4 Beginning

____Julie____

As usual, I get up early. I already prepared breakfast and helped the others on the chores.Just like what I do when I’m out of the job. I just found out that Simon is only having the maids so his grandmother in Spain can still look after him. His parents were out of the country and they are coming home once every year just because Simon doesn’t want to see them. I don’t know what his reasons are but I rather not butt in their lives. Some people find it annoying and I don’t want to lose this job just because of my nosiness. So the maids here are the only connection he has to his relatives. That’s why they are speaking other languages.

At first, I thought that it was only a minor family problem but I noticed that something’s off. I get that Simon doesn’t want to see his parents but if my child is in a condition like this, I’ll insist being by his side. My dad used to be like that, he even told me not to go to school when I caught a cold. If I told him I had exams that day, he would insist and threaten me that he’ll burst into our room just to get me home.

Once a year? Their company will not go bankrupt if they stay for months with their son.

I don’t know, it must have been hard for Simon.

After I went to the garden. I passed by the photos displayed in the hallway. I ran my hand over the table as I looked at the pictures there one by one.

It's very unusual but at the same time, it makes me happy to see Simon in those pictures smiling in every crowd holding the trophy he got. There are also some photos there showing Simon's youth while playing with his fellow children.I also saw that one of the kids playing with him was Justin. I guess at least, he had a great childhood. Probably, Justin messed with him every day.

"It's fascinating, right?"I turned to Jayden who was next to me and like me, he was also looking at the pictures.I turned my gaze back to the pictures on display as I listened to him recount.

"You will not believe that in those pictures you see. I was there." I remained silent because I also did not know what to say to him.

Who am I to break the moment?

"I saw every success Simon made, I've also seen him fail. And that's what I do best, you know—watching and doing nothing." I don't know what happened but maybe Jayden went through a lot to be sad as he told his story

We are supposed to be happy when bringing back happy memories back then. And maybe this guy is not what I expected to be.

"Simon is very important to me. It seems like I've got a child to raise but instead he is the one there for me always. I've considered myself a parent of his but should every parent be the one lifting their child?"the edge of his lip slightly raised and smiled bitterly.In times like this, I should just shut my mouth,I do not like to interfere but I can not bear not to speak at this time.

"You know, Simon must be happy to have someone watching over him. You become more of his parents than his biological ones." Jayden looked at me and waited for the next thing I'll say.

There always sadness in his eyes and I think I will need to see him smile before my work here is done. I suddenly felt something strange, I could not explain what I felt when I saw the smile of this man.

"I mean someone who is there. Although, you don't do much for him, at least you care enough and understand everything he made. You appreciate the efforts he gave, not leaving him behind. You know, you can't find happiness with ones who only accept your success not your downs."

I can't believe I said that knowing that even I am questioning myself if I’m really happy.But somehow the sadness in his eyes disappeared for a while. He just sighed and averted his eyes from the photos.

"Yeah, that's how it works. I can't walk away from all of this. I will witness how everything will be gone afterwards."

Before he left, I said something that made him stop.

"At least think that it is better to see them before they are gone than to find them when you never know where they are."

Jayden turned to me again but this time I could no longer see the sadness or anger in his eyes. I could no longer see any emotion and was startled because of the deep look he threw at me.

"Julie..."I looked away from Jayden whose forehead furrowed as he looked to my side. I walked to the door where Dolores, one of the housemaids, was standing."Who are you talking to,Julie?"she asked so I frowned. Don't they know Jayden?

"Oh, I'm talking to Jayden. Simon’s friend.”the old woman's eyes widened as she pulled me away from there. She took me to the kitchen and brought her face closer to me as if she did not want anyone to hear what she had to say. I was swallowed up by just staring at it.

"Hija, when Simon was a child, he was very happy and energetic.He is also smart and always top of his class so his parents have no problem with him,"just as before, I did not say a word and just let her talk."But one night we heard the boy talking to someone in his room. Someone he always talks to even though we do not know where it is. We do not find anything in his room." It seemed that something cold was crawling on my skin causing me goosebumps. I think now, I know where this conversation is going.

"The doctor said that it is normal for children, especially for an only child, to have an 'imaginary friend'. Because of that, we were at ease knowing that he was not going crazy but now, he is still talking to that Jayden so I think maybe there is something else in Simon now. So, hija don't be too entertained by Simon's stories about his supposed friend.”I moved away a little from Dolores and sighed when I’m finally free from those scary stare of hers. How can she say that to Simon? And she thinks that I'm mad?

The old woman returned to the kitchen and will probably prepare our meal. I was left there and pondered what she just had told me.

They know Jayden but—

"So, do you believe in what Simon said to you? That no one can see me except you and him?"I almost fell from my seat when Jayden spoke behind me. Simon told me that me and him are the only people who can see Jayden so he told me not to talk to Jayden when there were people around and I might be mistaken for crazy people like him.

But I never meant to take that 'joke' seriously. I thought that he said that because Jayden is invisible in the way he acts.

"You're pretty amusing...you don't freak out, huh?"he is supposed to tap my shoulder but I immediately walked away but I turned around and faced him.

This is no longer a joke, I might believe that we're turning out mad!

"So, why am I seeing you?" I asked a very brave question here causing Jayden's eyes to narrow as if looking for an answer.

"I think the rule is when someone is ecstatic, their eyes will get to see me.We do a lot of process of eliminations, that's the most possible cause. I think you're VERY happy that you get your job, right? I think that’s the only reason for you to see me."I was stunned for a moment.

Am I really that desperate to be ecstatic for my salary? I mean, when he meant 'ecstatic'—I should be really happy that time.

"Well, just listen to Simon. Don't talk to me when there are people around. I usually don't like noisy and nosy people so try to be less talkative, okay?"he patted my head and my brows furrowed. even before he finally left, I called his name.

"Jayden?" He looked back and me and all I can say is Why does he look at me like that with those eyes?! His hands are on his back and I catch a glimpse on the notebook he’s holding. I shake my head, I need to know what’s going on first.

"I'm not going mad, do you think?" he smiled and seemed to refrain from laughing from what I said.He let out a deep breath and leaned against the wall and looked up.

"Is that an insult, woman?"I saw a grin on his lips. He seemed to be amused by what I said."What?"I heard him laugh so somehow the weird atmosphere surrounding the two of us disappeared.

"Just to be clear,Julie. Seeing me doesn't make you mad. You aren't just like any other people, woman. I mean—you're more extraordinary and unusual." he winked at me and walked away.

I know he did that to make me feel better but there's something on his look that makes me feel uneasy. I know that it's bothering him also.

Oh, the turn of events is really unexpected. I'm going mad, seriously.

________________

"Julie, I heard you fainted last time you visited the hospital. Are you feeling better now?"despite uncle’s audible voice on the other line, I was happy to hear my cousins shouting 'We miss you, Julie.’

"I'm okay and doing great now, tito. Thank you for paying kuya's hospital fees. I'll make sure that I will pay it all back."

*tito= uncle

*kuya=older brother

"No,Julie. I tried to talk to your cousins and they've all agreed to not talk about it when their mother is around.I will also pay for it . Afterall, your dad is one who helped me build this hospital.”

"You and my father are family. It is only right if he help you with your dreams but this is a huge thing." I said.

"No,no. Everything now has a price, Julie. Even a dream has something that must be reciprocated and sacrificed. Even our lives have a possible payment in the end. And you know that it is death, right?" uncle rebutted so I couldn't answer.

Finally, I said goodbye before dropping the call.

Now, I can somehow breath. I am relieved because now, my problems have been reduced by one.

But talking to uncle is like those old times, he talks like he belong to the 17th century. The last sentence he said was quite meaningful. I never know if it's a good or a bad thing.

"Julie."I turned to Simon who was in front of me. We are here in the garden now and I have finished everything so that I can breathe for a while.

I smiled at him and I noticed that he was thinking of something. "Are you in pain? Do you need anything now?"

As always, he smiled back at me.

"Actually there,is."

________________

----

I hugged myself as I felt the cool breeze piercing through my skin. This work is driving me nuts! I then remembered the last conversation Simon and I had.

"I want you to look after Jayden for me."he directly said to me.

"What?What do you want me to do?" I'm a little confused where this conversation is going ah. Simon was shaken by what I said and didn't seem to know how to begin.

"Julie, I want you to break the wall surrounding him. I've been with Jayden for too long and I'm not sure when I will breathe my last breath. So please, before I leave this world, make sure he will accept the world has given him. Please make him live this second chance."

"And what will I get in return--"

"Anything you wanted."

Many think this is absurb but I can no longer refuse if Simon asks me like that. Also, the salary Simon will be giving is enough for me so I won't have to torture myself but Simon will kneel down just to make me agree and I can’t let him do that.

But…

this is surely an impossible task! I don't know much about Jayden so where do I start?

I looked up at the top of the hospital where I first saw Jayden. Simon told me that this is where Jayden spent most of his time because some people who are about to cross into the afterlife might see him.

Because most of them remember all the happy memories of their whole life so that is why they can see him.

Such a sad life, isn't it?

People who are happy will see him but him getting happy won't make people see him.

And the sad truth is plenty of people were into a lot of stuff this generation. Things that will make them stressed, depressed, irritated or can make them violent.

Jayden's situation is really difficult that even his smile is very different from a normal happy person.

Funny thought. He isn't normal, I almost forgot.

I don't know why I accepted this other job. My monthly salary was enough to pay my debts.The only thing I could think of why I should do this is that I see myself in Jayden. We're almost the same.We feel like we just wandering around, suffering on our own and carrying the burden with just ourselves. We do not belong anywhere in this world.

I immediately hugged myself when I stepped on the rooftop of the hospital. It is colder here than downstairs.

There is a garden here wherein, patients spent most of their time looking at the view of the city.I passed by the plants and they gave me a warm embrace even though the weather is too cold. They are like the fireflies in the middle of the woods, lighting up the foggy place.

Sheesh.

The leaves dance with the wind through endless songs of the night city.

Sounds like a song, huh?

Now I know why Jayden decided to stay here. This place can really give you a short time to have a peace of mind. You can think of many sudden thoughts.

I continued for a few more minutes walking around until I saw him.

He sat again on top of the railings and did not care if the wind blew him away. I called his name but he did not notice me and kept writing. I walk closer to him but he just did not pay attention so I thought to peek at what he was writing in his journal.

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