Blundering Dudley

Clarity raises an eyebrow at Dudley's interruption. "Oh, and what could you mean by that exactly?"

Dudley smirks. "Why, everybody knows that your father is the manager of the famous Barings Bank. My father likes to talk about how important they were in the war, and how much influence they have. The daughter of someone like that should not be sitting with this pair of freaks."

I feel Harry flinch beside me at being called a freak, while I merely roll my eyes. I look at Clarity to see her reaction, and see that her eyes narrow at the word. (He's done it now...) I hold back a smirk as I take a bite of mashed potatoes, pleased that I get to watch some drama that neither me nor my twin are directly involved in.

"Oh really," Clarity responds, her tone cold, "and what exactly determines that these two individuals are 'freaks' as you call them?"

Dudley blinks, as if he's confused as to why she's questioning him. After all, nobody else does. "W-well, it is because they are freaks. They do weird things and refuse to tell people how or why they did them. They once turned our teacher's wig blue in the middle of class!"

Clarity turns our way with a confused and shocked expression. I simply roll my eyes once again. "We didn't. Not only would it be a dumb thing for us to do, but there was no possible way FOR us to do it. We'd been sitting at our desks the entire class period. And during our lunch, we were being chased by Dudley and the Vapids, so we couldn't have done it then either."

She looks back at Dudley to see his reaction. He snorts, "So what, we all know you two did it, even if nobody knows HOW you did it! Which is why you should sit with me and my friends instead. None of us EVER get in trouble with the teacher or the principle."

He doesn't notice Clarity's face turn darker the more he speaks. She only replies once he's done talking. "While I thank you for your consideration of my social standing, I regret to inform you that I feel the need to politely decline your invitation. Given that there was no evidence for the incident you describe, nor even a concrete REASON for how they did it or why it was suspected that they did it, I find it unlikely that they were involved in said incident. As such, I will continue to sit with them for the lunch period, both today and in the future. I now ask that you take your leave so that we might enjoy the remainder of our lunch."

With her small speech finished, Clarity turns back to her lunch, completely ignoring Dudley's gobsmacked expression. It takes Dudley another few moments to gather himself. It probably would have taken longer, but he probably heard Harry snickering at how soundly he got rejected. He glowers at the two of us, and his face starts to turn red in anger once he sees the smirk on my face.

"See ya later Dudley. Try not to Blunder anything else today. Though knowing you, you'll probably blunder the rest of the day." His face finishes it's transformation into a tomato at my mocking tone. He opens his mouth to say something, glances back at Clarity, and seems to think better of it. He turns around to leave while I turn back to my food. For some reason, I suddenly feel more hungry than I was a few minutes ago.

When Dudley reaches his table, he seems to trip on something. His loud exclamation draws attention from everyone in the cafeteria, our table included. We see him fall on his table, his face landing in a plate of mashed potatoes. But that's not all. His weight manages to flip the table onto him, the food and drink spilling all over his back. The table lands right after and he starts squealing like a pig for his friends to get it off him.

After a few moments of shock, they comply and flip it to the side, It's a light table, so he's not hurt, but the fact that he's covered in smushed food and drink has definitely lowered his standing with everyone here. And he knows it. When he stands up, his face seems to have achieved a new level of redness. He storms out of the cafeteria without another word.

Right after everyone bursts into laughter. Even his friends are having a small chuckle at his situation before they follow him out. The rest of the lunch is peaceful, and the three of us talk about inconsequential things. Once the bell rings, we head back to class.

Dudley enter soon after we're sitting, clothes still a bit wet from him having to wash them clean in the bathroom sink. He sends me and Harry a glare as he goes to his seat, though I've no idea why. It's not like we had anything to do with him tripping.

(A:N Wink wink.)

As he sits in his chair though, there's a loud crack. Everyone looks in alarm at where it came from, and lo and behold. Dudley has fallen through his chair! The seat seems to have fallen straight off the bottom, so now his butt is sticking through. His knees are on par with his nose as he struggles to lift himself. He tries to brace his hands against the sides of the seat, but he lacks the leverage to pull himself out. He sends a glare at the Vapids around him.

"Do not just stare, pull me out!" The Vapids are startled into action, and they all rush to help him. They end up having to tilt his chair to the side in order to pull from both sides in order to free him. It kind of reminds me of a hermit crab trying to leave its shell.

Eventually he's free, his face red once again. It's now that the teacher walks in. She jumps a bit when she sees the state of Dudley's chair. "Oh dear, what happened?" After a quick explanation, she sends Dudley and one of the Vapids to get him a new chair from storage.

Nothing happens for the rest of the day, and all too soon it's time to go home. Me and Harry say goodbye to Clarity and head to Vernon's car where we see Dudley yelling through the window.

I sigh, (I just know that we'll get blamed for this somehow...)