28 Apology

The next morning I woke to the sound of my phone ringing. Groggily, I lifted my head and looked to my left where it lay. Next to my bed was a small nightstand with an alarm clock that read 5:20.I sighed heavily, I felt like I was sinking deeply into my bed. I was still heavy with the emotion. I didn't want to lift my arm and reach the ten inches to capture my phone. I figured the text was from my mother. I knew her flight would have landed by now. I didn't feel ready to share my grief with anyone. Solitude felt peaceful because I didn't have to except the house was gone. The fire felt like a violation. It should never of happened but it did.I wondered, do all the people feel the way that I feel. If I go back to sleep now I won't have to think about this any more. I closed my eyes hoping for sleep to fill me again. Instead images the flames blaze through my mind. My eyes snapped open as a memory came to my mind of the day I returned home from the first day of sixth grade. After a long summer I was thrilled to go to school and see all of my friends. I didn't think it would be any different from grade school. I was wrong, nearly all of the girls that I've been friends with abandoned me. I felt left out of all of their activities. All of them became athletes and at that time I was not athletic. I didn't even know that I could be an athlete. At the time my body still felt small and awkward. I didn't have much muscle mass or fat. I no longer shared their interests and they knew that I didn't fit in with them. It was difficult for me to cope. When I came home from school, I cried in my fathers arms. I promised him that I would never return to school again. This was the end of the world for me. I remember he chuckled softly, and held me tight.

When I finally calmed down he took my hand and gently reminded me of who I was raised to be. His exact words were you're not my daughter if you wallow in your sorrow. Instead, I needed to think of my next step. The next day I went to school with a better attitude, I joined the orchestra and the track team. I didn't let my physique stop me and I worked really hard to win my races. In my efforts, I made new friends and forgot about the others. My next step right now was to get myself out of bed. I sat up and stretched. My eyes were swollen and crusted. My head ached as I removed the covers and placed two feet onto shagged carpet. A soft knock tapped twice on my door. I dressed hurriedly from my immodest pajamas, which were a pair of silk shorts and a matching cami. I chose the first thin in my drawer, a pair of jeans and station shirt. My mom was finally here, I thought as I quickly opened the door.

"Good morning sunshine," Adonis stood before me holding out a small Bundt cake. As I took it, I read the word SORRY in large letters. Why would he write on this kind of cake?

"Didn't you already send apology flowers last night?" I asked confusedly. Ushering him into the kitchen where the heavy arrangement gleamed. Some of the begonias had wilted slightly because some of the water evaporated. I set the cake down and added more water to the bouquet.

"You must have some other stud after you, those are not from me. Where did you get those?" He smirked, it was his half smile of his that made my heart melt. Looking at him made honey drip from my eyes. Nervously he put his hand on his neck awaiting my answer.

"Other? It's not like anyone's after me," I said bitterly, "They were left on the birch last night. I thought they were from you."

"Yes 'other'. If I were to get you flowers, I'd want you to know and I wouldn't pick anything yellow. You don't even like any of these you like calla lilies." He looked off awkwardly as if he gave too much information. He fidgeted nervously for a moment. These gestures made my heart pound. My face flushed and I turned away. I tried to pretend I was getting some water for myself from the faucet. He made me feel weak when he knew my favorite flowers. I had never told him I liked them.

"How do you know I like calla lilies, what if I prefer roses," I probed in an even tone. I glanced at him briefly, he was looking down. He shifted his weight from foot to foot. Glass in hand, I turned to the counter he leaned against. My body faced his as he stood sideways to me, with my left hand I held the glass, the other I placed on the counter top.

"I asked your mom, I didn't know how to apologize for acting like a baby. My dad taught me to never apologize empty handed," he mumbled softly.

"I see, so why the cake and not the flowers?"

"Your mom said that the cake might make you laugh. She said to write something funny but I didn't know what to say." He turned his body and leaned his hip onto the counter. His arm stiffly folded against his chest.

"The fact that you brought me a Bundt cake that you had frosted with the word sorry makes this apology hilarious. Why of all cakes would you pick one with a giant hole in the middle and then write on it. The bakery probably thought you were nuts!" I laughed, he seemed to slowly smile and his whole body relaxed. He let one hand fall to his side, the other he placed on the counter a few inches from mine. I could cross the distance and hold his warmth in my palm. His scent invaded my senses. It was intoxicating and impossible to focus on anything but his lips.

"I didn't think liked a lot of frosting because you picked half of it off the cake for Smith's farewell. I figured this was safer than a frosted cake. Anyway I'm sorry for being a jerk." He looked at me softly, his hand crossed the three inch distance with his hand and held mine. Instinctively I moved closer but only slightly. My heart pounded.

"Listen I think we should talk-" I began. There was a soft knock at the door. Terrible timing, I thought. Adonis took a giant leap back as the front door opened to reveal my mother and Tom.

"Oh hey kids! Glad to see you spending time together,l She chirped as she looked over us, "Was...there something going on, you're both red?"