17 001

Dear (Y/N),

I'm so sorry.

I know you told me not to,but the has veen before i was such a dickhead to you.

I'm an idiot,and I know I'm right by that.

A week passed and I wondered where you are.

You didn't came to school and I was worried,even though I told myself that I shouldn't be.

I really believed her that you've done those things,I really should have known better.

I walked over to your house,on my way I already felt that something must be wrong.

As I stood in front of your house,that feeling became even stronger.

It seemed empty.

I rang your bell,but the house answered with silence.

I knocked on the door and windows,but again all the house had to answer was silence.

Your neighbor walked over,he knew me because of all the times I visited you before.

He stood next to me,I was just about to say something when he already gave me the answer to my silent question.

,, Don't you know? They moved,last Friday. I really thought the young girl told you. Aren't you two dating?"

I couldn't believe his words.

I didn't even knew how to feel.

I was so angry and sad that I just ran down the street,I don't know but it felt like some part of me thought you would be standing there.

I went home.

My own house felt much colder than when you were still here.

It felt like you were dead.

I was quite coming home,my parents noticed and I asked me what happened.

,,(Y/N) moved."

I said,my body felt numb.

,, You didn't know? We already wondered why she wasn't coming over anymore,did you two fight?"

I asked them if they really knew,they said they did.

Your parents called us and asked if you could stay with us?

They knew my sister moved out for college and there would be a free room and my parents agreed.

But you decide to move with them,it was a few days after your parents called mine.

I feel like it was my fault that you left.

I fell in love with someone else,and after reading all your letters of you confessing your love,it must have changed your decision.

I really thought I loved her,but I broke up with Heather.

My parents gave me the small box with your letters a few hours later.

When they came in my room to give it to me,I was sitting on my bed and just staring at the wall.

At this point I already broke up with her.

My mother sat next to me and gave the box to me.

,,(Y/N) begged me to give this to you after a week she left. I don't know what it is but she said it's very important to her."

As she layed the periwinkle colored box in front of me I couldn't hold back my tears.

She gave me a big hug and left after I calmed down a little.

I thought all of my stuff you still had was in there,but the box was definitely to small for that.

I smiled at those words of mine.

My hands shook as I opened it and took out the 15 letters.

As soon as I saw your handwriting I started tearing up again.

I would recognize your handwriting all over the world.

I started reading. It took me about an hour to finish them all.

God forbid me.

I was such an asshole.

As I said already,I thought I loved heather but I didn't to be honest.

She just seemed like you by her good looks,the way she spoke; someone everyone would want to be.

And I know you would hit me for saying those words because you can't take compliments.

Everytime I think about you my heart hurts.

It's so full of holes but still so heavy.

I wish I was more than just Lee Taeyong,an egoistic asshole who knew what you felt but searched for someone else to not having to fear to loose you.

I wish I was strong enough to tell you.

I wish I was strong enough to care for you the way you deserved.

I'm writing you this letter because I can't live a life without you and I die a thousand deaths everyday you're not around.

I hope you don't hate me enough to text me again.

I tried texting and calling you,but you even changed your phone number and deleted your instagram acc.

And I deleted our pictures because I'm a dumbass and I hate myself so much for that.

Please text me again: xxxxxxx

Your Lee Taeyong,

I love you

a/n: the next chapter will be the last