9 Chapter 9. Nine Chapter 9. Ten Years Later

'Dear Baby,

I am asking for forgiveness for what i am about to do. Forgive me for being weak and young. Having you is the greatest event in my life. But sadly, i have to give you up. Please understand me my love that giving you up does not mean that i dont want you. This is the only way that i could ensure that you will be provided with everything that you need. Your new parents will be able to give you what i cannot. Someday i will find you my baby and show you how much i love you. You are forever engraved in my heart. Love, Mommy Heline.'

Tears fell as i read back my long-lost letter. With my mom's passing, my brother Shaun and I went back to our old house and cleaned up all that we could. We have put the house on sale as my brother will be moving away for college the next day. I was rummanging my old room and found my letter tuck under the molded bed. I have written it more than 9 years ago when i was waiting to give birth. I sighed, folded it into half and slip it at the back pocket of my pants. I breath in and held on the pain. Feeling it. This is the most that I could for my baby. Feeling that pain of loss.

Hearing loud footsteps climbing the stairs, i quickly wiped my tears away.

"Penny for your thoughts?" Shaun placed a hand on my shoulder as he stood next to me. "How far had you gone down the memory lane?"

i chuckled and replied, "Far gone at the time Mom wildly knocking at my door to wake me up."

He laughed, "I thought the door's gonna be knocked down from her pounding."

I smiled. "I thought so too."

Shaun made his way to my old window, "So you're not gonna miss any of these?"

"Of couse i will." I said. "But i can't keep three houses Shaun."

He nodded, "So we're selling this house. What would you do with your other house?"

i sighed, "we're selling this house to buy you a new house and car at Cebu. I dont want you having to think of rent and commuting while studying." I looked at him as if its settled. "Besides this house is too far from Lunzuran to keep. The other house, i'll have someone rent it. So you have somewhere to live if you decide to settle here."

Shaun scoffed, "I can stay at your main house. You can't just live by yourself."

"Yes, i can and you will not do such a thing. I dont want my beauty rest be disturb every now and then by your girl fans," i teased.

he gave out a hearty laugh, then forced himself to look serious, "Really Heline, you have to have someone in your life again. I can't just leave you here. Alone."

i gave him a sweet smile, "I won't be alone any time soon."

"Are you taking Levin back or you having someone else?" he asked thoughtfully.

"I'm not Levin back," i exclaimed. "I'm never taking him back."

"So someone new?" he asked curiously. "Anyone i know?"

i laughed and went out of the room. He followed. "C'mon Heline. I can't just leave tomorrow, leaving you like that."

I continued on until i was out of the front door and he still follows. "Leaving me like what?"

He walked pass me and gestured to me, "Like that. Aloof with eyes full of sadness and bitterness."

I locked the door and proceeded to the sale sign and pretended fixing it. "I'm not aloof. I'm sad. Yes. Mom just died. Of course, i'll be sad but i am not bitter."

"You rejected every other guys who courted you," he said as a matter of fact.

i faced him, "i just dont want to have a man right now. I have lined up other plans."

"Not all men are like Levin Heline," he said.

"I know," i said brightly and forced a smile.

"Good," he said looking satisfied. "So what are these plans you have lined up."

I enumerated as i show him counting with my hands, "One, lease the adjacent house. Two, open Mirror, Mirror branch 5, and Three open PulseOil station 3. I think I'm quite covered for a couple of years or so."

Shaun's mouth hung open. "Those are business line ups. What have you lined up for yourself? Like a vacation, go shopping or getting a new boyfriend. Money you have it already sis. But i want you to look after yourself. Your well-being," he protested.

I fished for my car key and hook it with my finger. "I know," I sighed. "Fourth, I will look for him." My other hand slip for the old letter and showed it him.

Confused, he snatched it and reads. He shook his head, "I dont know sis. We dont even know to whom he was given and where they took him." he said as he handed me back my letter.

I dropped my letter in my handbag, wore my black shades and beeped open my car, "You just said that i have the money." I walked around the car to the driver's door, slip in the car and peek at him. "I will find him if it is the last thing i do. This is something that i will do for myself. I need to beg for his forgiveness."

Shaun raises his hand in surrender, "I just hope you know what you're doing. Just call me if you needed me home."

i nodded and rolled up the window and hit the gas.

The house is dark and empty when i arrived. I clicked on the switch and the lights of the living room came alive. I closed the door and activated the alarm security system. I now owned a 1,500sqm property with a-600sqm adjacent houses. Raising up to the ladder as a promised business consultant led open to offers of business opportunities. My first break was provided by a client, Mr. Ferdie Agustin, who seeks for a managing partner for his growing local gasoline station. He gave me the offer after being able to aid him launched his business successfully. Under my management, the business boomed leading to a second station in a nearby town. He then awarded me with a big bonus enough to start my own beauty spa offering beauty enhancements which i called "Mirror, Mirror." The spa grew for more than a year of operation, branching out up to four branches within the city. I then purchased the 1,500sqm property which used to be a ranch owned by one of the richest family at Belladine. Emmanuel Jerome Jr. put the ranch on sale when his father Emmanuel Jerome Sr. died two years ago. I initially thought that i could move in mom and Shaun at the adjacent house but mom fell terminally ill making her sensitive from all forms of transport. We decided to let mom stay at the old house which she wished with Shaun and a caregiver living with her. My visits become more frequent without Levin barking behind whenever i visit mom and Shaun.

Levin and I hooked up during our last year in college. With Kurt gone, his bestfriend was left behind by their friends leaving him going solo. Devasted as I am, i ended up going back to places that we go. Gemma couldn't do anything about me as she was always pulled away by Bruce. She never understands. Levin found me crying by the old oak tree and comforted me. Both alone, we ended up going through college. Gemma and I drifted apart as Levin and I grew closer. Our friendship blossoms romantically until we decided to move in together after graduation in a small apartment.

Living together at first was all cupcakes and rainbows until Levin showed off his true colors. He became possessive and jealous as my career blossoms. I was hardworking and determined to earn fast. I needed money to hire a detective and start looking for my baby. Good detectives done come cheap. I often accept overtime and went home late at night. Levin would furiously wait for my return and insist on the names of the men that i was with. i would patiently reason with him that i was working. he would draw into a fit and smashed everything that he could reach. i would clean up everything after he is exhausted and falls asleep on the floor, drunked.

I accepted his behaviour as i admit that i have not given him attention as i should. one day, i decided to surprise him. i took the afternoon off, bought some good wine and went home. I wanted to surprise him so i passed through the back door. i easily get in as the alarm system was shut off. I took off my shoes and left my bag at the couch. Barefooted, i proceeded to our room with a bottle of wine on one hand and a glass on another. the door was slightly open. i stopped short as i heard loud moaning and the bed creaking. My blood boiled as it sink into me what i am about to see. kicking the door wide open, a young naked woman was on top of naked Levin. Levin paled and immediately wrapped himself with a blanket. The woman covered herself with pillows. The bottle of wine slipped and shattered on the floor with some shards hitting my foot. Levin quickly grabbed the first aid kit from a near drawer and attempted to near me. I stepped back. I winced in pain.

"Heline, let me fix you," he said softly. The woman's eyes grew open as i bend down and manually pulled a shard from my injured foot. Blood ooze and Levin bend down to reach for my foot.

I pulled my foot away and stepped back. He looked up at me, "You're hurt."

I glared at him and said bitterly, "You think a small wound would hurt more than what you just did?"

"I-I...," he stuttered as he stand up.

I turned around and coldly said, "I never want to see you again,". Limping i left Levin and rode a taxi back to my mom.