1 When it all started!!!

My name is Brad. Brad Tante. I live with my parents in a little village off the east cost called Pani town. We have lived here my whole life and it has come to a point where I cannot begin to imagine living anywhere else. on the overall, every one thinks I am a typical 16 year old guy with a somewhat good looks. I look a bit older than I actually am and this I find to be one of my good traits. My friends seem to also think I am well built well I don't think I can call them friends but classmates.

The reason I am recording all this is because I believe I have a disorder and I am hoping that writing each and every nitty gritty down shall help me find a way to solve it. This disorder I have is really scary....it makes me want to do things that would make any other normal humans cringe. I know I need help but I don't know who can help me without compromising my identity. This is a secret I may have to live with forever.

I first noticed this disorder during the physical education (PE) class. Our PE teacher was just demonstrating how to spike during a game of volleyball and then I started to imagine how good it would be to squeeze those jugs on her chest. I could hardly be blamed as those jugs looked so juicy bouncing up and down her pink tank top every time she spiked. I had lived my whole life without such impure thoughts but now they were evading my sanity. I was really having the urge to possess my PE teacher in all ways humanly possible. What would my father say if he found out his precious son had such thoughts.

My father is a minister in our local church and mom is a devout women leader in the church. It was by default that I would also end up serving in the same place so I lead the choir their. How would my fellow choir members feel about the urges that their leader was having??!