4 Only One Step Away

Xu Ai never turned around until she reached her dormitory. 

That was the first time she turned away in front of Lin Shen. Tears were about to burst out at that moment, but she somehow managed to hold them back. 

Even though she had a crush on Lin Shen, she still had her pride. 

She reached her dorm room numbly and pushed open the door. The door was unlocked and opened with one gentle push. She heard sobbing sounds when the door opened and stood there in surprise. 

It was already dusk, and almost every dorm room had the lights on. Her dorm room, however, was pretty dark. There was someone lying face-down on the bed near the window, which was where the sobbing sounds were coming from.

Four people resided in that dorm room, but there was only one person in there. It was her roommate, Zhang Xiaowen. 

Xu Ai hesitated before stepping inside. She closed the door, turned on the light switch, walked towards her, and called out her name, "Lil' Wen?"

Zhang Xiaowen paused for a second and then cried out in agony.

Xu Ai looked at her for a while and lowered her voice. "What's wrong?"

Zhang Xiaowen shook her head while lying on her stomach with her voice quivering. "You don't have to mind me, Xu Ai. I just want to cry. Go mind your own beeswax!"

Xu Ai nodded. They were adults. They all carry our own baggage that they want to cry over, right? Zhang Xiaowen's baggage was probably just as bad as hers. She wasn't in the mood to console someone, so she moved to her own bed. 

Even though she had slept for an entire day at the hotel, she still lied down. 

She felt unusually serene while listening to Lil' Wen's broken cries. 

She was a university freshman when she first had a crush on Lin Shen. She didn't even know what love was at that time. During the past three years, she approached him, accompanied him, and walked by his side all along. Although they weren't best friends who shared each other's secrets, they had an incomparable-level of tacit understanding with each other. He couldn't care less about the gossip about them, and she acted like she didn't hear anything either. She always thought their relationship was only one step away.

Only one step away!

Too bad that the final step seemed harder than climbing to the moon. 

It was evident that they would never get past the final step!

He created a chasm, and she dug another chasm! 

Lil' Wen stopped crying and suddenly talked, "Ai-Ai, go to the hospital with me tomorrow!"

"You're sick?" Xu Ai tilted her head to the side and looked at her.

Lil' Wen sat on the bed and wiped away her tears. She shook her head and said, "No, I'm pregnant!"

It scared Xu Ai so much that she almost jumped from the bed, but she couldn't bring herself to get up when she saw Lil' Wen's swollen eyes and desperate gaze. She asked gently, "Where's He Tao?"

Lil' Wen didn't speak.

Xu Ai deliberated before she spoke, "You and He Tao have been dating since high school. Now that we're in our junior year in university, and apparently He Tao's family is quite well-off. If you could take a year off, then you two can totally…"

"He's going to study abroad!" Lil' Wen interrupted. 

Xu Ai stopped talking instantly. 

Lil' Wen sneered, "You know, my family is not rich; there's no way for me to study abroad, and he still spends his parents' money. I've been to his house twice, but each time, his parents weren't very welcoming. I don't think they like me. He Tao said he will take me abroad with him, but I could tell it would put him in a pretty difficult spot. His family definitely won't support both him and me. Besides, he's got a little brother. He can't spend all of his family's money."

Xu Ai became silent. 

Lil' Wen bit her lips and continued, "Our families are no match for each other anyway. If I force He Tao to take me with him, then he will have to go home and fight with his parents. Even if his parents agree to it, and he takes me with him to study abroad, how am I supposed to marry him in the future without his parents' blessings? If we do get married, then don't I have to please his parents for the rest of my life? Everyone has dignity, and I haven't lost mine yet."

Xu Ai let out a rough sigh. It sucked to admit that she was right. "What about He Tao? Does he know you're pregnant?"

"He doesn't." Lil' Wen shook her head. "I don't plan on telling him."

"How could you not tell him? Maybe he won't go abroad if he knows. Pregnancy is a two-people issue." Xu Ai thought about her parents who lived overseas all the time. "Living abroad isn't necessarily a good thing. We were born and raised in China, so we might not even be able to get used to foreign cuisines." 

"Everyone wants to study abroad in our society. After plating yourself with gold and then coming back here, those big companies will treat you in a different way. It would be much better than people like us who have to hustle straight out of a university in China." Lil' Wen looked outside the window eerily. "He Tao's parents had always wanted him to study abroad, and it's something he always wanted too. He can't give up on his dreams because of love! Or else, who can guarantee he won't hate me for it in the future?"

Xu Ai felt a little depressed after listening to her. "Love is very troublesome!"

Her parents insisted on her joining them and studying abroad, but she refused. And a big reason was Lin Shen!

She didn't want to go, yet someone wanted to go but couldn't. 

Lil' Wen kept on looking outside the window. "Just troublesome?"

"If he studies abroad for a few years, and you can't go with him, what would you do?" Xu Ai often admired Lil' Wen during the past three years. She and her boyfriend had been dating since high school, and they were both admitted to the same university. Her boyfriend was a good-looking guy, and she was pretty as well. They've been together for five or six years now. Ever since the first day of university life, they ate together, studied together, and partied together. They were inseparable, completely different from Xu Ai and Lin Shen. 

"What could I do? Breakup!" Lil' Wen lied back down on her bed.

Xu Ai went silent. 

She wanted to say, are you really going to throw away five or six years of love? But now that she thought about it, what else could they do if they don't break up?

Her boyfriend would study abroad for at least three to four years!

Even if Lil' Wen could afford to wait, would He Tao be able to bear the loneliness when he's out of the country? Even if he could bear the loneliness, they still had to face myriads of issues between them when he returns, namely, their different levels of education. 

"Tomorrow is Sunday; we don't have to skip class." Lil' Wen lowered her voice and said, "Ai-Ai, I only told you about this. Please don't say anything when those two come back; I really don't want everyone to know."

Although the university had a rather lenient policy on dating, abortion was still not something to brag about!

The other two residents of their dorm room were Autumn and Violet. Autumn was a total blabbermouth, and Violet was a careless tomboy. If they knew her secret, they sure as hell would spill the beans to the world. 

"Okay!" Xu Ai nodded. 

The dorm room was quiet once again. 

When it was finally dark outside, sounds of laughter and chatting came from the hallway. The door opened, and Autumn and Violet stepped inside, carrying various-sized shopping bags.

Once they had entered the dorm room, they shouted at the two beds, "Wakey-wakey, lazy pigs!"

Xu Ai rolled her eyes. How could she wake up when she wasn't even asleep? And when was she ever lazy?

"Huh? What's wrong with you two? You two are like zombies!" Autumn threw her bags on the desk and looked at them. She pointed a finger at Lil' Wen. "You look like you just cried. Did you fight with He Tao?" She then pointed at Xu Ai. "You didn't go home this week? Were you working for your Lin Shen again?"

"You and your damned mouth!" Xu Ai got up and tried her best to act like her usual self. She stared at those shopping bags and asked, "What yummy food did you two masters buy? I haven't eaten yet, please, Master, spare me some food!"

"Your Lin Shen didn't feed you?" Violet's tone was bizarre. "How could he torture you like that?"

It gave Xu Ai a headache. Her expression turned cold as she said, "Who said he is mine? He's not my boyfriend, and I'm not his girlfriend. Why would he care if I ate?" 

Violet snorted, "It's been three years; you two are only one step away from a real relationship, but neither of you took that final step. What the heck is that! Doesn't every single person who knows you and Lin Shen think you two are already a couple? So many guys like you and want to pursue you but didn't, all because of Lin Shen. They were defeated. If you two aren't a couple now, you will be in the future."

Xu Ai felt a sharp pain in her heart, a pain that tore her from the inside out. "Not now, not ever."

"Eh?" Violet walked towards them curiously and stared at Xu Ai's face. "Why? You never acted like this when we talked about Lin Shen. Did you fight with Lin Shen as well?"

"Do you have anything to eat or not? I'm starving!" Xu Ai didn't want any further interrogation and jumped off her bed. 

Violet curled her lips and threw a big shopping bag at Xu Ai. "We bought bread, sausages, yogurt, pickles, burritos, chips, and loads of other stuff. Pick and choose!"

Xu Ai grabbed the shopping bag and started digging in.

"Praise Jesus we came back to rescue you, or else when Scholar Lin asks you to work for him tomorrow, you'll be a starved twig," Violet stated, then she asked Lil' Wen, "Have you eaten yet?"

"I don't have any appetite. I don't want to eat." Lil' Wen was entirely burrowed under her blanket.

Violet blinked at Xu Ai and questioned her with her eyes. 

Xu Ai took out a bread bun, a bag of pickled vegetables, and a box of yogurt, then she shook her head, indicating she had no idea.

"I got some chicken drumsticks here!" Autumn threw over another bag. 

Xu Ai took the bag bossily. She hadn't had any food since last night. Her stomach didn't care about her mood and started protesting. She didn't want to walk to the cafeteria, so she had to eat whatever was there. Beggars can't be choosers. 

"We shopped 'til we dropped today; I'm exhausted! How are we able to go hiking tomorrow!" Violet sat on the bed and started massaging her legs with her fists. "Let's reschedule to another time, Autumn!"

"How could we do that? We scheduled it ages ago. Nobody will ever let us tag along for future events if we reschedule at the last minute." Autumn shook her head. She, too, was sitting on her bed and massaging her legs. "It was all your fault. You wanted to get new clothes, then you wanted to get new shoes, then you wanted to get food. I walked so much that my legs don't work anymore." Autumn fussed at Violet. 

"Can't a woman dress up to find herself a boyfriend? Who knows, maybe I will meet my Mr. Right tomorrow!"

"Then, we should totally be there! I heard some of the cute guys are single."

"Oh yeah? Then, I better shower and have a nice sleep. We should set an early alarm for tomorrow." Violet's legs weren't sore anymore. She organized her bath products and dashed to the girl dorm shower. 

Autumn jumped off her bed and organized her bath products. 

"Wait for me!" she shouted as she followed after Violet. 

Even though every dorm room had its own bathroom, there was a body scrubber and a masseuse at the public shower. That was why these girls wanted to use the public shower.

The dorm was filled with silence. Xu Ai put down a half-eaten bread bun and lied on her bed.

Thank God they are leaving early in the morning tomorrow. That way, she could go to the hospital with Lil' Wen. 

After she lied down for a while, Violet pushed the door open and ran to Xu Ai, then she hauled her up. "Ai-Ai, Jiang Meng from next door said Lin Shen and Cheng Yanyan started dating. Is that true?"