1 •Chapter 1•

*Don't Give Up Because Of One Bad Chapter In Your Life. Keep Going. Your Story Doesn't End Here*

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Breath Elena. Breath.

In and out. In and out.

You can do this. You're strong. You're a big girl now.

I replayed the words in my mind as I was about to enter my home for the first time in 3 years since they died.

Since they were taken away from me. I was only 15. Who knew that I would go from having everything to losing everything in the span of 24 hours??

I cried.

I cried so hard that night when I woke up in a room with plain white walls and disinfectant clear in the air and a machine that was constantly beeping.

When I woke up and was told the news it was like the air was knocked out of me. To be honest...when I heard what they said at first...I laughed. I thought they were playing games with me. I thought that this was just one big huge misunderstanding and they would walk through that door and yell surprise as a birthday prank. Little did I know that I was never going to see them again.

They were gone.

I cried so much that I thought I had run out of tears. I refused to talk to anybody for weeks on end. I refused to eat. I refused to move. It was like I was stuck. My body was stuck. My soul was stuck. Everything was stuck.

My aunt Alexis came swooning in ready to save the day. I didn't want her. I didn't want anyone. I wanted them. I wanted the people that made me whole. I wanted the people that made me laugh everyday. I wanted the people that I shared my childhood memories with. I wanted the people that always protected me. I wanted them. Sometimes I could still feel them. I could still feel their presence. Almost as if they had never died. Like they had never left. I wake up every night hoping that it was all just a bad dream or that I was just being paranoid and crazy. I'd take that feeling anyway over what it is that I'm feeling now.

We had their funeral 3 weeks after my birthday. I didn't even shed a tear. Is it weird that I didn't cry?? That I didn't show any signs of sadness or pain?? Or maybe it was because I had no energy left in me to carry on. I had no energy left to cry. I had no energy left to say my last goodbyes. I just didn't have it in me...and I've been feeling guilty ever since.

I haven't even cried since the news of the or death. 3 years of unshed tears still roam through my tear ducts...wanting to find a way out but I just can't seem to let them out.

My fingers were trembling as I fished out the keys to the house. Shaking, I unlocked the door to my past and stepped in.

Breath Elena. Breath.

Everything is just as I remember it. Everything is just as it was 3 years ago. I shut the door softly then took a few more steps inside. I sucked in a sharp breath as I took everything in. Maybe I wasn't ready for this. Maybe this is just too soon for me to be here.

But I have to do this. I have to let go. I have to set them free and set myself free from all the pain I've been keeping in for all these years. I have to do this for them. I have to this for myself.

But today is the hardest days of them all.

Today is my 18th birthday.

The anniversary of my families death.

I've never celebrated my birthday since then because it was too hard for me to celebrate life when death was hovering over me like a cloud.

Death was everywhere for me. It followed me and nicked at me until I couldn't forget it. It swallowed me whole. It took over my life for 3 years. Everything reminded me of death. It reminded me of them and I couldn't avoid it any longer. I had to face it. I had to make things right.

The memories are still fresh in my mind. Each time I close my eyes I see all the times we were laughing and smiling. Running around trying to catch each other. I see it all.

Tears threatened to spill out of my eyes but I don't let them fall. This is a constant thing. Everytime I feel like crying and the tears are on the verge of making it out...they can never seem to just pull out of my eyes. They just sat there. Unshed.

Fishing out my phone from my back pocket I immediately dialed the one person that I knew always had my back. No matter how much I pushed...she was always there. She just always knew.

"Hello?? Elena??" She answered.

"I'm home." I whispered back.

I hung up the phone and put it back in my pocket.

I took in one large breath and exhaled.

I'm home.

I'm finally home.

"Mom. Dad. I'm home."

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