8 Feelings Revealed

Over the next couple of days I had told E'Lara everything. From the first time I remembered seeing auras, to telling my parents and being committed, which caused her to get teary eyed. I told her there's no reason to cry or feel sorry for me, that I learned a lot from that experience. I also told her how I found out years later that my parents actually adopted me because my birth mother died during childbirth and no one knew who my father was. At this moment we both realized that if what she said about who I am is true then my lack of knowledge has to be because of this event. When I told her about the night we bumped into each other she practically hung on my every word as if she had never heard anything as intriguing before and she could not wait to hear what happened next. I left out a lot because I did not want to scare her with gory details of how I kill but I did tell her every detail about my dream, even though I knew my face was red from embarrassment, and I told her how freaked out I was when I saw my aura.

E'Lara got up from her desk and walked over to me as I sat on the little love seat across from the desk, with books scattered everywhere. I had been spending my days here, trying to figure out who I am, where I come from. My nights are spent hunting and checking in on Lucifer. She moves some of the books on the coffee table, sits in front of me and takes the book from my hands, setting it down next to her.

"When's the last time you actually slept, love?" She looked at me with sad eyes. "You not only look exhausted but you look like it's been weeks since you had a good nights sleep."

"I'm fine, nothing I can't handle." I force a smile, although I seemed to be trying to convince myself more than her, honestly I was not sure how much more I could handle.

I looked at her, into those breath takingly deep blue eyes, and all I wanted was to wrap her in my arms, lay back on the couch and not let go. To fall asleep with her safely cuddled into me.

"It doesn't matter. There's too much I need to do. I can't afford to sleep." Again, I was unsure of who I was trying to convince.

She took my rough and calloused hands in her soft feminine ones, her aura flickered but it was gone before I could catch what she was feeling. She has gotten better about controlling it to hide her feelings from me. She stared at our hands for a moment, absently rubbing little circles with her thumb, then looked up at me as if she was not sure what to say. Suddenly, she dropped my hands and looked away, trying to hide her eyes from me.

"Fine, whatever you wish, Jaz." She sounded disappointed, sad even.

"Hey," I gently tried to turn her face back to me, she pulled away again, but not before I caught sight of her tears. "Hun, what's wrong? Why are you crying?" I started to reach out for her again but decided it was best not to and just sat there with my head down, hoping she did not see me reach out.

"It's nothing. Don't worry about it. You've got enough going on." She wiped her eyes as she got up and started for the door.

Before I had time to think I subconsciously managed to get in front of her and wrap my arms around her, my back pressed against the door. I held onto her, I did not want to let go, especially since I doubted I would ever be this close to her again. I wanted to hold her forever, simply freeze time and stay like this.

Once my brain caught up, realizing what I have just done, I unwillingly let her go. I went back to the love seat, keeping my eyes on the floor and cursing myself for letting my heart control my actions. "I'm sorry, E'Lara," I put my face in my hands. "I shouldn't of done that, I should not of stopped you." I then run my fingers through my hair and stare blankly at the book on the table assuming she would leave me alone, again.

"You don't have to apologize, babe," She slowly walked back and sat next to me. "You can show me your feelings. I'm not like you, I can't read your aura. To be honest, I'd like to know what you're feeling. Why you stopped me from leaving just now. Mostly, I'd like to know why you always seem to shut me out."

I took a deep breath and slowly let it out as my mind raced with thousands of excuses. "I'm falling in love with you." As the truth slipped past my lips I quickly stood up and practically ran to the window, cursing myself again for not controlling my mouth and hiding my reddened cheeks.

"I'll keep myself and my feelings in check. I won't let them slip again so don't worry. Besides, I know there's no way we can be together, it's too dangerous for you," I was not sure any more who I was actually talking to now. "I will keep to myself, I won't bother you again with them." My voice trailed off to just barely a whisper as I spoke the last few words and I laid my forehead against to cool glass, closing my eyes.

After a few moments of silence I began to think she had left. I mumbled and cursed myself for being such an idiot as I turned around to return to my reading. I stumbled and stopped, standing there in shock. My eyes had to be as big as saucers. In all honesty, I did not know if what I was seeing was real or just a hallucination from sleep deprivation.

"Wow!" There was no way to truly describe what I was seeing.