12 Chpt. 12

His mouth drops and one by one the other voices start to cease due to curiosity, leaving only Margo, Lacie, and I singing to Lynol. He waits till we stop to look up at his wife standing beside him, mouth still agape, then looking back at the cake and back again. He moves the lit white candles out of his way to read her name at the top of the ultra sound picture, needing assurance.

Margo stands there grinning with her hands knitted together in front of her mouth, trying to conceal her school girl giggles.

"Are you fucking serious?" Lynol asks, still sitting in his chair but a hand rests on the arm, ready to push himself up any moment. She nods eagerly.

"Holy fucking shit, Go Gos having another baby!" Panik claps like a little boy and grabs said woman. Lynol shoots up and shoves him off, grabbing Margo himself.

"I get the hug her first. My damn woman. My damn kid." He growls then picks his woman up to spin her around. Her laughs are loud as she throws her arms around him, allowing herself the ride.

"I can't fucking believe this. Best birthday ever, babe. Wait till I tell ma! Another grandbaby." Lynol kisses Margo with so much force. A kiss that would make a whore blush. I sneak a glance at Shank to find him already watching me.

I find regret and hate in his brown pits. No doubt hate for me. We never had this moment and it's all my fault. Well, at least that's how he sees it. I think most of it's his fault. We wouldn't have had a moment as beautiful as this anyways, he had no love like this for me.

The club cheers, hooting and hollering the congratulations.

"I want to have a water birth with this one." Margo informs Lynol, drawing my attention away from Shank. Lynol cringes.

"After Sydney, are you sure?" He asks, still holding on to his wife.

She nods.

"What happened with Sydney?" I ask her.

"I didn't really understand what the hell they said. I had her, it went fine, but then I crashed or something. Pat and I didn't understand what the fuck they said. But I want another natural birth with this one too. We'll get a mid wife. Ooh! Missy! You!" She suddenly starts bouncing excitedly again.

"Me? I don't know if I qualify as ...that, but I'd love to. I wanted a natural birth with Shane but he had different plans. Always been interested in it." I tell her.

"C section?" She asks. I nod.

"Probably cause he got a big head like his father." Panik cracks, grinning at Shank. Shank just smiles like a proud father.

"Good thing its not hard like it too." Patch slaps Shanks back.

"Shouldn't you guys be busting Lynol's balls? He's the one having a kid." Shank growls. I laugh.

"And Missys taking the kids tonight, so Its just me and you, babe." Margo tell Lynol before biting his ear.

The guys make some noises at this.

"Damn, I definitely owe you one, Doc." Lynol's eyes are dark and heavy and he glances appreciatively over at me for just a second. I really don't get that name. Really, everyone's overestimating my qualifications.

"Don't worry, prez. One night you guys can have the kids for me and Missy to have a night to ourselves. Right, Annie?" Schiz uses his pet name for me as he gently nibbles my neck.

I elbow him. We get time to ourselves when ever Shank has Shane. And after awhile, when Shane gets used to Shane enough to spend a night with him, we'll have nights too. I doubt Margo and Lynol ever have much time to themselves.

Schiz just laughs and wraps me in his arms, bringing me to his chest.

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Around 9, I've built a whole fort from sheets, blankets, and the furniture in the living room. All three kids huddle in it with whatever food Schiz brought home from the store.

I collapse on my bed beside him, seeing as how the kids took all the seating places and even the coffee table in the livingroom.

He grabs me to lie beside him, burying his face in my neck. "What's on your mind, babe?" He asks me.

"Lots of things, it wont be still long enough to focus on one thing. What about you?" I ask him.

He pulls his face out of my neck to watch me watch him. "I'm thinking I want you to ask Shank to watch Shane one night this week so you can come to my house to have dinner with me. Or you can bring him with you. I just figured you'd want to check it out first." His emerald eyes settle on mine as he watches my reaction.

I open my mouth to speak. To say that sounds great but shut it again. I still don't know where we stand with each other. Are we exclusive? Is he seeing other women. I wouldn't doubt it, with all the time he spends at the club house. Which makes the fact that he has a house surprising.

But he's inviting me to his house. How many girl do you think have been there before? I bet not many. So even if we aren't exclusive yet, we're working there. Hopefully.

Would I sound clingy if I asked. Probably. We've only been together a couple weeks.

"I'd love that." I smile at him.

He smiles too. "Yeah?"

I nod and kiss him. "Definitely. I'll talk to Shank." I promise him.

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"What for?" Shank grunts down at me, brown eyes calculating my face.

I cross my arms over my chest, which only causes his attention to momentarily shift there. "Because Schiz and I have something to do." I answer though its none of his business.

"Don't you guys fuck enough?" He scoffs.

I shove his shoulder, but he doesn't move and it only spreads a fire through my hand and arm. His eyes light up at the touch.

Shank might be pushing 40 but he sure as fuck don't look like it. His scruffy beard and tied back hair make him appear older in a sense, but not old. Not 40. And when his eyes light like that, he only looks younger. Just like Schiz looks like he's younger than I am. But he's actually 3 years older at at 30 almost 31. But he has that boyish smirk of his and that playfulness about him that sets him back a few years.

God. Shanks is almost 40 and I'm only 27. No wonder I fell in love with him in prison. I was young with little experience while he had all the experience in the world and knew exactly how to play a naive young woman fresh out of a 2 year college.

"Mis?" Shank grabs my elbow to grab my attention.

I shake the thoughts away. "Sorry. Just thinking."

"What about?" He asks, eyes leading.

I shake my head again. "Us. Well, whatever you want to call what we had."

Shank grins at this. Something very unexpected whenever our past gets brought up. He either glares or has self loathing or just pure loathing when it's brought up. Or lust because he is still a guy and we did have good sex.  "According to our boy, you called it love. You know, cuz that's what makes babies." He laughs.

I stand shocked a second to see shank actually laughing and teasing me. This is a new side. He barely laughed while in prison with our time together.

I get over my shock quick though. And I take a second to process. Shank and I never really talked about my side of what went down. Mainly cause I shot him down the one time he brought it up and tried to apologize back at my old house. And now here he is, laughing at me. At my feelings for him. Laughing at what he did. Because Shane has no actual feelings. He's empty inside I believe. And whatever he might have had was taken out with his brother and the betrayal of his ex, Star.

What a cruel man.

"I did love you. I still do. And I don't think it's funny, Shane. I hate it. I hate my feelings for you. Because they're a reminder and an embarrassment because you never have and never will feel the same." My words aren't rude or unkind but very matter of fact.

The smile evaporates from his face and he watches me for a second before saying words that make my heart race but also make me wanna kick him in the balls.

"I got love for you, Missy Anne."

Not as long as usual but bear with me.