28 chapter 24,6 - Miku's Past 2

It has been a week since that day. The day Miku's world crashed down. around her like shattered glass. How fragile one's perceptions could be, how easy it was to break them. Trust that she has given so readily to him who she believed, crushed under his boots as if nothing.

Ever since, she would see what happened again, what that asshole said behind her back was in her mind as clear as day. Only this time, there was more of him taunting her, mocking her for trusting him in the first place.

And, for each and every taunt and mocking sentence, he said in her mind more and more of her died, a bit at a time.

She barely ate and keeps blaming herself for trusting that jerk. Why did she trust him in the first place? Why did she believe him? Was it her fault for wanting to believe him? Those and other thoughts on that line were spinning on her head over and over.

And the worst part is that she knew why she trusted him. She needed someone in her hour of need. Someone that would be by her side that she could trust, a knight in shining armor.

But it was no knight in shining armor, just a scoundrel lying about being one and a stupid little girl that believed him.

Her mother had no idea what had happened, Miku had refused to explain it when she asked. All she was aware of was that her daughter had gone through something terrible, if the way that she returned all downcast, teary-eyed, and full of self-loathing was any indication.

As a mother, she couldn't help but worry about her little girl. No matter what kind of species they were a mother's instincts for her young were never any different. Thus, she had tried her best to help lift her daughter's spirits in any way possible.

She made her favorite foods, tried to play games and everything she could think of. She would barely respond to any of them, her eyes refusing to become brighter through her efforts. She had even tried prompting her to talk about what had happened, in subtle ways of course, but none of them worked on her. She even tried to talk to her husband, but he followed the rules of the sect too firmly (not give special treatment to anyone) and because of that, he was just as clueless as her.

The only thing that worked even a bit was singing.

Whenever she would sing to her daughter, she would gain a briefly brighter outlook in her eyes. They would gain a slightly lighter tone to them, as if she had been an overflowing ball of water which now had finally formed a small outlet, stabilizing itself.

Realizing that music is the only thing that was animating Miku she decided to use it. She sang for Miku and asked Miku to sing for her.

Little by little, one step at a time, Miku was coming back to normal. It was a slow process, months to make her back to normal. Except she never did come back to what she was before that night.

For one her love for music was much stronger now, ingrained in her very soul

And for the other was her mistrustfulness of most men and hate for liars. Never to forgive a liar.

One year later

Miku has been on her Mother's home since then. Her life though, had changed drastically. Some would say for the worse, while others would say for the better, depending on who you ask.

She now barely interacted with the outside world or anyone in it. She didn't want to, not when she had gone through all that trouble back at the sect. But on the other hand, she enjoyed her time at home more and more.

But it was not like she stayed the exact same way as one year ago. She dedicated herself to her music magic, putting a lot of effort in improving it by leaps and bounds. She trained in it like there was nothing else in the world to do, and for her, that was indeed the case. She was capable of boosting, healing, making shields, and attacking, even though her attacking powers were considerably week.

The most important change, however, was her desire to be an idol.

When she saw in a show she went with her mother an idol named Misa Misa dancing and singing, the audience applauding and all the happiness that Misa was emanating, Miku's mind could only think that she wanted to be like that too.

The joy of singing, combined with the love and adoration of a crowd of people... an Idol's life sounded like the complete opposite of what she had. A life where everyone loved her, cared for her loved her… that was the opposite of her life where everyone who was not her mother and VERY FEW others hated and scorned her. She wanted to be appreciated, to be admired, to have people listening and liking her. She wanted to be loved in some form.

When she realized that, in that very moment, her goal changed. If she could not find someone to love her as a woman she would be loved as an idol.

And so she trained, trained hard in order to get that happiness. She practiced dancing, singing, how to interact and everything else she could think off. It wasn't as easy as it looked, either.

For one, she had to practice how to smile in front of a crowd, by doing pushups while retaining a perfect smile. Most of the time she failed, as her smile would occasionally twitch, ruining the image she had been going for. Other exercises included smiling while she thought about how much she had gone through in her life. If she were to do that, then she could smile no matter what happens or how she feels.

Dancing was another great hurdle to jump across, and that one was just as hard. She had to get the movements, the sequences, just right otherwise the whole performance would fail. She failed many times, but the thought of others loving her made her continue, all for that genuine feeling of love she would receive from others.

She would succeed at this, she had to. She would not fail, she was not a failure. That was what she told herself every time she thought about giving up. It was almost like a mantra, to her.

It was the best she could do to forget. Forget the looks of pity and ridicule from some of those who knew what she was; forget how others treated her as an outcast in her mother's home for being born different; forget the painful days on the sect; forget about her former love.

She even started writing some songs herself. It was songs about her feelings, about what resonates with her very soul. Her favorite ones were 'Heavenly Blue' and 'please give me wings', those were the songs that resonated with her the most. The desires to be free and to be heard.

One day her mother even came to talk with her.

"My dear, isn't you pushing yourself too much? You have been practicing for the last 14 hours, you need to rest." Her mother said worriedly.

"No mother, I need this. I need to be an idol."

"But why? If it is just to sing and enjoy yourself why not stay here where you can have everything you may desire?"

"Because I want to sing for all to hear. I want people to hear my voice and admire me, to get animated with me, to be happy with me" 'to someone truly love me' those final words did not get out of her mouth.

Even now, deep down, months after she left the sect and her old life behind she still wanted to find someone to truly like her, and maybe, just maybe, her songs coming from her heart would allow for that.

And then, after months training, she decided to go ahead. She found an idol amateur contest and signed in.

It was terrifying. The judges were looking at her the entire time judging (mind the pun) with serious faces. She did not know if she pleased them or not but she just kept singing with all her heart and dancing the best she could.

All the while singing one of her personal songs.

After the song ended two of the judges were not certain that they wanted her in or not but the final one, Mr. Diethard Reid said she got the talent for it. And so she began her idol career.

After that first phase, she kept winning all others. It was like she was in heaven when she won the tournament. The one that supported her during this entire tournament was Diethard, the judge that approved of her.

After the contest was over she was called by Diethard.

"You are Miku, correct?"

"Y-yes, sir. My name is Miku. Thank you very much for all the help you have given me during the contest."

He then gave her a gentle smile and said.

"No need to worry, I just did what was right. You are clearly talented and have a bright future in this field." He then gave her a serious stare and said. "I called you here now to ask you something, would you be willing to be produced by me?

Miku did not know what to say. She knew the history of Mr. Diethard, he was the producer of many popular idols before and if she worked with him her chances would be much higher.

"I-I don't know what to say, Sir. It is just so sudden."

"No need to worry. I worked with many idols before and I promise you to take you to the top of the industry."

Miku was overcome with happiness at that instant. It was her chance, her chance of something better. A promising future full of light and hope.

She agreed to work with him, trusting him on this.

A month later

Miku was sprayed on the floor exhausted. She had been practicing everything her new dance instructor told her to do. No mistakes were allowed as she needed to train until she got to perfection.

She also started singing songs written by a professional in the field. Her manager said those would sell better instead of the ones she spent hours thinking and writing.

But it was all worth it as she had her first show…ish. She made some videos on YouTube so as to create a fan base. She wanted to make true shows from the start, no matter how small they might be or if they would make that much success or not, but the producer decided that it was not a good idea.

She obeyed.

And things were looking good. She was starting to make success and even got a true show on the horizon to think about. Even a CD was in the making.

Then her chance of an actual show came along. It was a small show, just a few hundred people were there as it was a special event of some anime or something. It did not matter to Miku. With this, she would be capable of experiencing what Misa Misa must have felt, that freedom and happiness that she exuded on the stage. All that love.

On the show itself she decided that she wanted to impress so she chooses her favorite clothes, a pretty dress that allowed liberty of movements and, despite not showing much skin, still was beautiful in her. However, when she was about to enter the stage

"No. Those clothes are no good." The producer said when he looked at what clothes she had chosen. "Those are not the best option. For you to make success you got to use these."

The clothing was terrible in her opinion. It barely covered anything, as the material was mostly transparent. The skirt was short and the color was red, a color she hated since THAT person used it the most.

But the producer said that it was the best option. He was right, she trusted him.

And so she sang. With dancing that was chosen for her, with clothes chosen for her and with songs that she did not like.

At the start, the public was not getting animated with her show. She tried to sing the best she could but the ones present were all looking at their phone or talking among themselves. No one was paying true attention to her.

She kept purring her soul on the songs. Trying the best she could. No one there really cared.

No one cared.

She was getting desperate. It was her chance. Her only chance. And she makes a wish while starting a new song.

I wish everyone will like it!

It happened as she wished. Different from before the people hearing what she sang started paying attention to her. They looked at her and were getting animated with her performance.

She had done it!

She managed to make people happy with her music!

But,

But why?

Why is it that she is feeling empty?

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

After that successful show, everything started progressing wonderfully.

And now she is recording her first album.

She sang the best she could.

She put her whole soul on the music. She was feeling proud of herself as she managed to transmit her full emotions in the song.

When she finished the producer looked at her and looked really irritated.

"Why won't you go at it seriously!?" He screamed at her with his full strength. "You should do it like on that show a few days ago. It was amazing, the audience enjoyed and all… but this? This that you did just now is shit! Do it again, and do it right this time."

Miku was depressed hearing that. Hearing that the music she purred her full emotions were being called 'shit' by the producer.

She went back inside to re-start singing. She did the only thing she could think of that was different from before, she wished.

I wish everyone will like it.

And with that, she sang. This time they enjoyed the music, but she did not.

And so six months passed.

Her career decollated. She was called in interviews, her album was a success and her shows were always full of happiness and excitement.

She did not feel anything about most of this.

She discovered after experimenting for some time that her 'wish' was no true wish. It was actually an unconscious hypnotic spell that mixed with her music.

It was all a lie.

But, on the bright side, the manager was supporting her with everything he had.

Today as well, she was going to train while he was going to see a possible sponsor.

"Ok, Miku-chan. Let's do it again, from the start." Her dance instructor said, much more amicably that in the past. In the past he usually was too touchy, moving his disgusting hands over her body with the excuse of training. Now, after she said to him treat me with respect and care, no desire he did just that.

It was just so easy.

Seeing this she started doing it on a lot of people. Anything she wanted, she would get. No more dirty looks at her 15 years old body or anything of the sort.

Everyone just listened to whatever she said.

The director was the only one she never ordered. He always wanted what was good for her after all.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

"Miku, I have an important request for you today." Diethard said with his arms crossed. He had a focused face while looking at her as if the mater that he would be telling her was of extreme importance.

GULP

"What is it you need me, producer?" Miku said trying to sound calm. This was one of the few times he ever had this face and whenever he had it, it was a serious matter.

"I need you to go to a special event. It will be for you to entertain the sponsors and possibly get a few more. Remember, you are to do as they say. If it goes well your career will reach greater heights, nationwide scale; but if you mess this up your career is as good as finished."

She started to tremble. she had heard of some of this 'parties to entertain' before, and they are NOT something she ever wanted anything to do with. However, the one indicating her to go is the producer, he had supported her through this entire time and brought her to this new stage in life.

A stage where there are no more Kururugi's to deal with.

'I can trust him.' 'He would never hurt me.' was what she kept telling herself.

"I understand. If it is just to entertain some sponsors, I will do it."

Afterward, Miku was taken to the meeting point, a refined hotel on downtown.

Entering the room, she saw many men walking around with woman barely dressed in their arms. It w-w-was fine. The producer wouldn't have sent her to somewhere bad for her.

He said she could trust him.

One of the men approached her. He had a big belly and smelled like concentrated perfume, sweet and cigarettes.

"Are you Miku-cham? So the entertainment of our little party has finally arrived." He said jovially. He then turned to the side to ask a waitress "Hey, bring our special drink for the star of tonight." He said to the waitress who simply bowed her head to him and obeyed.

A minute later the waitress came along carrying a cup full to the brim with a colorful drink.

"You do know I am a minor, right?" She asked looking with some misgivings to the drink served to her.

The fat man said.

"No worries, that is a non-alcoholic drink. It is just for you to relax a bit. Now drink it up, your show will be next."

She was not confident in the words of that man, but the producer said she should not mess this up. She drank it up in one gulp, it tasted like berries and something more.

Afterward, she was taken to a backstage to get ready to sing on that stage.

While taking care of her make-up (not that she needed any as she was naturally beautiful) she started talking to the mirror, trying to get herself together.

"Miku, remember. You are doing this to reach that happiness, this is your chance. Don't mess this up." She then stood up and went to the stage.

She started to sing and everything was normal, until-

Someone throw money at her.

"STRIP!"

The man in question that did this was the same fat one, he was looking between a clock and her body during most of the show. His smile was a perverted type as if he was looking at nothing more than a piece of meat.

After he threw the money and said those words the other man in the room started laughing evilly and started throwing money as well and saying those exact same words.

"STRIP!"

And such shouts were happening all around her.

She was scared and ran back to the back-stage. Some of the security tried to stop her, force her to go back on that stage. She simply said, "Let me go." and they obeyed.

When she went back on the back-stage she started looking for her purse to get away from here (her cellphone was in the purse after all).

"And where do you think you are going?"

The same fat bastard that she met before appeared before her again. His smell managed to be even more disgusting now that some of the excessive perfume stopped working and some of his bodily odor came into play.

"I am leaving. I am NOT one of those girls." As she was about to leave the room she suddenly felt a bit dizzy.

Seeing her losing some of her balance the man seemed to have figured something out.

"So the effect in you is slower. No matter, come here." And with that, that man took her in a moment where she was defenseless and took her first kiss.

It terrified and disgusted her to no end.

That he would put that filthy mouth on her, move his hand all over her body, take her as no more than a thing.

Then he decided to put one of those pawns of his into her dress to touch her breasts directly. The feelings of pure hate overwhelmed her to a point that her energy flowed faster and faster in her body, making her capable of liberating herself to whatever was making her this week.

She then managed to push him away from her, throwing him into the wall.

"H-How? How can you even be conscious enough to act against me after you have taken it?" He asked between his grunts of pain.

"'How?' is not important. What I want to know is what had you done?"

"…" He refused to answer, probably taking his time till help arrived.

"Answer my questions. What did you do to make me this week?"

"I spiked the drink I gave you before. The drug had a hypnotic and weakening effect, as long as the dosage was right you would listen to anything we say to you and be too weak to retaliate when your consciousness returned." He explained his and the other men on the room plan, a terrible and awful plan, in a mechanic and empty voice.

It was as she feared. It was a trap she had fallen, one to make her a plaything for others.

Wait a second.

That- Could that mean…

"Did my producer knew about the plan?" Miku asked while praying. Praying with all her strength for the answer to be no. That he did not know, that he was cheated, that he cared for her.

"Yes, he knew everything." And then the fat man continued. "It was not the first time he sent us a 'gift' anyway. He always sent us any girl that was just not that great so as to better fund the next one. His words were 'they are stepping stones for the one that will truly shine'."

Lies, it was all lies. This man is lying, Diethard would not do this.

Holding her desperation and trying to recompose herself Miku ordered the man to make some excuse or whatever as to why she is leaving right that instant.

After getting out of that place she called a taxi and tried to organize her thoughts. Ignore that that pig stole her first kiss and focus on finding where Diethard is that very instant.

She needed to know the truth.

But at the same time

She feared what the truth would be.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Getting on the agency where she believed that Diethard was she went straight to his room.

Fortunately, he was there.

She did not knock or anything of the sort, she just pushed the door by force.

"Producer, what was the meaning of that? How could you sent me to somewhere like that?" Miku asked with overwhelming anger laced in her tongue like flames abut to burn whoever made her feel like this.

"I don't know wh-"

"DON'T LIE TO ME!" Miku screamed at the top of her lungs making all the windows on the room break.

Diethard hearing this got a dazed and empty look on his face as if he could not feel anything.

"I did nothing except follow the usual plan." He answered.

"Explain this 'plan' of yours. As many details as possible." She ordered the man, the last man she trusted.

"Whenever I find a girl that got some amount of talent, no matter how small, I try to see if I can polish her to be a true treasure. To be something that can really touch the soul of this industry and let her name in history. I saw the beginning of that flame in you, but you were not good enough. Even if you sold well you were not a true idol in the heart. You are trash, so I did as usual and disposed of it in a recyclable way. By selling you to those men as a sex slave I could get my money back to invest in the next project. One that hopefully would not be a failure like you." He said all this, the truth for him in an absolute honest fashion.

It took all of Miku's willpower to not show her despair on the outside. It had happened again, she trusted a man that was trying to use her to his own ends. Another lier.

It was always like that.

Why was it always like that?

Why couldn't she get some happiness to herself?

Was meeting one truthful person asking too much?

And, with these thoughts swimming on her mind, she did the only thing she could think off at that time.

She went straight to the recording room, to sing a song. One of her songs. To liberate her feellings, like she did in a not so distant past, even if it felt like decades for her.

And so she sang.

Put her entire soul and everything on those few songs she made herself. And decided to post it on the internet.

Maybe she could find someone online that would like her songs that no one else does.

Maybe someone out there could still appreciate her for herse-

"Wha, how lame. LoL"

That was the first answer to her music.

"Desperate girl found, I bet she is easy"

"How can someone post a song like that online. It made my day more depressing, stop posting this kind of things online. BITCH"

"BITCH"

"ATTENTION-WHORE"

"EASY GIRL"

"Terrible voice, go find someone better to do it for you"

"The lyrics are terrible; you are awful"

"BITCH"

"Desperate for attention"

"Needs to be banged"

Those and other messages alike was all she got as an answer for her whole soul.

With this, she broke.

There was no one that she could trust.

There was no one out there that would like her.

There was no hope for her.

So why not make one yourself

When she was about to fully give up she had that thought. She decided to try it out, one last time.

So she decided to take one normal song. It was nothing exceptional and absolutely ordinary, the kind you forget in minutes after hearing. An empty song.

And so she sang one last time. She did not bother to put any true emotion on the song, after all, if the world was not honest and truthful why should she be.

But she did use her magic.

She pumped a lot of energy in one message to be put on that song, this song is amazing, the best you ever heard. And like that she posted the empty song full of nothing but a lie.

"Amazing"

"Diva"

"Perfection"

"The best song ever"

"Best music I ever heard"

"Goddess"

"Most wonderful voice I ever heard"

"DIVA"

Ha ha

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

It is so simple.

Why didn't she realized this early?

If the world is dishonest why should she be honest?

If people are traitorous by nature she just needs to take control of them?

No matter what happens she would be victorious as long as she did not trust anyone.

Never to trust another promise.

Never to trust another men.

Never to trust.

And with this resolve Miku smiled, the same smile she practiced so much for so long to be an idol.

The smile that used to be to bring people happiness, now reduced to just a mask.

But.

Just for that instant.

The mask was leaking through the eyes.

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