be together but he got busy and maybe she couldn't take the loneliness anymore because he wasn't there to make her happy.

He caressed Sophia's casket. "Not today, Sophia, but I'll follow you soon, just like what you wanted." He whispered and laughed weakly. "I'm sorry if your alone again. I promise, if everything's is fine, if I don't have anything to worry about anymore, I'll follow you. I'll be with you. You wont be alone. Wait for me Sophia."

He didn't want to move. He wanted to stay right there, so Sophia won't be alone again.

"Jayden…"

He looked at the person who called his name.

Sophia's elder sister. They don't their parents anymore so she's the one who manage Sophia's funeral wake.

Sandra. Sophia's elder sister give him a sad smile. "Are you okay? Forgive me, I've been watching you so I decided to approach you. I'm just worried."

He tried to smile, but failed. "I'm okay."

"On the next day is her funeral." She said shyly. "I'm sorry if you think that I'm taking her funeral like I'm in a hurry. You know our situation we're short in money."

He nodded. "It's alright. I understand."

"Thank you, Jayden."

He just nodded and sit down on the chair near his late girlfriend's casket. He didn't take his eyes off her casket until he remembered the note that she left for him.

He took the paper out of his pocket and read it again.

'Hon, I'll wait for you. Don't make me wait too long, you know I hate being alone. Hurry up and be with me. I'll wait for you.'

He didn't realized that a tear fell down from his eye.

"Wait for me Sophia. I'll be with you as soon as I can."

He stilted when someone sat down next to him. When he looked at the person, he gradually lost the idea of following Sophia when he saw his twin brother.

He quickly returned the note to his pocket.

"Why didn't you told me?" Kayden asked while looking at Sophia's casket.

He shrugged. "I don't want to add more to your problems."

"Idiot." Kayden murmured. "There are just the two of us now,we only had each other now and you're still hiding things from me. Good thing Luther told me what happened."

He bitterly laughed. "I'm a mess Kayden."

"We both are." Kayden said in a weak voice before looking at him. "But as you said, we'll get through this together."

He stared at his twin for a moment but quickly looked away.

I'm sorry, Sophia. I can't kill myself. At least not yet, Kayden still needs me, but I'll be with you. As soon as I can. I promise.

Jayden nodded. "Brothers forever."

Kayden smiled. "That's the only thing we got now Jayden. And that's the only thing that is keeping me sane from all of this, because I know you'll be there, whatever happens…brother's till the end."

He tapped Kayden's leg "That's right keep it together okay?"

Jayden wanted to laugh he can't even keep himself together, who is he to give advise to his brother? But that's want Kayden needed to hear from him. He has to be strong for the both of them.

Kayden nodded. "I will. How's the company by the way."

"Leave it to me."He said while letting out a deep sigh. "I won't let those scumbags take away Mom's hard work."

Kayden frowned at him. "What do you mean?"

"I'm dropping out form College to run our shipping line."

"You can't do that!" Kayden exclaimed. "Mom will not like i---"

"Mommy is gone. We have to stand on our own now. I have to take care of the Company. I won't let those Board of Directors ripped us off. The Dawson Shipping Line is ours, I will fight for it."

"Then I'll help you."

"No. Continue studying. You wanted to be a Doctor right? Just follow your dream, I'll handle the rest."

His twin brother looked at him. "Why are you doing this? I can help, let me help you."

"We're twins…but I'm still the eldest. It's my job to stand for us. I'll take care of it, don't worry."

Kayden let out a deep breath. "Why do we have to suffer like this?" Kayden leaned back in his seat and sighed. "It's like I'm in hell…"

"So am I Kayden,"He looks at Sohpia's casket. "So am I."