7 - Protestant Church Exorcist

"I'm going to be real serious. I want you two to become Exorcist of your own choice"

Said the sly brat- I mean father as he spoke to us with an extremely fatherly face.

Irina obviously is going to say yes. Her devotion to the Lord is plus ultra.

Me? Oh, I get no choice to say no.

You seem to think that we actually have a choice, but no. Now that I have seen the supernatural, going blind about it is impossible, it's going to find ways to drag me to it.

Thus, I need a new life plan that'll allow me to live neutrally. I don't want to be a hero. I don't want to be a villain.

All of those are too troublesome.

I need something, a path that exists for the True Neutral.

"If... If it's to fight against those Devils for the Lord... then I will!"

There she goes.

"I... hate this, but... urgh. Y-Y... Yes, I will..."

Ah. I said it. Goodbye normal life.

"Great, so first I have to enlist you two as trainee exorcists. There's a test to it. First is an aptitude test for holy energy or swords. Second is the intelligence test which I have no doubt Ein is passing. Third is physical test which Irina should past rather easily with how athletic she is"

Aptitude huh? Irina started to start doing stretches because she got praised. I remained absolutely still.

"Ein. I'm going to be frank, but I have zero expectations for you to pass"

Rude. Though, I don't mind.

"Irina, has been doused by Holy Energy ever since she was young, that Holy Sword there is not a fake just so you know, she's been sleeping, eating and playing with that Holy Energy bathing her and thus I am absolutely sure that her aptitude is going to be an A, her violet eyes depict that. Eyes similar to those of Angels"

So, you're telling me she's a case of SOLDIER from Final Fantasy 7 with their Mako Energy? Pfft. And, what? She's supposed to be the Cloud of the Protestant Church? Hah.

Really?

"You though, I don't know about you. So, I'm keeping my expectations low. If you get about C or B in aptitude then that's already plenty enough. Understood?"

"Nope"

"Good that you still have your cocky bite, prepare yourself we're going to the church right now"

I watched him go to the car and Irina fumbling about being nervous.

This sucks. It's like the worst of everything has just come to be. Should I just display my teleportation? Maybe they'll mark it as a sacred gear or something? No.

Hm.

Think.

...

I'm blank.

I sighed in surrender.

Go as it goes.

-----

The aptitude test was ridiculously simple. You touch some magical holy artifact and depending on how it reacts, that's how they grade your aptitude.

E to A, A being the highest and there's a tier above it, but those are for the Miracle Children, or rather the Half-Angels.

"Next. Irina Shidou"

Irina was confident and with all the flair of a natural heroine, all eyes were on her as she held out her hands.

A bright light came.

"A-Amazing. She's only one step away from breaking past the A tier and going into 'that' side... your eyes... they're violet... Amazing. A rare talent. You are definitely going to hold one of 'those' sword in the future"

Irina did a gut pose and came down. She gave me a cheeky smile.

"Do your best Ein! It's easy, trust me. We'll both get A and crush the competition! Right?"

No.

"Next, Einstein Shidou. Hm"

"Woah. Look at her"

"She's like a doll"

"Wow. So pretty"

"She's so little and cute!"

Ugh. Is this how Degurechaff felt? A mixture of pain and shame from having my pride as a man shatter. At least that Hitler Loli was a legit girl.

I have a dick.

Why can't I just be like Griffith? Girly but ridiculously manly. Minus the rapey aura.

I went to the artifact and held my hand out.

The results?

Nothing.

"E"

...

The crowd went into a loud whisper. A loud whisper of trash talk and degradement.

Well, whatever. This doesn't really measure my ability. If I let something like this get into my psyche then I should just forfeit my brain.

"Ah... don't mind Ein! You'll blow them away with the other 2 test right? Plus I heard the aptitude could be trained, so-"

"It doesn't even bother me, you relax yourself, something like this child's play for me"

Due to our height difference, I couldn't look manly patting her in the head.

But, seriously. I've been bullied worse.

Ugh. It irks me. Shit SHITSHITSHITSHIT. GET OUT.

Fooooooooohaaaaaaaaa.

"I'm on top mental condition"

The next test was by paper. We had to return the next day.

Naturally, I perfected everything.

"Irina Shidou Total Score... 768 points"

"Uwah... I passed..."

"Einstein Shidou Total Score..."

"Did she fail again?"

"I think she's too young to even understand some of the questions"

"Why is she even here?"

"... Looks like your name wasn't for show. Perfect 1000 points"

The whole room became quiet. I flipped my long hair.

"Uwah... as expected of Ein! Did aliens switch your brains or something when you were a baby?"

...

That's dangerously close to my true reason for being smart. I was already too smart back in my past life, but yes, technically someone did switch my brains.

Nobody else got scores even remotely near mine.

The last test was a physical test.

It was something like an American Ninja Warrior race track or something. Really. I mean, I get it but really?

Naturally, we were all asked to go into one big group and race to the end. It was a big stage anyways.

"Ein! Let's race!"

I want to teleport to the end.

Ugh. Hold myself. Rein myself. Keep myself. Stay Cool by Kirigaya Kazuto.

"Start!"

UWAHAHHHHASHHASHASDAHSASHHSAJDADAGGGGGGGGH

...

...

...

Screw this 4'0 body!

I'm being killed by the crowd! Help! HELP ME!

Owch. WHO STEPPED ON MY FACE! I'LL SHOVE A FUCKING PENCIL INTO YOUR EYES!

And thus, I became the last place.

I'm pretty sure that if my body was remotely bigger I could've aced this entire thing! Didn't you know I participated in the American Ninja Warrior before!

-----

And so. Apparently there was a 4th and last test. If I could ace it then I'll pass, probably.

No, I'm sure that I would pass, this is just like the thing is My Hero Academia, maybe it's a test of being good or something.

In which case, I wouldn't mind as being Neutral permits me to help if it's within my capabilities. I need to help them while looking like a hard worker who risks my life even if I'm weak!

"The last test is a practical Exorcism, do not worry as we have official Exorcist on standby just in case"

Ah fucking shit buckets bloody hell just give me a bucket of crabs and help stick them to my little donger. It's over.

I'm actually going to fail. It basically devolves to actual ability in the end. I want to cry.

...

No. Wait.

Could it be? Could being a flashy... hm.

I see...

That's plausible.

If I become a Exorcist then I'll eventually end up siding with the DxD or the good in other words. But, if I become a stray Exorcist somewhere before the creation of DxD, then I can maintain neutrality.

But, what if they start to invite me into Khaos Brigade? And if I fight back then they'd think me as evil or good depending on how, ruining my neutrality.

The proper way to go about this is...

I have to break the rules. The rules of every MC that's supposedly op.

That's right.

I have to showcase my powers, in the most flashiest way possible.

The only way for me to retain neutrality as a Stray Exorcist if I was already recognized as strong and neutral before becoming one.

This is amazing.

My brain is just being filled with nonstop ideas!

This is the path for me!

A Stray Exorcist who quit the supernatural and becomes normal, yet nobody messes with him because he's still super strong regardless!

A crouching dragon so to speak!

Alright then.

I guess I'll show this scrubs some good old Sternritter.

"Ein? Are you alright? Don't worry, I think I can protect you, they gave us this mass produced holy swor- Ein?"

"I don't need it"

Everyone heard that.

"Is he crazy?"

"Who does SHE think she is?"

"Dude, that's a boy"

"I don't care, she should just go to the kitchen"

...

I'll ignore that conversation.

The test overseers just shook their heads at me.

Next, several cages were brought along. Inside them were several low level Stray Devils.

I relaxed myself.

"Ein! Don't be stupid! Take a weapon"

It was my adoptive mother.

"Ein!"

Irina.

Shut them off.

Focus.

Cocentrate.

I'm Einstein.

Quincy Sternritter S - Spatial Transference.

I brushed my hair with my fingers and then flipped it. A mass of platinum blonde took everyone's attention.

I pulled the cross necklace I had.

Tink!

It glew.

...

It transformed.

A huge platinum bow appeared from the cross, it was roughly as tall as me, the handle branched off into 4 prongs that released Reishi this formed the string. And then at each end, was more Reishi that I could use to increase the power of my pull.

"E...in?"

"Heilig Bogen: Princess Platinum"