3 almost there

But as life would get harder and the more i got in trouble for nothing the more i would be the one to be oucked on.That faith faded and I held on I still do but I'm hanging on with a rope.Life didnt come easy I worked for what I wanted good grades I got it for studying and doing the thing I needed. Age 13 hit like a big rock life was usual harder then depression came anxiety attacks became worse. feeling happy was just an emotion I could find then one day me and my mother burst out into an argument. She left the house and I was alone I was upset and angry I went into the kitchen and grabbed something I shouldn't have and put it by my very one stomach. Thoughts where ruching everything was so wow was I going to do it can I really go through with this is it really worth it will there be anything greater do I even belong here. Is this world going to get me stay. I called up a friend in tears and in pain with the knife in my hand not knowing what to do she answered. I cried for help and she calmed me my mother came back and I kept my mouth shut.