1 - A pitiful death for a pitiful life
In a park, somewhere in the high-rise cyber world 100 years from 2020.
An old man sat in the bench. He looked confused, even lost.
For him who has lived as a hobo, seeing how the world changed as he lived was a way for him to remember.
Remember what he was doing again.
"Ah... Yes. I was feeding the fish in this fountain with this bread I found in the trash"
He pulled a eaten bread and threw it whole into the fountain.
Realizing his mistake, he turned around and pretended that he didn't do anything.
...
Too bad everyone saw.
This old man was Einstein Gaylord, a truly horrible name. He has suffered his entire life because of it.
He stood up and left, walking aimlessly but for Einstein Gaylord, walking aimlessly was a way for him to remember where he left his cardboard bed.
"Ah... I left it under the bridge"
He turned towards the east, but he realized his mistake.
The bride was on the west.
So, he smoothly twirled in place and ended up facing the west and walked forward.
Too bad everyone knew he mistook the direction.
As he arrived under the bridge, he found his cardboard bed and sat on it. But, his weight was too much and he tore a hole through it.
Naturally, puncturing a hole with your butt does nothing, but hidden below Einstein's cardboard bed was broken glass.
And so, his ass got wounded from it.
He screamed as loud a he can.
"AH! My ass has been pierced by something hard and sharp! Throbbing! My ass is throbbing!"
Naturally, people who help someone asking for help, but someone with a complete brain would ignore someone pleading for help like Einstein.
"Help! My ass! It's been pierced, oh help! My name is Einstein Gaylord! Help!"
Too bad, nobody knows who the fuck that is.
So, Einstein died.
With his ass pierced by a broken glass bottle.
And he didn't die quickly, he died about 12 hours after he got pierced in the butt.
And he went to heaven.
But, heaven doesn't allow gay people so... he got stuck in purgatory.
"How did you die?"
"Something hard and sharp went inside my ass"
...
He became the laughingstock of purgatory.
Everyone from that batch went to heaven and hell with a smile on their face.
"Einstein Gaylord? So... according to our logs your life has been... Oh. Hm. Ah. Oof. Tsk. Phew. Damn. Tsk tsk. Whoosh. Sad. Very sad. Umm, I don't know what to say, your karma is ridiculously high not because you did something good, but because in your entire life you have not sinned and even became a priest. Due to this, we are willing to... err, compensate you"
Einstein Gaylord had no idea what they were saying, but he reminiscenced about his youth, watching anime and all that for so long. Over his old age, he forgot about it, but now that he's dead his life flashed before his eyes and he remembered everything.
"Umm, Einstein? We would want to compensate you for your extremely pitiful life? Do you have anything you wish for? Anything?"
Einstein liked isekais.
"Can I get reincarnated?"
"You'd get reincarnated anyways, it's a minimum for compensation"
"Can I get reincarnated in any world?"
"Ah, I see where you're getting at. Very well, enjoy your new life"
...
Einstein smiled and waited. Soon, he began to disappear.
The purgatory manager thought he wanted to reincarnate in an anime world where he can be happy.
Yeah.
No.
"I hope I can watch anime again in my next life on Earth. Thank you Mr. Purgatory."
"Yes, I'm used to- wait, Earth? Not an anime world with a cheat chosen from a gacha?"
"Huh?"
"Huh"
And then Einstein disappeared off to some anime world chosen at random.
"Hooboy, he's not going to be happy the next time he comes here is he?"
...
"Hoooooooboy"
...
"HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOBOI"
"Shut up Purgatory Boy!"
"Yes, Sir!"
-----
This is stupid.
Isn't he some kind of God that's supposed to already know what I want? Why did he think I'd want to go to an anime world? Do kids really wish that?
In front of me was a large gacha system.
[Samsara Gacha! Anime Edition Banner! Not K2W!] (K2W = Karma 2 Win)
A suspicious Gacha to boot.
But, I guess it doesn't matter now does it. As long as I get transferred to a world similar to Earth it'll be fine.
I hope it's a slice of life. They're usually peaceful.
[Roll]
I clicked the obvious button.
It showed a screen of some sort and visual confirmation that it's actually spinning, but we all know that the spinning is just a lie, the moment you click roll, you're prize has already been chosen.
To be honest, I don't really care what I get compared to what world I'm placed in.
[Sternritter Custom Schrift S - Spatial Transference]
Meh, I don't know what that is. Now, I should be going to the random world.
[DxD]
Hm. This thing is just messing around now is it?
I did my best to sigh. Well, at least it's somehow peaceful for the normals.
Right, as long as I don't get involved in the Supernatural it'll be fine.
I just have to be... Neutral.
I close my eyes.
-----
When I awoke, I was as expected a baby.
"Another abandoned child? Oh Lord, please be merciful to these foolish parents"
An old nun came to pick me up.
"Oh? Aren't you a handsome one, owawa, are you hungry? I assume you are, come drink"
She pulled her bra and forced my mouth into it.
Granny Boobies.
...
I'm too old for this youth bullshit. It's just breast feeding anyways. No need to over react.
After drinking my fill of milk, I was brought into a room with multiple cradles. Placed in there and thus began my life of absolutely nothing.
Well, at least it's peaceful.
I can appreciate being fed and sleeping in soft and warm beds.
Time passed by quickly.
