11 Sweater Weather

"But I stand, in California with my toes in the sand, use the sleeves of my sweater, let's have an adventure..." - Sweater Weather by The Neighbourhood (Covered by Savannah Outen)

***

Waiting.

That's what I was doing at that moment. I didn't tell anyone about the phone call, just like I was asked not to. I was also asked to meet her here, in 'Morale's coffee house'.

It was a cosy place, yet not many people came during this hour. At least it’s not a place my family would walk into. It was 8:17 AM.

I was sitting at far end corner away from everyone. I'm not sure if I should believe this Silver person, but I guess you could say that she's my only chance at finding him.

My father.

I don't know whether I really wanted to meet him or not, but I feel like if I just got a confirmation about him being alive, that it would at least put me out of a quarter of my misery.

"Harmony White?" I speedily turned my neck to the source of the new found voice. "It's me, Silver Grome." She gave me a small sweet smile. I didn't say anything as she sat down. I just waited for her to open up the conversation.

"So I'm going to exclude the small talk and cut to the chase. You're grandmother told me everything I needed to know. The only thing I want to make sure of is if you're ready?"

"Ready for what?" I blurted out.

"Ready to expect the worst," Right then and there I understood what she meant. "I've dealt with many people trying to find who ever it is they wanted to find, all of them came to find them. Only most were found already gone."

"I just want to find him. I don't know what is going to happen when I do, but I just want to know if he is-" I couldn't finish that sentence. It was hard enough to know this huge secret, and knowing that in the end he was not here to begin with would literally cause me to loose hope in everything.

"I completely understand what you mean, Harmony. Now how about we meet here everytime I find something new okay?" I only nodded once. "Do you want to ask me any questions?" I had over a billion questions to ask, yet only one managed to jump out my mouth.

"How long will all of this it take?" She didn't seem surprised by my question. It was like expecting it or something.

"It depends really, if you're father is in the US, then I'd be able to locate him, and give all the details in approximately around a week, but if he was somewhere else. It would take weeks, possibly months."

"You can find him in a week only?"

"Yes. After all I am the best of the best" She winked at me, causing me to smile. "Tomorrow I will start investigating, and if I do find something, I will call you to meet me here. Okay?"

"Okay" I whispered back. Overwhelmed was an understatement of how I felt.

"I know this all scary for you," She smoothly said. "But I just want you to know that I will find him, even if it's the last thing I do." I sighed trying to calm myself down. "There is one more thing Harmony"

"What?" I gulped.

"You can't tell anybody about this. This must be kept secret. Okay?"

"Why do all of you keep saying that? First grandma, now you." She sighed at my question.

"Harmony, sometimes things are better left to be unsaid." With that she just got up and walked away. Leaving me to think about her abstruse words.

Why can't they just tell me what the fuck was actually going on? They make me feel like someone dangerous can kill me if I knew such information or something.

Okay, so when I actually said I wanted my life to be like the movies, I didn't particularly mean the mysterious ones. I just want one thing, and that is love.

I immediately stopped thinking about it, and tried to distract myself, because if I don't stop my tears will be running down like a waterfall in no time. I'd very much prefer to let the water stream down face when I'm alone.

I stayed in that coffee shop for another half an hour before paying and walking out. As soon as I stepped outside, I placed my headphones on and as always let myself drown deep into the music.

All I am is a girl I want my hands in the world...

I really do hate being the isolated type of girl, but I literally can't help it. I can't just change the voices inside of head through the day and night.

It doesn't work like that.

I want to be able to talk to people without having to think that they might be using me, or making fun of me.

Head in the clouds but my gravity's centered, touch my neck and I'll touch yours...

The kiss.

Carter.

Oh My God! Why the hell can't I just forget about him? After all he did just practically betray Cameron. It was clear as day that Cameron liked him, he never thought to turn her down instead he just let her be.

'You betrayed her too'. My conscious flatly added, making me feel ten times worse than I already did. She has never felt bad about making me feel the way I do today. So me feeling like this made my blood decoct.

He knows what I think about, what I think about...

I hate that he has this effect on me. I feel weak enough as it is without having him hypnotise me with every chance he got.

I have to stay away from him. I can't get to close. To close means I'll get attached. I have to remember to stay focused on finding my father. Carter surely wants Cameron not me. Nobody wants me. Maybe my father will, I hope with all my heart that he does.

I was almost home. I already passed the main gate, now I was walking through the familiar long drive way, with trees covering both lanes. The beach house was very isolated from the rest. We had no neighbours at all. The nearest neighbour was about three to four miles away.

The only thing that kept me walking was imagining the hot bath I'd be taking soon. I was so busy trying to motivate my lazy self to walk, that I didn’t notice the weird looking sport car rush past me.

It was only after I heard the deafening screech of its tires indicating that it came to a halt unanticipatedly that I realised it was rushing towards our house.

It then rushed back with the same speed, only in reverse. Meaning it was coming my way. I started to panic when it stopped beside me. Thoughts more like warnings were jumping in and out of my mind. Telling me not to stop walking. I was silently hoped whoever this was will just go away.

I was about to start running when the car window rolled down.

"Harmony?" That voice. It sent shocks down my spine. I'd know it anywhere. A part of me couldn't help but thank God that it wasn't some pedophile or criminal. I cleared my throat before answering back.

"Carter." I greeted him with my voice empty of emotion. I began to resume my walk, since the conversation wasn't going anywhere.

"What are you doing out here?" He asked. I didn't answer back. I didn't want to. I just wanted him to leave me alone. His driving was consistent with my walking. When I speeded up, so did he. When I slowed down, so did he.

"Harmony? We have to talk." He continued. My mouth still remained shut. "Harmony." He sighed, calling my name.

"What?" This time I stopped and faced him. My heart started to skip beats, at how aristocratic and formal he looked. He was wearing a dark blue suit and black tie. His hair was combed back so neatly. My best guess was that he was in a meeting or was going to one.

"We need to talk," He spoke more loudly this time.

"Talk? What is there to talk about?"

"You know exactly what I want to talk about." Oh I absolutely do, but I didn't want hear him tell me how much of a mistake it was.

"I do not want to talk about it, so just leave me alone." I rolled my eyes.

"That's it." Not taking my words in well, he stepped out of his car, slammed his car door fumingly and began to invade my personal space.

"Carter, leave me alone," I repeated. "What the fuck do you want from me? Huh? I know what you're going to say. You're going to say that the kiss was nothing but an elephantine mistake. And that you choose to be with Cameron, not that it would be surprising. See I know what you're going to say, so I don't know what more do you w-want from-" He pulled me into his arms, and pushed his lips on mine to silence me.

Tears exploded out of my eyes. I tried pushing him away, but it was no use. He was twenty times stronger than lazy me will ever be. He pulled away a few seconds later. I kept my eyes shut, not wanting him to see them now surely bloodshot.

"If I wanted Cameron, I would had her a long time ago. I never did. I can't stop thinking about you. Never did I stop thinking about you. From the first time I ever laid eyes on you all those years ago. You make me go crazy, I haven't felt this way about anyone before. Harmony, I want you." He whispered. I literally lost it at that moment. I started to sob, I didn't care whether he was standing infront of me or not. The only thing that didn't leave my mind were the three words, I will never forget. The three words I've been craving to hear from anyone since I was four years old.

I want you.

From the first time I ever laid eyes on you all those years ago.

I might just have to ask him about that later.

He didn't question me about why I was crying. He didn't push me away. He just held me in his warm muscular arms.

Ethereal

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