01 - Eyes

"Lorraine, our service is here," Mom announces as I gaze at her. She's standing beside me with a quite stoic face.

"Yes, Mom," I answer back, closing the catalog I've been reading about Japan's tourist spots.

I stand up on my seat, then compose myself, checking if there are any ruffles on my coat. And I think, I look fine.

As soon as I stand beside mom, I pull my luggage and we start walking towards the exit of the arrival area. We have just arrived here in Japan a few minutes ago, and unluckily, we don't have someone to drive us to our new house.

It's not that we are new to Japan. I was actually born here, but migrated to America when I was still a kid . . . I guess. We moved back here again—to a small town called Torono, Miyagi Prefecture—because of business matters.

We reached the outside. There's a car parked in front, and a man wearing a business suit. Maybe, I'm correct that he's the driver that Mom called from the company where she works.

Mom goes straightly to the car, as the man immediately opens the door of the backseat. She climbs in, and I go next.

After a while, the car starts moving. I sigh on my mind as the air of silence hurriedly coats the whole place. No one is talking. I can't hear any other noise aside from the noise of the car's engine.

Mom will not probably speak, I'm sure of that. I won't speak either. It's not that there's an ugly bond in our relationship. But mom only talks about nothing but business and perfectionism.

Yes, talk about perfection.

She wants to be perfect according to her own taste. Every moves, ways, or activity should be perfect. She's the type of person who will manipulate people and wrap them to her fingers.

And I'm here, not meeting any of her expectations. To her eyes, I'm a disappointment. Well, if I were to be asked, to my own eyes, mom's perception is beyond laughable.

I don't have a father. They got separated. Likely, because of mom. I don't have any siblings either. Summary, it is just me and her.

"Anyway, Lorraine." Out of blue, my mother speaks. I eyed her. Her eyes are cold, marking a high authority to her gaze. "I have enrolled you at your new school, Karasuno High School." She says sophisticatedly eloquent.

"Sure," I reply with a small shrug. I don't care whatever school I'm in. Life is still the same, though.

Later that day, we finally reached the house. Typical modern Japanese style house. And I can tell, this house will be like an empty shell . . . again.

In my fifteen years of being alive, I'm always left out in a place where I can't even call home.

We all get out of the car. I observe the house. All I can say is it looks so lonely. It is painted gray, designed with white wood claddings and canopies. A pretty big house only for two persons. I mean, for me only.

I check the time, and it's 27 minutes before 6 P.M. The sun is slowly fading as the nightfall is near.

I feel so tired right now. Jetlagged. I wonder if Mom will sleep here tonight.

I pick my luggage and walk straightly to the main entry. Mom has already opened the door, as she goes inside the foyer.

I carry my luggage up to the three-steps riser of the outside stairs and then follow mom inside.

I inhale a huge amount of air to my system as I sense the sleepiness. I want to rest already.

I'm about to close the door, but immediately halt, because the man who was driving for us comes back rushing to our doorsteps.

"What is it, sir?" I question him.

"I have just received a call from the office, ma'am." answers him, "And they are looking forward to speaking with your mother."

"Oh, right," I reply and let him inside.

He briskly reaches the phone to her. Once mom has the phone, she puts it to her ear and says, "Hello."

I'm only looking at her, watching her speaks on the other line. Another business talk.

I yawn as I let them have a conversation. I'm certain that I'm on my zero limits. I'm longing for a peaceful sleep just like a baby.

"Lorraine,"

I got alarmed as my sleepiness disappeared right after she called my name.

"Yes, mom?" I respond, hiding the surprise.

"I will be leaving tonight."

If there something disappointing as this, I wish, it never happened.

"But . . . it's late already," I mutter politely. "And I know that you're tired. Consider the hours we have traveled just to arrive here. Please take a rest just for this night."

Mom stares at me still on cold eyes. Her expression does not change as well. But she sighs, sensing the tardiness to her body.

"Yes, it's tiring. But I still need to go."

I give a baffled look. "You're still going? But . . ."

"It's an emergency, Lorraine." she still urges, "And this is the reason why we came here. It's because of my work."

I can't help but smile ruefully. "Your work is not only in the company," I whisper under my breath.

"Did you say something?"

"Take care, then." I grin forcefully, "That's what I said."

"Oh. Fine," she replies and grabs her handbag. "Perhaps I'll be home tomorrow evening."

"Noted." I nod.

I have thought mistakenly, honestly believing that she will be staying here and take a rest from the long travel.

Mom is sure dedicated to her job. She would exchange everything, even her own health, just to fulfill her job.

I don't know if that's being devoted or plain stupid.

Mom starts walking with posture and exits the house. I follow her up to the gate. She rides back to the car again and watches her closes the door.

I look down on the ground, just waiting for them to leave already.

Should be happy because she's working hard to make our lives on the prosperous line? Or be sad because I'm always left alone?

I sigh. There's no other choice but accept this.

"I almost forgot." It's my mom's voice so I peer at her. The window is still open, showing her young, flawless face. Mom still looks so pretty, I would say. "Take this cash." Then she reaches out her hand, holding a large amount of money.

I say no more words but to get the cash, accept it, and that's all.

Yes, that's all. She only closes the window and leaves without uttering any word.

"See you when I see you, I guess," I say to myself.

I know that she won't be home tomorrow. With her loadful of works, she won't finish everything tomorrow.

It's always like that. Her schedules are always extending, causing her to go back to this house after a week. Bitter for me to say, but the company where she works in her home.

I sigh again. Looks like singularity will be with me as always.

I yawn, and my eyes water. I turn around, facing the main door of the house. Rubbing my eyes, I see a person on my peripheral view.

Involuntarily, I gaze to the person without a second thought.

And it's kind of regretful because he's also looking at me.

Our eyes meet. I meet his eyes. He meets mine.

I feel embarrassed. And really, I should look away.

But I didn't.

I keep on staring to his eyes. His golden brown eyes are beautifully painted a bored expression that complements with his light blonde hair. He's wearing black-framed eyeglasses and a pair of white headphones clinging on his neck.

As the stare is still not cut, I purse my lips a little. He looks cool, I can say, but I don't care.

I only nod my head and then look away.

That gaze means nothing. How can I tell? Having long eye contact with a person that I've only met for the first time, is normal. And there's no other meaning to that.

I will bet, that person will think the same. Well, I'm new here, anyway.

☔