17 Chapter 17: Shall I Accompany You, Miss?

This morning I was understandably not in a good mood, I was thinking about how I could protect my family and the prince and as a side effect myself. I did not necessarily intend to bid adieu to my early life. A guard spotted me as I walked through the hall. I sighed and looked at him while black mascara mixed with tears ran down my cheeks and left beads on my dress. I must have been crying again, I must have done it so many times that I didn't even notice it myself anymore. I pointed to the garden. I didn't have to say much I didn't have to say anything, my face spoke volumes. "Shall I accompany you, Miss?" he asked anxiously. I didn't even know his name, to be honest, I had never seen him here before, but everything was so utopian, it was only likely. I wanted to have my peace, but there was no other way, the king didn't want us to wander around alone outside the palace at least in the building it had been lifted. I nodded and he led me into the garden. Today my maids had persuaded me to put on a black dress with a red flower-draped on it. I had refused at first, deep memories of a dream I tried to forget. All that was missing was a sash that read Murderess. My fate seemed set in stone, my attempt to escape without collateral damage failed. For a while, he walked after me in silence, his steps firmer and more determined than mine. The boots, as I could catch a glimpse of them earlier in the hall, were full of mud. A stake perhaps? He certainly didn't get to clean them. He didn't dare say anything, but I didn't wonder, surely it was in a code, but I was neither a princess nor a lady and somehow I longed for someone who wasn't involved in the matter. "You don't have to obey the code, you can walk beside me '', I tried to speak my thoughts aloud, I didn't expect to sound softer. If he didn't answer, then I should ignore it. "If you say so," he stepped up a gear and walked beside me. I still noticed that he did it hesitantly as if he didn't want to give up his rank. But we were alone, at least I thought so. As the wind came from the east I smelled a light vanilla scent, it was cold and warm at the same time. I stopped, it had irritated me and looked at the man more closely. My thoughts rattled and suddenly it clicked. Without a doubt, it was the young man from the park. I widened my eyes, quickly turned to the side and pretended to look at the flower tendrils on one of the many arches. The flowers shone in the mild afternoon sun, they were white. When my gaze slid again to my companion, I was puzzled. He didn't seem to have recognised me in any way, or he didn't let on. I looked nervously at the ground, again, I had been doing this more often lately. ''If I may...", he cleared his throat, "I know a good place to think, if you want I'll take you there," he offered kindly.

Why didn't he remember me, was I so unimpressive?

"Yes, I'd be happy to.", I said absently. Apparently, I did mind that I was nothing to him too. Not even a month and I was unimportant to this world, but then again, no one would miss me, would they?

He led me under a weeping willow, the one I had visited with Nicolas on our fake date evening. Immediately, without meaning to, my heart tightened and I felt short of breath as if I were being pulled into the depths by an anchor. I stopped dead in my tracks as a few branches were pulled away from me so that I could walkthrough. I pulled up my skirt and slipped through. I heard rustling behind me, now we were completely sealed off. As if in a trance, everything was spinning, I felt the presence of myself and the other.

"Don't worry, I won't kill you", he stayed close to me, but with enough distance. "It's not about that, I can't enter this place, it doesn't feel right...", I whispered and hastily ran my hair through. I wore my hair up, the wind played softly with the branches of the tree and my heartbeat echoed in my head. He laughed, at that moment he was not a man on duty but the person in the park: "Are you a witch? Do I have to watch out for you?" I thought that was anything but appropriate, I gave him a stern look. "Okay, I get it, you're not cut out for jokes. Is it because of him?" I jerked my head in his direction. From where, how? I swallowed and didn't answer. ''Don't look at me so indignantly, I know all the looks that have to do with him, I have girls to look after every year after all. They may all be different, but they all have one thing in common. What did he do to you?''

Was I so down in the dumps that I was already whining to a stranger who wasn't quite so strange? No, it was my own fault, I had provoked Nicolas, sought distance. For his sake and mine. I was exhausted, too much at once. "Everything's fine with you, you seem so pale. Are you all right, Miss?''

Was there ever a moment in my life when I could sit back, look at my deeds with satisfaction and be glad that I was alive? No, it wasn't. My vision blurred before my eyes. I tried to soften everything, to explain myself to my situation: "It's only because of the sun, which ..."

All I heard was a bang and a thud against my body.