98 98. Sometimes, Happy Can Be Evil

Events unfolded as Happy Flamel-Lestrange had wanted them to. The Quidditch World Cup was ruined by the riots caused by Death Eaters. The Dark Mark resurfaced, and the Ministry was in denial. However, this time it only feigned ignorance because Minister Fudge was bribed to do that—otherwise, he completely believed that the Dark Lord was indeed back. Happy's meddling had the opposite effect, and the man believed Happy was one of the Dark Lord's followers all along.

The school year progressed without any major hurdles. A new professor was also in the school—Alastor Moody, the DADA professor. However, Happy hadn't shared the secret about him being Barty Crouch Jr. with anyone yet.

For everything to go smoothly, it was important for Harry Potter to enter the Triwizard Cup. Despite Dumbledore not wanting to place an age limit this time, Happy forced Minister Fudge to do it.

It was an elaborate plan while Happy prepared for the main course that was to arrive soon.

…

China,

"Koko, if anyone tries to catch you—remember, roar like a mad tiger. Otherwise, I'm afraid you'll end up in someone's soup bowl." Happy advised his best friend while holding him safely under his jacket.

"Quack?"

"Yes—you're a fine delicacy in these parts. Let's just continue our search for better food. Then we'll return to New York and see how work is going."

Having decided to make a journey across Asia, Happy had started from Iran, then entered Pakistan, and India, and through Myanmar, he arrived in China. Of course, he used his portal to travel quickly. And his next stop was Korea—both North and South. He wanted to try and see if the two Koreas had a different taste for similar cuisine.

Not to mention, his company had recently provided a lot of help to North Korea. The dumb bastards of the government were trying to hide the famine going on in their country to protect their international image, and the reason why it happened—administrative negligence. Thankfully, a group of volunteers raised the alarm, and Lestrange Investment Bank's food subsidiary provided the much-needed aid.

Sweet and sour pork, Peking roast duck, Mapo Tofu, Chinese hot pot, Chicken fried rice, Char Siu, Street Kebabs, Shredded pork with garlic sauce, Red braised pork… Happy ate whatever he came across, of course not the bizarre ones since they just felt too stomach-churning.

No matter what, he couldn't bring himself to eat Silkworm, Sheep phallus, Bat soup, Birds nest soup, or Chicken gonads. It was more of a medicinal mumbo jumbo witchcraft than actual delicacies.

"Next stop—Korea!" Happy boomed and created a portal for himself to arrive at the home of his new good friend, the little fat boy, the only fat boy in his nation—Kim Jong Un. The boy was just twelve years old, and Happy made a strategic friendship with him.

Heck, the boy's father, pushed for Kim Junior to be friends with Happy considering his powerful wizard background as well as his financial status. After all, Happy alone was richer than the entire country of North Korea, whose GDP was standing at mere eight billion dollars, a downfall from ten and twelve in the previous years. While Happy had already hit five hundred billion a few months ago.

"Jong Un, let's make a promise of friendship with magic. What do you think?" Happy suggested while playing with the boy two years younger than himself. "Do you want to be rich and make your papa proud?"

The fat little boy bobbed his head, his face stuffed with candies. "I make Papa proud? How?"

Happy smiled and took out his wand, clasping the little boy's hand. "Just repeat what I say, and I'll make you very rich—Oh, I also got a lot of chocolates from America. Let's taste them later."

"Woah! From Africa? I want some… quick, quick, make me rich." Chonky boy Kim urged, gripping Happy's hand tightly.

Tap!

Happy made Koko the witness of the vow, because why the hell not? In no time, strings of light circled around their hands.

"Repeat after me—I, Kim Jong Un, will forever listen to big brother Happy Flamel Lestrange when it comes to running my country… I will never make big brother Happy Flamel Lestrange angry… I will always obey the command of my big brother Happy Flamel Lestrange."

It was hard for Kim's thick skull to remember those words since he was never that mentally gifted, nor was he given a strict education. But, he eventually succeeded in doing it.

"Let's go, Happy! Let's eat chocolates from Costa Rica!" Jong Un bounced around like a ping-pong ball on a string.

"Ah, just one more thing, Jong Un." Happy muttered and tapped his wand on the boy's head. "Obliviate."

Woosh!

"Go, the chocolates are in my bag. Phew… Such a good day, one less dictator to worry about." Happy then sent the boy away, and heaved a sigh of relief. "Now we can start the food pilgrimage."

"..."

But just then, Happy noticed Koko staring at his face. "What?"

"Oink, Mooo, Woof!"

"What do you mean by evil? This is called insurance, Koko. A backup plan just in case I can't teach him that well and he still becomes a trigger-happy dunce. Anyway, let's go now… time to devour some nice Pyongyang Cold Noodles."

"Awoooo!" Koko was ready, since he didn't give a rat's ass who Happy lured into his web. After all, to him, as long as Happy was smiling, he was smiling.

…

October 1994,

"I feel good… tededede… I knew that I would… dededede… I feel good, I knew that I would… So good, so good. Dada… I got you…" Singing a song, Happy walked the roads of Seoul, the bustling city in its development phase. Happy had only heard about the city in his past life and had seen some dramas and pictures. Of course, the current city was nothing like the one in the future, but he could imagine it.

"I'm witnessing the Korean miracle with my own eyes. But I know some Asian financial crisis is going to come soon… but that's normal, I don't know enough about it, nor will I try to fix it. Bob, what about you? What do your kids do?" Happy asked his most loyal wizard officer, the head of his one hundred ex-bounty hunter team.

Bob had a bubbly personality. He was slightly chubby and six foot seven tall. He was born an Australian but lived most of his life in France after being sacked by the Ministry. Furthermore, he loved food as much as Happy—hence an instant friendship was formed.

"I have a son and daughter. The girl is one, and the boy is five, waiting to turn eleven and start wizarding school," Bob answered while eating meat skewers on the walk.

Happy voiced his disapproval. "I would suggest you let your son go to muggle school and get basic muggle education first. It will develop his mind for analytical thinking. Look at the children of pureblood. Aren't they dumb?"

Bob felt sweat on his head as he was about to tell Happy that he was a pureblood too. "I understand, Boss. By the way, why are we in Korea? Don't you want to participate in the Triwizard Tournament?"

Happy shrugged. "Who cares about some tournament? I'm already world-famous, aren't I? The French Ministry had already sent out a lookout notice for me, to arrest me for questioning—life is good."

"Aren't you afraid?"

"Why would I be? I've done nothing but good things. And if they want to punish me for being good—I got a billion things to say to change their mind. Come on, let's try eating Bulgogi and some Korean fried chicken. I really love their sweet and spicy flavor."

"Ugh, I don't like spicy," Bob mumbled.

"WEAK!" Happy exclaimed. "How will you fight the Dark Lord like that? Come on, I'll train you today."

Bob stopped in his tracks, his eyes widened in confusion. "W-We're going to fight a Dark Lord?"

"..."

"Haha… Dark Lord? I meant Bark Lord. It's the name of a three-headed giant dog." Happy played it safe.

But Bob remained there. "Sir, I-is that's supposed to make me feel better?"

"..."

…

October arrived, and with it came Halloween. The French and Bulgarian school students started to arrive at Hogwarts for the Triwizard Tournament. The Beauxbatons and Drumstrangs arrived with much fanfare on their respective magnificent modes of transportation. Unlike commonly believed, the French school had boys along with girls too. Nor was Drumstrang an all-boys school.

It made no sense why some folks thought that. After all, if that was the case, where would French male wizards and female Bulgaria witches go? They were certainly not at Hogwarts.

However, while the school ushered in festivities and celebrations of the tournament, and the absence of Happy was being felt—something shocking took place across the Atlantic.

…

New York, Happy's Apartment.

"W-What?!"

Thud!

For the first time in his life, even Happy Lestrange, the rich and uncaring wizard, felt his knees weak and fell on the couch. In his hands were the business statements written and signed by Chris, who was now the CEO of LIB.

"When did we hire a hundred and sixty thousand people? Where do they work?" Happy looked at the figures and felt his mind go numb. "And how did my wealth increase to over a trillion? This is impossible… Even in my pas…"

Happy had surely heard about big companies in his past life, going beyond trillion dollars market cap. Heck, they went multi-trillion dollars. But, since Lestrange Investment Bank was his and only his—it meant he was a trillionaire. And it made no damn sense, as a single Room of Requirement couldn't make that much food to sell.

Chris finally had a huge grin on his face. At last, he was the one seeing Happy shocked, not the other way around. "There's no mistake, Sir. All the reports are made by the auditing department, and I believe we can go for an IPO this Christmas."

Happy's brows rose. "Do you want me thrown in Azkaban? What IPO? Our product comes out of magic, out of thin air. There's no way we can explain anything to our investors."

Chris grinned. "Only a part of our company will get an IPO—And it will all be a legitimate business."

Happy didn't remember anything about having a legit business.

"What did you do?"