1 You won't know me

You know that feeling when you’re deep underwater, sinking - on purpose, letting your legs go limp just to feel what it’s like to be as light as air?

It feels good. You’re neither floating nor caring.

But then it’s not something that lasts forever; you begin to lose air, your lungs desperate for oxygen and your arms can’t help but wanting to reach the surface. Only momentarily does it feel so good, like nothing mattered.

Rising from the water, it’s like snapping back to reality.

I remember reliving that again and again for a long time. It was great for a while, going back into that safe and quiet place. But then of course, you’re forced to gasp for air again.

Sometimes even now - seven years later, I like to slip back into that habit, not noticing my teacher calling for my name repeatedly.

I snap out of my reverie and shoot out of my desk, causing my chair to make a screeching skid.

I see Mr Collins in the front casting me a patronising but amused look as he continues with a smirk.

“Shields, come collect your grades.”

I nod, about to approach the front but he hands my graded paper to a student at the front insead, who snicker at my results, along with the others who toss along my grade to me like they’re passing a baton.

I snatch the paper back in front of me to see the big C minus in red flashing before me, ink bleeding on the page.

The class is now completely quiet and many eyes bore into me, making me shrink a bit further into my seat. I can see Johnson Watts, the model student in the front out of the corner of my eye angling his body slightly to shoot me a sly smirk before returning to his former position and pushing up his thick framed glasses smugly.

I think I once got 1% more than him on a book report and he’s been petty ever since.

“Class dismissed.”

The bell rings three times loudly from the speakers.

I rush to the front before anyone can even prepare to leave, accidentally knocking into a desk and unknowingly having spilt the occupied person’s strawberry milk all over my uniform.

“What the fuck, Shields.”

I internally groan at the person whom I realise is Kelly Lanner, who has had an agenda against me ever since I’ve stepped foot into this school.

I wince at the stickiness feeling of the liquid dripping from my hands to my sneakers.

“Sorry,” I say hurriedly, not wanting to even spare a glance at her.

But Kelly isn’t the average person. Like a dog with a bone, she immediately blocks the narrow pathway amongst the desks by crossing her legs arrogantly, sitting sideways with persistence burning in her eyes.

“I couldn’t help but notice you need help with this class.”

She gestures to my paper that is also slick with thick liquid around the corners. I hoped it would conceal my grades, but to no avail.

“I can recommend you a few good tutors around here,” She says with a beaming smirk on her face. She feigns innocence, looking around and then whispering with flashing eyes, an eagerness to torment me, “I can maybe get you a discount.”

I sigh, shaking my hands of the milk aggressively one by one, purposely trying to get any remaining condiments on her

Kelly’s nose scrunches in disgust as a few droplets land on her face- now glowing scarlet.

“Even if it’s discounted, I probably still can’t afford it anyway.” I shrug.

This satisfies her even further as the corners of her lips curve up again. “I thought you’d never know your place.”

I roll my eyes and notice even though many students have left after the bell rang, a few have stayed back to spectate this fun debacle.

“How can I forget, with you reminding everyone and every second that your mommy and daddy’s loaded.”

She crosses her arms and narrows her eyes at me.

“We all know moths like you die chasing after flames,” she scoffs, “Do you think because we wear the same uniform we’re the same? The moment we step out of this school I’ll be somewhere you don’t even dare to look at.”

I look down at where she's sitting and even though she isn't looking at me, her smirk and mocking eyes are prominent as she slowly packs away her things, stalling and milking her time to insult me.

Her pony-tail bounces around as she does, and it makes me want to pull it more than anything.

I look away in annoyance, and my frustration furthers as I realise Mr Collins had already left. I wanted to ask him about, what I believe - are my unfair grades.

I purse my lips and glare at Kelly.

“What’s so great about you that you look down on others?”

Her face twists into confusion and then disbelief. “You still don’t know? After coming here, you still think that you can just become one of us?” She sneers, slowly tilting her head up and pointing her chin towards me as she tosses a mocking stare.

“You’re polluting my ears, Kelly.” I scratch my head in frustration. “I don’t wag my tail for mommy and daddy’s money. That’s where we’re different, you and I.”

“You-”

She shoots up from her seat but I shove her small frame aside before she can retaliate.

Picking fights are for those with money, not for someone like me that can’t afford such meaningless luxuries.

I bolt out of the class before Kelly can piss me off even further, shoving aside all the girls that have been gossiping over this petty argument.

I huff out of fury and speed-walk to the bathroom and take off my skirt, leaving me with shorts underneath. I blow a string of hair away from my face as I bring the skirt under the tap and sigh.

The attempt to uphold the bit of pride I could muster up is making me more tired over the years that I’ve been in this school. I am ultimately a sheep here, filled with wolves that can chew me up any time in this prestigious and privileged school, filled with young heirs to big companies and media cologmorates.

My eyes trail down to my skirt soaked in the sink, water now opaque with milk. I take in a shaky breath as I begin to feel my legs shake.

It’s happening again.

“This usually happens when a loss of someone so close and significant in one’s life can be so traumatic that the patient has trouble walking or doing simple or mundane tasks without that person.”

I hold onto the sink for support and take in a few breaths to calm myself.

But my mind begin to go to the past again, to my mother’s concerned face and then twisted into hopelessness, then recalling her shaky voice:

“Are-are you saying she won’t be able to walk without him?”

The sound of water running eases my mind for a second before I feel something rise in my throat as I’m reminded of the time I spent more than three months in a wheel-chair, unable to walk, unable to forget and unable to do anything but be hopeless.

I begin to sweat profusely even though my hand is directly under the cold and running water.

I feel my stomach churn and I begin to shake, and there is now a sheen of sweat on my forehead as I steal a quick glance at the mirror in front of me.

My lips are now dry and purple as I keep sucking in small and quick breaths in an attempt to calm my nerves.

I bolt into a stall behind me and empty the contents of my stomach in the bowl.

With a tremor in my hand, I rip off a piece of paper and wipe the corners of my mouth as I rise up from the wet and sticky floor.

Walking out of the stall, I see a tall figure leaning on the stall next to me out of the corner of my eye. I give out a yelp and jump back, taking in the sight of the boy before me.

"What-what are you-"

"You're in the boy's toilets." His lips quirk up into a small amusing grin, and I immediately notice his amber coloured eyes, sparking with fire from the sunlight pouring through the windows, surrounded by a frame of long lashes that seem to stand out the most beneath his ash blonde hair.

He clenches his sharp jaw and cocks his head to the side like he's inspecting me. My cheeks quickly heat up in embarrassment as I quickly divert my gaze to the ground and process his words.

He's handsome.

I hear him chuckle quietly, the sound deep but breezy at the same time, making me feel a bit lighter momentarily instead of intensifying my embarrassment.

I wonder if maybe I had said that aloud.

I clutch my stomach and suck in a nervous breath, suddenly realising he might have heard me hurl.

"Sorry, I-" I motion to the stall behind me, unable to form proper words, feeling my cheeks heat up even more.

He holds out something to me, with his sleeves rolled up, revealing his veiny and strong arm.

A bottle of water.

I hesitantly reach out for it, but lift my gaze to him again, like I'm asking for permission. His expression is unreadable now as he releases a small sigh, his forehead creasing a bit and his eyes hooded.

I wrinkle my nose in confusion unable to decipher his thoughts.

"There's more to life than this school you know," He says, simply. But something in his tone offends me, making it seem like he's teaching me.

With this, I retract my hand and rebuild my walls again, blocking off any kind of closeness or connection I've just felt.

"Thanks for the advice," I mutter quietly but sarcastically.

I brush past him to the sink where my skirt still lies in a wet mess. But suddenly, I feel light-headed again before I can even completely reach the sink for support and my legs give in.

I gasp, as a pair of strong hands lifts the sides of my waist and hoists me up before I could collapse.

I'm engulfed in warmth as he pulls me into his hard chest. I freeze and grip both of his hands for support as my back continues to be plastered on his chest, and my head tucked under his chin.

"That wasn't advice you know," He whispers with his hot breath tickling my ear, sending shivers to my spine. "It’s just reality."

With this, I scowl and am about to shove him away, when he suddenly spins me around and hauls me into a stall behind us with a tight grip on my wrist.

"What are you-" He quickly clamps a hand to my mouth with wide eyes.

Staring at his golden orbs compel me to do without question before I can process the situation.

"Dude, my parents are going to kill me if I don't show up at their stupid meetings." A voice of a boy bellows, his tone playful by there lies a tremor of fear that I know too well from being in the school for so long.

Students in this school only know how to cover up their own flaws and shortcomings with money and an attitude.

"But Katherine's party!" Another voice responds amusingly.

Suddenly there's a pause. "Hey, what the fuck is this?"

I hold in my breath as I realise he's referring to the wet mess of my skirt in the sink.

"Don't touch it you perv!" The other hisses.

"I'm not!"

As their footsteps drown out, the boy slowly retracts his hand from my mouth, and his subtle action causes me to realise the small space between us as he still has me backed up against the toilet stall, also with his hands now against the wall beside my head.

I bite my lip, feeling my insides churn as I meet his golden gaze.

Something clicks in my mind.

"You're Jace Archer." I state.

He cocks his head to the side, and bores his golden gaze into mine. And even under the dim lighting, he still shines.

"So what?" He replies, a bit more gruffly.

'So what' indeed. I suppress a small chuckle at the preposterous idea of how the wealthiest student in Sevit High has crossed paths with me, a scholarship student with no merit and status.

"Nothing," I reply rashly, avoiding eye contact. I peel myself off the cubicle wall and brush his arms away. I collect the wet mess that is my skirt and squeeze the excess water out, while fully aware that he is still watching and observing me.

"Are you just going to go out like that?"

"Well I'm not naked am I?" I sarcastically reply whilst gesturing to my denim shorts.

"You're not afraid of what people will say?" He questions with a blank expression.

I turn to face him now and can't help but muster up a laugh. "I meant to ask you that actually." I run my hands under the cold water again, the sound of water pouring down fills the silence.

"Aren't you afraid of what people will say when they see you talking to me?"

He produces his own scoff as he narrows his eyes at me and crosses his muscular arms. "I can talk to anyone I want."

I smirk, finally realising why this boy here is gradually getting on my nerves. I can only presume his kindness earlier was all an act.

But I've now torn off that sheep mask of his because this boy is a wolf.

The fact that he can scrape up the worst scores in the school and still be treated like a king, whereas I'm losing my mind over just one shit score, infuriates me.

Does he not know how privileged he is? Does he not value that at all? Or maybe he's so used to it that he feels he can lecture people like me who put their whole lives on the line for that perfect score, desperate to maintain a scholarship, desperate to not let their family down.

All of that must look futile and pathetic to him.

"I'm sure you can talk to the Queen of England too if you wanted." I take a step closer and his gaze never leaves my eyes.

Jace Archer is someone who wouldn't even answer to the principal or converse with us lowly beings.

So what makes anything he's saying to me now even genuine?

I take a paper towel and wipe my hands and its crevices, taking my eyes off Jace momentarily. I can feel him edging closer to me, his shadow looming over my body. I try not to cower but my feet unconsciously back away.

"Why do you care so much about what other people think?" He asks slowly, his eyes now hard and intense. "Our lives are too short to even focus on ourselves."

I can't help but gulp at our close proximity and the fire that seems to burn in his eyes. At the same time, I feel a sense of inferiority to him that is driving me mad.

"I can't believe this is coming from someone like you. " I whisper harshly.

"Someone like me?" Jace snarls. "Do you know me?" He asks, almost sarcastically.

I edge even closer to him, my eyes staring straight into his now even more intense gaze, my breath still trembling.

“Until the day you die, you’ll never understand or know me.”

His eyebrows knit together in confusion and this is the first time he seems to be taken off guard.

“You too. Until the day you die, you won’t know me.”



____

Please let me know how it is so far! Please vote to help my work :))

I'm Kim and I focus on creating authentic and genuine characters.

Let me know what you think of our protagonist Arden!