1 Chapter 1

One by one, they were all marching into the house of worship attire in their very best and looking very dignified!

Whatever that looked like!

While the passionate sounds of the preacher man could be heard from way into the distance encouraging souls; young and old to come to Christ. So he could deliver them from their sins, set them free from all their ailments and reserve for them a place in salvation!

"Come to Christ, he will heal you!"

Were the agonizing sounds of the preacher man!

"Come to Christ, he will make away where there is no other way!"

"Come to Christ, so he will fix that cheating husband of yours and that whoring wife who promise to love you and cherish you, throughout life!"

"Come to Christ, so he will open doors that are closed and closed doors that are open, causing the many problems in your life to disappear!

"I don't care what you look like, I want you to come to Christ!"

"If you are ugly come!"

"If you think you are the hottest think on the block, come!"

"If you have your own teeth, your own hair, your own nails and your own eyes and face; come!

"And if you don't have your own hair, your own nails or your own teeth inside your mouth, still come!"

"Christ will still accept you regardless of your faults, failure and fornicating behaviors; just come!

"If you are a drug pusher; come!"

"If you are a theft, still come... Brother Steve, please keep a close eye on the offering basket for me, I beg you please!"

"If you are a murderer come to Christ; just don't murder anybody while you're in my church!"

"If you are a rum belly or a wine head, still come to Christ!"

If you love harlotry and harlotry loves you back, still come to Christ, only he is able to set you free!"

"If you're finger fairing and have trouble with your tongue; come to Christ; he will deliver you of that gossiping tongue and that lying spirit you have buried deep inside of you!"

"If you are a man and you love sleeping with other men, come!

"And if you are a woman and you love sleeping with other women, still come to Christ; he will pardon you!"

"Whatever your evil deeds and your sinful apparatus, come to Christ and he will save you from them all"

Were the ongoing declaration of the preaching man many called Reverent Ron who stood on the pulpit every Sunday morning; encouraging the good, the bad, and the ugly to come to Christ!

And for those who saw him as an unlearned man, a former man of the streets, pushing pills, pimps and prostitutes, he would usually turn his head away from them when they try finding seat amongst his congregations while he yelled out on the top of his lungs...

"If you think you're too good to be here; there is the door! And don't let the door knot hit you where the good lord have split you!"

"Because, if you are here to be seen with your braggadocios self and pull this microphone out of my hands, you have something else coming!"

"Sister Jonson, did you walk with your knife today?"

"Because I know, you don't play and you never leave your house without putting that knife inside your purse. And I also know I can depend on you to defend me up in here!"

Pastor Ron would continue on, laughingly!

While Sister Jonson who usually sits at the end, on the third row of benches a few feet away from the pulpit, stood up and declared to the entire congregation that indeed, she had walked to church with her knife that Sunday morning. Because one can never be too careful even when coming into the house of the Lord.

Her comment had caused a sudden outburst of laughter from the congregation who were repeatedly convicted with the words, "No matter your situation; come to Christ" as some sat in the pew while others approach the wide open doors of the huge white church building and were ushered to their seats.

Still standing, Sister Jonson went on to broadcast to the congregation that she will never leave home without her knife, since she is a senior citizen who many believed had a world of cash in her bag coming to church with.

And furthermore, by the time she calls for help and the police arrives, the crooks robbing her money would be long gone! But with her knife, she could use it to slow them down a bit, or make it easier for identifying them. Because, with two jabs on their bodies with her knife when the cops caught up with them, she could easily point them out by where she had stab then with her knife.

For the first time comers, to the flock, this was quite shocking to hear, especially, coming from an old woman's mouth who was looking very dainty and sophisticated. And many were now intrigued to find out what next would be revealed from the mouths in the massive congregation.

Soon after unveiling the truth about her arming herself with her weaponry, Reverent Ron spoke, bringing an air of contradiction to the elderly woman's revelation.

"Sister Jonson, I must honestly say, you give this church the biggest tithes and offerings that I know of, and I can feel assured that whenever you walk through these doors of Heavenly Waters, the light and water bills will be paid for, and food will definitely be on my plate!"

For a moment Sister Jonson stared at the reverent in great disbelief while contemplating to herself that Reverent Ron had just told the entire audience that she had money, and quite plenty of it. Therefore, she could afford to pay for the utilities of the church building, and also, put food on his table which every; could never be a small one!

Now everyone in the congregation was quite aware that she had plenty of the "Benjamin's" and that she also armed herself with a knife whenever she was heading out of her house for church.

Feeling a sense of disappointment and disbelief, Sister Jonson pulled her knife from her purse, ran towards the pulpit with it and began dangling it in front of Reverent Ron's face. Exclaiming to him that she was going to stop giving the church her money to pay for the utilities or give him offering, so he and his hungry belly children could eat well.

Believing that she would really harm him in front of the entire congregation, Reverent Ron hurryingly made his way through the back door of the church, race to his office and locked himself inside his office until word came to him that it was now safe for him to return to the pulpit.

Many in the congregation couldn't believe their eyes!

While some were rushing to the front area of the pew to get a glimpse of what the elderly woman looked like!

Not wanting to be every body's spectacle, Sister Jonson flicked her ratchet knife back into its safety mood, placed it inside her purse, and exited the church building without even looking back to see if others were following her!

On the outside of the church, all who knew her and loved her; began asking her where was she going especially since the church service hadn't even started as yet?

And in her state of vexation, Sister Jonson responded that she was very pissed off with Reverent Ron, for announcing to the whole congregation, whenever she walked through the church doors, he knew, she had enough money to pay off all the utility bills of the church and feed him and his children.

"That was not something for him to broadcast to the entire church knowing that it's almost pure strangers inside there who might want to follow me home. Or, possible come by my house and kick down my doors presuming that I have a lot of money at home waiting to bring to the church!"

Sister Jonson vented loudly!

It was Sister Hyacinth, one of the very active mothers of the church and who had known Sister Jonson for a very long time and also knew of her many good deeds towards the Heavenly Waters Pentecostal Church. Who had opened her hands widely embracing the petite elderly woman; soothing away her hurt and pain until her joy had been restored and her spirit became calm.

However, sister Jonson decided that she wouldn't return to the inside of the church and seat herself on the third row of the pew like she was accustom to doing, but instead, she would place herself on one of the benches way in the back of the church, and out of Reverent Ron's sight.

Since her heart was still very heavy and quite against the actions displayed by Reverent Ron earlier on, in front the entire church congregation Sister Jonson contemplated on not giving too much of her hard working pension funds to the advancement of the many operations for Reverent Ron growing congregation.

So she quietly seated herself in the far-back of the church, amongst the many wrong doers who were selling illegal drugs and sipping on liquor inside the church building amongst the noisy congregation shouting, hallelujah!

The gathering flock was just about spiritually settled after the choir had just finishing singing a soul touching hymnal to welcome Reverent Ron back to the congregation. It was his cue, to let him know it was now time for him to bring the Biblical word to the waiting flock... words which would spiritually encourage most of them for the week, and others, a day or two!

Out of his street clothing, Reverent Ron swiftly marched onto the church podium dress in a black gown with a monogram of the cross stitched from his neck all the way down to his feet, at the front of it, while his coverless bible was in one hand, and the microphone in the other hand as he shouted into it.

"Stand on your feet and give the lord a praise!"

"Now look to the person next to you; whether you have your teeth or not; smile at them and say, God is going to do something new in my life today!"

Like trained sheep, they all obeyed, even though, some were embarrass to carry out the simple task of smiling. Knowing that the persons they were smiling with would only be staring at toothless only gums or a mouth filled with many missing teeth and many cavities.

However, they all followed suit, because the "Man of god" had bid them to do so, although, they weren't sure what that new thing was or when it would ever materialize in their lives.

And before Reverent Ron could open his bible and read from it, the word of the day, he turned his attention to Sister Jonson once again while looking out in the audience to see if she was still sitting at the third row of the pew; her usual spot.

Happy for him, she wasn't seated there. But little did he know, she was still inside the church comfortably sitting all the way in the back row of the church; ready to take in everything that would be coming out of his mouth.

Not seeing her immediate presence anywhere in the congregation, the preacher man, began lashing out to the congregation about his faithful church member, Sister Jonson.

"Sister Jonson his now vex with me, because I told the truth; but a pity, she doesn't know that her big money will not get her to heaven or allow her any big position in this church! So if any of you think that you are going to come inside this church with you big envelops full of cash, and then think; you automatically can tell me what to do, then you might as well just turn around and head back straight through the doors!"

"Because, I'm the reverent pastor of this church and no one is going to tell me what to do while I'm in charge of running this congregation because they are wealthy and I am not!"

Reverent Ron vented!

"Sister Jonson is a generous giver to the church and has been coming to this church ever since she was a child; I'm told! But, as you all witnessed, she still has the devil inside of her... chasing after the pastor of the church with a knife! All the way on the pulpit which is supposed to be a place of reverence in this church or any other church... she is crazy!"

Reverent Ron continued to expel from his fiery tongue!

Everyone in the congregation now began staring at each other with suspicious eyes while others began nudging at each other with their elbows suggesting affirmation of the reverent words.

Even though, others with reasonable senses, believed that he was absolutely at fault and saw it as him disrespecting his church member and being unappreciative of the elderly woman's generosity to the church he was supposed to be overseeing and also to him.

The chattering sounds of whispers in the congregation could be heard everywhere around the church building. While Reverent Ron still standing on the pulpit wondering if he had said too much and if what he was saying was of the "holy spirit" or his babbling mouth!

But, since he was recently ordained in that church and new to the congregation, and he wanted to lead the church in a different direction than it had been going for many years. And felt that the very season many church members who has been there for what seems like an eternity and some who were sitting on as various board members of the church would disagree with the direction he intended on leading the organization.

However, he wanted Sister Jonson and those like her who were accustom to giving the church almost half of their monthly pension and were also their practice to silence the voice of any new comers to the church, would know that he was fully in charge now. And that he was very capable of leading the congregation without them constantly budding in every decision he was attempting to make or saw fitting for the church to move forward in the direction he wanted to direct it to.

But Reverent Ron, wasn't quite done deliberating on Sister Jonson case; hoping that her, and those like her, would get the full picture of what he was proclaiming from the pulpit to them.

"I'm not telling anybody to leave the church; if you want to leave; that is solely up to you, and it only tells me that you wanted to leave and go somewhere else, a long time a go!"

Reverent Ron stated.

"What I'm telling all of you today is that things are going to be different around here from now on, and no way your money; no matter how big or small it might be. It will not give you any authority to tell me what to do or how to carry-out the functions and affairs of the Heavenly Waters congregation, Amen!"

"So, if any of you want to follow Sister Jonson foot-steps; I'm not holding you back... go straight ahead!"

Reverent Ron directed firmly!

In the meantime, the well-dressed woman everyone refer to as; Sister Jonson, at the Heavenly Waters Pentecostal Church, stood up from amongst the congregation with one bag over her shoulder and her purse clutch under her arm and step by step, she made her way from between the pews of the church with tears bubbling in her eyes.

Reverent Ron was shock to see her, still there!

He didn't know that she was still there - still amongst the flock of the Heavenly Waters congregation!

Seeing her, slowly making her way from between the pews Reverent panic; believing that she was coming at him with the knife again!

And in the midst of his frightening anticipation, Reverent Ron shouted into the microphone!

"Sister Jonson, if you make one foot-step to this church rostrum, I am going to call the police and have them arrest you; you hear me!"

By now, Sister Jonson was standing in the dead center of the church isle, very up-set, but had her eyes dead focus on Reverent Ron face as if her mean stares could knock him out, right there on the podium. But, her strength wasn't to tussle and argue with the so call "Man of God" but was reserve for her to find her way home and sleep off the strange humiliation she had encountered in the place of worship which she had been attending from her eyes were at her knees!

But, before she made her way through the massive church doors which she had spent many years keeping clean and polishing to appease and welcome new members to the flock, she had one word of advice to deliver to Reverent Ron; and without lingering or any hesitancy she blurted out!

"Never you bite the hands that feed you; you ungrateful son of a bitch!"

With those words emitted from her tongue, for the entire church to hear, Sister Jonson made her way through the doors of the Heavenly Waters Pentecostal Church without looking back!

Her words of profanity and sudden departure had caused uproar of oops and awes among the alarming congregation while some felt that her words were justifiable uttered. And didn't really care to cast any further judgment upon her as she left the church building.

Still clutching the microphone in his hand and body leaned against the shiny oak podium, Reverent Ron held the microphone to his mouth and shouted...

"Thank you Jesus; one more demon has finally left the building!"

Causing an outburst of laughter by many and a scandalous and appalling uproar by others seated in the congregation.

With the trickling down of laughter, Reverent Ron went back to business, and so he began praying with wild eyes searching the crowded room, for what I possible thought he was looking for more demons.

"Lord, give me the strength to pray out of your church every wizard and warlock; and every voodoo priest and goddesses, every crafty-works and manipulation of your Holy Spirit; in Jesus name I pray, and let the church say, Amen and Amen!"

Not seeing a single soul getting up and leaving out of the church building; Reverent Ron was now ready to turn the pages of the bible to find the scripture of the day's sermon!

Deciding to read from 1 Corinthian 13: 1-3

"Though, I speak with the tongues of men and of angels; and have not charity, I become as sounding brass or a tinkling cymbal.

And though I have the gift of prophecy, and understand all mysteries, and all knowledge, and though I have all faith; so as to remove mountains, and have not charity, I am nothing!

And though, I bestow all my goods to feed the poor, and give my body to be burned, and have not charity, it profit me nothing!"

Concluding the scriptures from his Bible, Reverent Ron looked into the audience and softly uttered;

"Here ends the reading of God's Holy word!"

While many in the congregation shouted out a big mighty Amen and others resorted to, behaving as if; they were literally being burned with the holy-ghost fire as they screamed on the top of their lungs and began speaking in unknown languages.

But, Reverent Ron was ready to give them something new for sure!

And instead of elaborating on the text or building a message stemming from what he had just red like most clergy men usually do; the preacher man looked to the side and called out to his side man who was the bearer of many titles. Bidding him to bring the offering baskets from the basement of the church; so as to start collecting the offerings, tithing, and any other funds that would be needed to carry out the daily operations, of the Heavenly Waters Pentecostal Church.

Seconds later, Brother Steve who was known to be treasurer, usher, armor-bearer and deacon in the church among other things; was back from the basement of the church carrying in his hands around ten straw baskets. And ready to hand those out to the nurses of the church who were known to play the role of an usher in the church and also attend to the pastor's personal needs.

Even though, some people had come prepared to give, others weren't, and began digging in their purses for whatever change they could muster to place inside the baskets; so they could obtained that newness that Reverent Ron had proclaimed them.

The choir seated behind Reverent Ron was dead quiet and realizing the silence behind him, he turned around at them with bulging eyes and shouted...

"All the songs in the hymnal are still there; so can you all please, find something and sing while the congregation prepare their tithes and offerings for the baskets!"

With an attitude, he turned away from the choir and now his face was back to the audience and he began declaring to them that they had no love for their God, or else, they would have prepared the little that they have for him from the night before, or before they had left their houses this morning.

And before the church choir began their selection, Reverent Ron began declaring to the flock that most of them were born late and they will spend their entire lives being late for everything.

Somewhat amused by his own words, he began laughing out loud as he went on to say with much humor.

"Some of you inside here; are going to be late for your new jobs, your wedding and even for your own funerals! But one thing I must tell you all right now! Don't be late for your wedding or your funeral and then have me up on this hot podium waiting to send you off to your spouse or to your creator!"

"Because I'm not sticking around in no hot church and waiting to bless none of you all... then again, by that time you will all install an air condition on the rostrum for your pastor; so he doesn't scorch to death from all the heat emanating through these zinc ceilings!"

Many in the flock found his comment to be amusing while others just sat there with a stiff neck, a stiff face, and stiff lips, not showing any inclination, they were tickled by his jovial or funny personality.

The choir was now singing loudly and harmoniously the words "Blessed Be Your Name Oh Lord" while one by one each person from the pews began marching up to the alter vigorously, to give whatever they had for the Lord in tithes and offering.

Very soon four of the offering baskets were filled to the brim with cash, checks and envelopes containing the same; causing Brother Steve to hurryingly grab them away from the ushers hands, handed them new sets of baskets then raced to the basement to lock away all that they had already collected from the generous flock.

Minutes later, the other baskets too were also filled up with money and was brought to the basement and securely locked away from interfering hands.

The choir was now silent and Reverent was now announcing for anyone with any spare change still in their hand bags, that they wanted to give to the church must please come now and give it to one of the ushers or Brother Steve, so that can receive their new blessings from the lord.

With no one else volunteering to bring their spare change to the last offering basket available, Brother Steve disappeared from off the scene and was nowhere to be found until the clock strike twelve-thirty, and Reverent Ron raced to the basement of the church and began banging on his tiny office door.

Seeing the disappointing look on Brother Steve's face, Reverent Ron knew exactly what that meant... the collection quota didn't reach the expected amount!

And with that revelation being realized, Reverent Ron slammed the tiny office door to Brother Steve's office, in his face, raced back to the podium and began declaring to the flock to bring all that they had at home, into the house of the Lord; next Sunday morning.

"Many of you have plenty of gold, silver and many other jewelry at home that you haven't touched for years and will never wear in this life time or the next; well, I summon you, bring them into the house of the Lord and see the new thing that he will do in your life!"

"Some of you are unable to get your breakthrough, simply because, you fail to let go off the stuff you have at home which is only pulling you down!"

"You cannot be charitable and still holding on to stuff some fool bought you some ten or fifteen years ago... let me tell you a secret, the sentiments in that thing has gone a long time ago, just like the man or woman who had given it to you!"

Many were now convicted by his words and were now on their feet waving handkerchiefs and tiny rags as they shout.

"Preach Reverent Ron, Preach!"

Some shouted.

"Hallelujah, I know he is talking about me right now!"

While others did their merry dance, as if, they had already gotten their breakthrough from his spoken words.

Seeing the church fanatics leaping from their pews and dancing in the isle of the church like they were at a street dance, Reverent Ron felt assured that he had somehow touched some soulful nerves, and was now expecting to receive an overflow of valuables coming his way at the following Sunday morning ceremony.

Feeling confident with that assurance of abundance gracing his collection baskets soon, Reverent Ron signaled to the choir to start singing something lively... a chorus that was full of rhythm that would keep the flock dancing; because according to him, he was having church service and not conducting a funeral.

At the end of the lively chorus, Reverent Ron pronounced the benediction over the congregation, ran back to the basement to meet with Brother Steve Cunningham about the precise counting of the collection which had him very worried

But, there inside his tiny office, Reverent Ron found Brother Steve with hands stuck inside his pockets, face red like ripe tomatoes, and sorrowfully weeping.