Lonely

Harumi had no idea what was happening around her. It felt like she was getting avoided like the plague by Nobunaga and most of the warlords. Her maids also had no idea what was happening. That wasn't the only thing that changed. Her workload decreased significantly. After she had defended the castle she got more responsibilities but Nobunaga took them away a while ago. Saying that it wasn't work for a lady. But now even the things she had to do beforehand were nowhere to be found. Before she got more responsibilities there were still smaller matters she had to handle regarding the castle and stuff but now even those tasks were nonexistent. The only thing she was suppose to do were poetry, embroidery, flower arranging and playing music. She sucked at all of them. She never seemed to find the right words to make beautiful poetry like others could. The pieces were she practiced embroidery on were stained with her blood due to all the mishaps with the needle and the embroidery itself was always crooked. The flowers never bended in the way she wanted it and more often than not she accidentally snapped the stems in half when she tried to bend them. And worst off all was her trying to play a musical instrument. She had chose the zither, thinking that it would be easy to learn. Harumi had never been more wrong in her life. She had been practicing for almost every day for the last seven months and she still wasn't able to hit even one clean note. It was actually quite miraculous how bad she was. The ones who had it the hardest were Harumi's maids. Sometimes when she made an especially horrible sound she was scared their ears would bleed.

Harumi knew that people though that she was pretty useless, due to her lack in skills a woman ought to have. They didn't say it to her face, but she knew. She found it stupid. So what that she couldn't do those useless skills. Why would she need them anyway? She had other strong points. She was way more proficient in managing things and calculating stuff. It frustrated her tremendously that the work she had actually been good at and enjoyed were now taken away from her.

Harumi made a small walk trough the castle while her maids were all busy with tidying up her quarters. Some maids cleaned a room together while they were happily talking to each other and from outside Harumi could hear the yells and loughs from the soldiers that were training there. She couldn't remember a time when she had felt this lonely. In the beginning, when she came to the past, she also didn't have much companions but at that time she didn't wanted them. She couldn't care less that Nobunaga never came to visit. Hell, she even liked it! But now. Nobunaga only came by her quarters sporadicly and she hadn't seen Hidemasa in a while. When Nobunaga came to visit, it was only for a short while and he didn't talk much. It was completely different than the last couple of months. Was he still upset about what happened a while ago when they shared a kiss for the first time? The only people who still kept her company were her maids. She felt like she was isolated from the world. As if she lived in her own bubble, trying so hard to get out but impossible for her to do so.