54 Part LIV.

"lf there's going to be a war, I think enough time has been wasted on the wedding already and we can't afford more time waste." I start to say with a confidence I didn't know I possess, "Me getting to know the kingdom rules and people is needed at a time like this and that goal can still be met without a dinner involving everyone. One or two of the ladies can volunteer to teach me and show me around while the rest can meet with you and plan the counterattack."

I finish my statement with a curt smile and everyone looks from me to Sean, expecting a response. I know very well that no one would voluntarily choose to be with me unless Sean commands someone to and I pray he doesn't. I think I'm fine by myself and if I can be provided with books to read and self-enlighten, I'd be super glad but there's a subtle want in me to meet with someone else. Very subtle.

"Well," he says after few seconds, "who's volunteering?" The men look at the women and the women look amongst themselves, Miranda and Keisha share a quiet joke and giggle lowly making me feel like a snail outside its shell but I pretend to not see nor be affected by it.

"Anyone?" Sean asks again but is responded with silence again and a little tear starts to form in my eyes but I blink multiple times, sending it back successfully. I won't let them break me.

"In the absence of no one I think we should -"

"I'll do it." Someone interrupts him and when I turn to look, I see it's Zara.

"Zara?" Sean asks sounding really surprised and everyone looks at her with shocked expressions.

"Yes your highness," she says with a straight face and I can't tell if she's happy doing it or not, "it's for the good of the kingdom."

"Thank you." Sean says on my behalf and she bows lightly.

"Since that's settled, do we have any other pending matters?" Sean asks and Joe clears his throat to gain attention.

"We have done the wedding and the coronation your highness," he says, "but we skipped the ritual. When will that take place, it is of high significance and cannot be waived because of a war."

"Well spoken Joe," Sean responds, "I didn't plan to waive it either, but we have to deal with pressing matters and the ritual shall be done the moment we return."

"But your highness, a war cannot be certainly predicted and I'm not saying that we will be defeated but then we cannot be too sure either. I suggest we do it before - "

"We have never lost," Kurt counters with so much agility, "and this time will not be first. His highness is correct, the ritual can wait till after the war."

"The war then the ritual." Sean says in an end-of-discussion tone, "I'll see you all except Zara this evening." With that, we both stand up and every other person does too, standing with their head bowed till we exit the room when I finally release a breath of relief. I'm not really used to all that tense energy and officiality but I guess this is my life now.

Once we're out of the door, we start to go upstairs and enter the door on the next floor. When we get in, I see it's a medium sized room with a table in the middle, a table of four seats, filled with so many fine foods. A whole fried chicken is placed in the middle, beside it is a plate of sliced fruits then a bottle of wine and two glasses. He lets go of my hand and walks towards the table, sitting at the head while I sit at the chair beside him.

There's an empty plate in front of me and a napkin with the cutleries arranged neatly beside the plate. He takes his napkin and spreads it on his thighs then serves himself some mashed potatoes, bacon and vegetable salad and starts to eat in silence, ignoring me completely.

"Sean?" I say lowly but he doesn't respond.

"Sean." I call out to him louder than before but he still doesn't respond.

"You're acting like a freaking child right now." I say, my hurt slowly turning to anger. He pauses his chewing as if to say something but decides against it and continues to eat in silence.

"So that's your plan huh?" I ask at the brim of tears, "your amazing plan is to ignore me, your wife, for the rest of your life?!"

"My wife?!" He yells back throwing his spoon on his plate and creating a loud clanking sound that startles me a little, "do you act like one?"

"You think it's easy?" I ask wiping away the stray tears from my cheek with the back of my palm, "you think I can just forget my past like I'm some robot whose memory can simply be erased with one push of a button? If I can have that luxury, I doubt I'd suffer this much. I want to live but these demons in my head won't let me, okay! They follow and haunt me everytime!!."

I finish, wiping off the few tears that fell, my whole body screaming for me to curl it up in bed and let the tears fall freely.

"I'm sorry," he breathes out and encloses my hand with his on the table, "I should have understood you."

"Just, give me time. Please." He nods in response, smiling a little and although I still feel a little hurt about everything, a sad smile manages to creep up my lips.

"Now eat." He says and fills my plate up with food, "you have a long day ahead with Zara."