11 Chapter 10

It's really painful to lose someone especially those you cared and loved unconditionally. Whether it's a child, your parents, or even friends. Hindi ko alam kung saan kakapit, ayokong makita ng mga kapatid ko na mahina ako dahil ako ang dapat sandalan nila sa ganitong sitwasyon. I was devastated by the fact that she's gone, ang aga dahil hindi ko na siya makakasama pa.

She's in the sun, the wind, the rain,

she's in the air you breathe

with every breath you take.

She sings a song of hope and cheer,

there's no more pain, no more fear.

You'll see her in the clouds above,

hear her whisper words of love.

You'll be together before long,

until then listen for her song.

It was a poem by Christy Ann Martine, I lost count on how many times I read it again and again.

"Drink some water, you'll get dehydrated." Ares handed me a glass of water.

"Sinabi kong huwag kayong papasok dito." I exclaimed but he remained calm.

"I can picture in my head what will happen next." Naupo ito sa upuan na nasa harap ng mesa ko.

"W-what do you mean?" I asked

Tipid na ngumiti ang binata "Kapag patuloy mong binago ang nakaraan maraming maaapektuhan. Th–these opportunities you have are for you to enjoy and to be with your family again." He sighed, "Huwag mo ng ipilit dahil mas pinalalala mo lang ang sitwasyon."

"So, you know something," I stated as a matter of fact. Sigurado ako dahil nakikita ko, hindi naman siya magsasalita ng puno ng kasiguraduhan kung wala.

"You're one of us," He whispered before leaving.

I'm being selfish, dapat na akong tumigil. Kung ito ang nararapat para sakin tatanggapin ko na lang.

A month has passed since Mom ended her life while Dad is still not arriving home. It nearly reached the media but luckily I precluded it. Hindi naman kinakailangan na malaman ng mundo ang sitwasyong kinakaharap namin ngayon.

"Ate okay ka lang?" Tanong ni Bianca, mapungay ang mga mata nito dahil kakagising lang.

Tumango ako "Of course! We have each other,"

Mom was cremated, I hope she's happy and doing well even...

Iisang beses na umiyak si Bianca habang si Caden ay hindi man lang nagbabago ang reaksiyon ng mukha. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang maaaring maging resulta nito sa kaniya dahil pinipigilan niya ang tunay niyang nararamdaman na kung saan ay mali. He might break down soon.

I took my phone out of my pocket when I felt the vibration of it.

Let's meet, I have something important to tell you.

It was from Cole.

Wala naman itong sinabing lokasyon kung kaya't sa opisina na ako nito nagtungo. Sakto naman na pagpasok ko ay ang paglabas niya.

"H-hey..." it was almost a whisper "Ako na sana ang pupunta sa inyo kaso naunahan mo 'ko."

I smiled "It's fine,"

He slightly shook his head "Sa taas tayo,"

Tinanguan ko ang kausap saka sinundan siya hanggang makapasok sa loob ng opisina nito. It's always clean and neat, very opposite of the majority.

"How are you?" He asked.

"I'm good, but you messaged me for a different reason, right? I was trying my best to change the topic. I don't want him to see me at my emotional point. Kaya kong mag-isa at kaya ko rin na hindi umasa sa iba.

"Ah, right," tumikhim ito bago magsalita "It's about your Mom." there was a hint of uneasiness in his eyes.

"What about h-her?" I avoided his deep gaze.

"Take a look at this." He pointed out his computer, pinaupo ako nito sa swivel chair niya habang siya'y nakatayo sa gilid. I can smell his manly scent, won't deny it he smells good.

Marahan akong pumikit. It was her body. Ito ang pinakainiiwasan kong makita pero ito na sa harapan ko.

"I'm sorry, but I badly need to show you these slides." He started clicking the mouse and it revealed numerous pictures. Braso, binti at hita na puno ng peklat habang ang huling litrato ay magkasama ang magulang ko sa isang parke. May ngiti sa mga labi nito habang nakaakbay ang isang braso ni Dad.

"A-ano ang mga ito? Naguguluhan ako." Ani ko.

"What is your relationship with this man?" He pointed the man beside my Mom.

"H-he's my f-father..." stuttering.

"May nabanggit ba sa'yong tungkol sa pananakit si Mrs. Claveron?" He seems intense, nakakunot na ang noo nito tila may gustong malaman.

"N-nothing!" I didn't mean to raise my voice.

"Be honest with me, Skye, because we need to dig deeper."

I stood up then faced him "What's the point? She's not coming back." I bit my lower lip to stop the sensitivity I'm feeling.

"Yes, but how can you move on if you're scared to know the truth?"

He got me, it's true I'm scared because maybe the person I'm assuming and cherish the most must be the reason behind all these. Ayoko at pinipilit ng utak ko na huwag maniwala dahil parang imposible, parang hindi makatao.

"Wala siyang nabanggit p-pero ramdam ko, nakita ko. But that doesn't mean na–"

"I know–I know, just stay calm..." he instructed. "Where was the last time you saw him? Your father." He asked.

I took a deep breath "He hasn't come home yet."

Napuno ng katahimikan ang silid. I want to know everything but he's my father. Oo, galit ako sa kaniya pero paano naman yung mga sakripisyo at paghihirap niya samin? I can feel his love for us but is that enough reason for me to ignore the truth?

"Help me," I let out a harsh sigh, "I want to analyze further."