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New job.

After getting Alice and Leah all settled in. Alice has decided she wanted to do some fashion stuff with Fluer and it's not like I don't own a mall in diagon alley. Leah like to learn about the animals with Luna I was indeed correct that we had new 'rescues' in a bedroom that had been magically expanded and turned into a strange forest by the blonde pudding addict.

Jane has taken to training with Bella and getting acquainted with magical law. With her insane computing speed she was picking things up quite nicely. I had also taught her occulmency which made her mental abilities all the more terrifying. If it was like holding a blow torch to your nerves before now it was ten times worse and you couldn't even pass out from the pain. It was like a crucio in mental form.

They all loved the new house and I already had the perfect mission for Bellatrix and Jane. Their mission was to rob the volturi blind. With Jane knowing all the information about the ancient vampires and Bellatrix having powerful magic it was sure to be fun. If they killed any of them off that was just a bonus. Bellatrix was just excited to go out and play.

In other news my next assignment was coming from someone I was not expecting to see and I couldn't really turn down.

Sitting in my office I was looking over some tips about some wanted criminals smuggling dragon eggs I was eager to get my hands on. Who doesn't want to own a dragon? When I heard a cough and looked up to see the scariest shit.

It was a person with a pitch black cloak and a skeletal visage carrying a scythe and hour glass.

"The fuck?"

"Usually that's not the response someone gives when meeting death." A hoarse voice answers.

"Aww cmon your not even a hot death. I was expecting like a big tittied goth girl." I say in disappointment.

"That's also not a common response." The voice says with its flaming eyes flickering in confusion.

"Ugh what do you need. If it's some kind of master of death task or something it better have good pay." I say eyeing the Skeleton in disappointment.

"Well I do indeed have a task. I have also paid for your contract so it counts as good pay." Death says.

"Depending on the situation I may decline or ask for a raise. So inform me of the situation." I ask.

"Honestly this is all throwing me off my game man I expected more fear and idk begging or something?" The skeleton says with a sigh.

"And I expected a big tittied goth death we don't always get what we asked for." I counter.

"Fair enough." The skeleton says. "I need you to save a couple of realms from destruction." The skeleton drops a bombshell on me.

"That's going to need a substantial raise and more explanation please." I say pulling out my notepad even the girls are listening in shock.

"Your job is to stop Tom Riddle from doing a multitude of things or atleast try to kill him off." It says.

"Okayyyy explain those multitude of things?" I wave my hand.

"Summoning an army of demons to ravage earth, looting the fairies of their magic, gaining time space abilities and slaughtering multiple worlds becoming nigh unstoppable." It counts off on its fingers.

"And I'm supposed to go in as?" I need more information.

"The beaten and abused squib son of lily and James Potter. You have a twin brother who is mistaken as the chosen one and he fucks up absolutely everything. Your magical core was drained in Toms attacks on you and you tried absorbing the magical energy from your brother. He has a scar on his face from some crib shrapnel that dumbledore thought was the mark of toms attack. Meanwhile he classified you as a squib and James being a dickhead lord shipped you off to live with the Dursley's. Vernon Dursley being drunk one night actually beats your counterpart to death and dumps your dead body in a river." Death says like it's no big deal.

"So do I have any lordships?" I ask death.

"Your heir title was stripped of you and given to your brother they won't even know your dead for ohhhhh 8 more years." Death counts off on its fingers.

"So you want to waltz my ass in to basically an upcoming warzone against demons and fairy and what I assume is some god level voldemort. By the way does he even have the same horcruxes?" I ask to make sure.

"No he has different ones and I'm not allowed to tell you what they are." Death says sweating internally.

"I'll have none of my rituals done and I'll be in a broken pretty much dead body?" I ask again.

"Yes." Death replies.

"Your trying to fuck me over aren't ya?" I say with narrowed eyes.

"Wha? No I seriously need your help as I can't interfere and I don't have any other way to deal with the problem." It says waving its boney hands around.

"What do I get as compensation? Your asking for a whole lot here and not really giving me anything in return." I say seriously.

"Uh I can grant you emancipation?" Death says cheaply.

"You want a fucking beating don't ya?" I reach for my gun.

"Wait wait! Uhhhhh. I'll transfer the consciousness of one no two people too assist you!" It shouts as my finger gets closer to the trigger.

"Really gods are so cheap nowadays. I want something big when the job is done or I swear to god I'll find some way to make your life miserable." I say putting my gun away and debating on who could help me the most.

"Can the goblins be trusted?" I ask death.

"No."

"Can dumbledore be trusted?"

"No."

"Can any of the potters be trusted? I'm pretty sure they fucked me over big time." I say with a sigh.

"Maybe."

"I will fucking shoot you. You know this right?" I pull out my gun again.

"Lily didn't want to give you away it was more of James deciding it on his own. Plus dumbledore reinforcing the idea you were a squib and you'd be safe." Death explains.

"See this is how you explain things." I say before getting ready for my new job.

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