9 Navigating High Society
"And it's nearly curfew, so out of here you scamp!" Lockhart made shooing motions with his hands. Harry stood and stumbled to the door, holding the contracts and frowning.
After the door closed, Lockhart sighed deeply. This was harder than he had expected. But it was all vital in keeping the boy's feet on the ground and surviving the turmoil that the professor knew was coming.
The next few nights he would lecture the boy, while they addressed letters and signed autographs, on the various social necessities the Wizarding World expected from the Heads of Houses.
He would teach the boy how to navigate the shark-infested waters that were the so-called Pure-blood Houses — Gilderoy may have been an opportunistic twit, but he did know the rules of Wizarding High Society.
Physical fighting, Harry had learned, was only a small part of the war. With the right nudges and diplomacy, a skilled tactician could prevent some battles entirely, and save countless lives in doing so.
He pulled out his to-do list from the drawer, and perused it once more, moving the two completed tasks to his "Done" parchment.
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Tasks to Complete as a Hogwarts' Professor
First, Improve the students' current rating in D.A.D.A. from pathetic to a minimum of adequate. And achieve fame as the best D.A.D.A. teacher ever!
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Gilderoy kept trying to reverse the order of those two. He didn't seem to get that the fame would naturally follow the other without any additional effort.
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Second, Part A, destroy the friendship between Ron and Harry as subtly as possible.
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With the exception of last year, Ron had turned on him every year they had attended Hogwarts. His jealousy and temper had ultimately destroyed the Wizarding world. Not to mention the hell he put Hermione through every year, starting with their first year with his constant put-downs, and degrading comments, and continuing until he deserted them.
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Second, Part D, Fan Club for Harry Potter – Ginny, Luna? – Colin to start.
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A fan club for Harry would drive Ron to distraction.
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Third, catch the rat and bring justice to his Godfather. Use his position in the public eye to make sure the Ministry doesn't bury the story. Maybe he should write a book with the rat as the centrepiece.
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'And, not incidentally, garner himself some wonderful headlines and even more fame,' the Gilderoy-side whispered.
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Fourth, help Neville gain confidence to become the great Wizard he is capable of being.
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"And ensure at least one steadfast Pure-blood supporter should he ever need the help of a distinguished Ancient and Noble family," added Gilderoy.
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Fifth, Luna Lovegood. Make sure the bullies never have a chance.
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Her quirky outlook had saved his life more than once while they were on the run. He owed her that.
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Sixth, retrieve Ravenclaw's Diadem from the Come-and-Go Room, and destroy the soul piece in it. (Fiendfyre?)
Seventh, retrieve the Slytherin Locket from Grimmauld Place (dependent on when Sirius is released). (Fiendfyre?)
Eighth, destroy the diary and the Basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets, and save Ginny Weasley. THAT is definitely a book he will publish. Acquire Phoenix Tears just in case! Keep a sharp eye on Ginny. Maybe get the Map from the twins?
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"And cash in on the salvage of the Basilisk, the venom alone is worth tens of thousands of galleons," put in Gilderoy.
He would have to wait on that and let the year play out the way it had previously. After all, while he did know where and what the monster was, speaking Parseltongue was a secret he wanted to keep as long as possible. Publically, he was dependent on Harry for that.
The money from the Basilisk would easily pay for sending Ginny to a Mind Healer afterwards, and prevent the after-the-fact suffering she had endured in the previous timeline, which the Muggles called Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. In the meantime, his hands were tied.
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Ninth, retrieve the Gaunt Ring and destroy it. (Definitely use Basilisk venom for this)
Tenth, retrieve the Hufflepuff Cup and destroy it, or get the Goblins to do it for me.
Eleventh, Remove ALL the bones from the Riddle Graveyard and replace them with something else — perhaps roadkill squirrels or Acromantula chiton? Let's see him try to rally the Pure-bloods looking like a spider!
Twelfth, find and kill Nagini? Is she even a Horcrux yet?
Thirteenth, what to do about Harry's portion of Riddle?
Fourteenth, remove, with extreme prejudice, Malfoy and all the other Death Eaters, in and out of Azkaban. Deprive them of their power and wealth which played a large role in controlling ministry and ruining people's lives. Not to mention crippling Voldewhore's financial base.
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"No, loot their wealth, and buy a beach house on his own island," added Gilderoy. "And find a lot of ladies to shag. Sinistra looks like a good one to start with." No, wait, that last was solely Lockhart's list!
The list review stopped abruptly due to some serious inner turmoil. Harry was still not used to interacting with adult women in the manner Gilderoy wanted.
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