1 Memorial Day

Plot: The Guardians return to Earth unbeknownst to them on Memorial Day, forcing Loki to face the feelings he's been pushing aside.

Tone: Somber (This is basically a spiritual successor to Limits of Mischief. The later chapters are quite different tonally.)

"Remind me again why we're doing this?" Rocket asked, typing on the keypad in his seat.

"Because it's been quiet lately and I wanted us to spend time together," Quill replied, tilting the thrusters forward. Loki barely flinched as the ship zipped forward for a moment before stopping in front of Earth. The blue and green planet glowed in front of them. "Besides, we need fuel, and Earth is the closest planet."

"Why can't we just do something on the ship?" Nebula grunted, rolling her eyes. "Why do we have to watch Footloose?"

"Because it's the greatest movie of all time," Quill replied, guiding the ship toward the planet ahead.

"I beg to differ," Loki replied, lounging in his new seat. "Nothing can top The Empire Strikes Back."

"You prefer Empire to Jedi?" Quill asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Return of the Jedi or The Last Jedi?" Loki asked, tilting his head to the side. "Because Empire is better than both."

"Woah, wait." Quill looked as if he had just learned the secrets of the universe. "They made more Star Wars movies?"

Loki nodded. "Eight more. Three prequels, three sequels, and two stand-alone films. And that's just the movies." The ship was silent for a moment.

"Okay, change of plans, we're watching Star Wars," Quill replied, turning around and pulling a lever to speed the ship toward earth. It drifted forward as Drax, Rocket, and Nebula let out groans of disappointment.

"I am Groot," Groot grunted, eyes still fixed on his video game.

"We don't need to watch that many movies," Drax added, resting his hand on his forehead.

"It's Star Wars, your argument is irrelevant," Loki replied, leaning back in his seat.

"Exactly!" Quill reached back, holding his fist in front of Loki. Smiling, Loki accepted the fist bump.

"What are these 'Star Wars' movies about?" Mantis asked, turning to Loki.

"Space wizards with laser swords," Loki replied with a shrug. Mantis's eyes widened with wonder. Smirking, Loki decided to continue. "They're not wizards like me, all they can do is telekinesis which they call 'the force.' So in the first and best trilogy, this team of rebels attempts to overthrow this evil empire and destroy their planet zapping moon bases."

"Cool!" Mantis exclaimed, leaning forward.

"That sounds really dumb," Nebula grunted, folding her arms.

"It is," Loki admitted with a shrug. "But it's fun nonetheless. I know Tony-" Loki's eyes widened. He looked away, dragging his thoughts away from his friend. "Um… Pepper has all the movies and I'm sure she'd be happy to see us. We could-we could watch them there." Loki looked up to see that everyone was gazing at him, an odd look in their eyes. "What?"

"Loki, are you okay?" Quill asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What do you mean?" Loki asked, twirling his locket around in his fingers. "Of course I'm alright. Why wouldn't I be? Let's head to Earth, shall we?" The others turned around, though the ship was still silent. Quill drove them through the atmosphere. The ship descended ever so slowly toward the ground before landing with a clank. The door opened at the bottom of the ship. Quill stood up first, excitedly sauntering down the ramp. Mantis and Loki trailed after him while the others begrudgingly followed. Loki looked around. A familiar wooden cabin stood in front of them, surrounded by the thick luscious forest. Loki looked down at the ground.

"Maybe we shouldn't be here," he muttered, taking a step back.

"What do you mean?" Quill asked, raising an eyebrow. "Coming to Pepper's house was your idea."

"Yes but…" Loki took a deep breath, looking up to gaze at his friend. "You're right. I just… I probably should've called her before we just showed up like this."

"I'm sure she won't mind," Quill replied, gesturing to the cabin. "Just knock on the door and tell her why we're here."

"Okay," Loki replied, walking up the stairs to the cabin. He was about to knock when something echoed from inside. A voice. Loki pressed his ear against the door.

"We really did lose him too soon." Loki's eyes widened. It was Rhodey's voice.

"He had a lot to live for," another voice replied. It was Happy. Loki had met him at the... funeral.

"What's going on in there?" Nebula asked, stepping up beside Loki.

"I'm not sure," Loki replied, taking a step back. "Rhodey and Happy are over… they're-they're…" Loki turned away, clenching his teeth. "We have to leave. Now."

"Why?" Quill asked, his head tilted to the side. "What's happening?"

"Is there someone outside?" a young girl's voice asked. Loki stiffened.

"Hold on, I'll go see," a woman's voice replied. Before Loki could make a move to leave, the door creaked open. Loki turned around. Pepper was standing at the door, her eyelids red and damp.

"Oh, Loki you're here," she greeted, her voice flat.

"Um… is this a bad time?" Loki asked, taking a step back.

"Oh, no, uh… not exactly…"

"Uncle Loki!" Morgan dashed out of the house, throwing her arms around Loki. His eyes widened.

"Did you teach her to say that?" Loki asked, gesturing to Pepper's daughter. Rocket and Drax snickered to themselves.

Pepper cracked a smile. "Perhaps…" Loki gently pushed Morgan away as he took another step back. "Anyways…" Pepper's smile faded as she continued. "It's Memorial Day so we met up to commemorate Tony." Loki's eyes widened.

"So it is a bad time then," Loki replied, stepping down the stairs to stand beside the Guardians. "S-sorry, we'll come back another time."

"Oh no, i-it's alright," Pepper insisted, ushering Morgan back inside the house. "You can join us if you want."

"Oh, I'd like to but you see me and my friends are very busy." Loki put his arms around Quill and Mantis. "We just stopped here for fuel then we were going to be on our way."

"Dude, you can stay with them," Quill insisted, pushing himself free of Loki's grasp. "We know how close you were to Tony." Loki clenched his teeth.

"Yeah, it's not a big deal," Rocket insisted, gesturing at Loki with his paw. "We can stay for a few days so you can grieve for your friend."

"It does seem like you need to," Mantis insisted, her antennae glowing as she held Loki's hand. He flinched back, his eyes wide.

"What do you know?" he whispered, his eyes narrowed at her.

"That you have been avoiding thinking about everyone you lost." Loki's eyes widened. "I did not have to touch your hand to know that."

"If it's alright." Nebula took a step forward. ��I would like to stay as well. Tony..." She gazed at the ground. "Was a good friend."

"Of course," Pepper replied, dipping her head. "Loki, Nebula, you can come in. We're just talking right now but later we were going to visit the-"

"Burial site…" Loki finished with a sigh. Pepper nodded, gesturing them inside. Loki exchanged a glance with Nebula before obliging and walking inside.

"We'll get fuel and meet you back here," Rocket called, walking off with the rest of the Guardians. Loki closed the door behind them.

"Loki!" Loki cringed at the sudden exclamation, turning to see several people in the living room. Happy, Rhodey, and an old man Loki didn't recognize were sitting on the couch while Clint and Peter sat at the kitchen table and the Bruce/Hulk abomination and Morgan sat on the ground. They all gazed at him.

"Glad you could make it," Peter greeted with a wave.

"Er… yes…. Where is Steve?" Loki asked, his fingers trembling in front of him.

"Right here." The old man on the couch raised his hand. Loki blinked.

"What happened to you?" he asked, gesturing to him.

"When he went back in time to return the infinity stones, he decided to live through that time instead of immediately returning," Bruce explained, gesturing his hands. Loki didn't understand any of that.

"Here, come sit over here," Peter called, gesturing to him. Loki glanced at Nebula. The two of them walked into the kitchen, pulling up chairs beside Peter and sitting down. Loki glanced at the table. Bouquets of flowers covered every inch of the tabletop.

"What are these for?" Loki asked, pointing at the flowers.

"They're for the grave," Clint replied, pushing them forward a bit. Loki cringed. "Why didn't you bring any?"

Loki's eyes widened. "Oh, uh…!" Loki summoned a bouquet of yellow roses, each tipped with red. The others raised their eyebrows.

"What?" Loki asked, putting the flowers at the top of the pile. "They're for friendship."

"It's okay," Clint replied, patting Loki's shoulder. "Everyone knows you had a crush on him."

Loki's cheeks reddened. "How did you know that?"

"You literally kissed him before he died," Peter replied, making Loki's face heat up even more. "We kind of figured it out." Loki covered his face with his hand.

"Why did I do that? His wife was right there, what was I thinking?" Loki mumbled to himself. Nebula rested her hand on his shoulder.

"Aunt Nebbie!" Morgan called, dashing toward the blue lady and throwing her arms around her. Nebula looked at the child, her gaze softened as she patted Morgan's head. Loki smiled a bit.

"Alright." Pepper walked toward the table, picking up a bouquet of red roses. "Now that you're here, Loki, we can go."

"You were waiting for me?" Loki asked, raising an eyebrow.

Pepper nodded. "I figured you got that message I sent you on that communicator you gave me." Loki titled his head to the side. He summoned his communicator with a flick of his wrist, turning it on to see that he had one unread message… from Pepper. Loki's face heated with embarrassment.

"Yes… That's right," Loki replied, standing up and taking the flowers in his hands. The others followed his lead. Loki trailed after Pepper, his eyes fixed on his flowers. The petals shook like a tree about to fall. Loki clenched his jaw. His eyes watered, though he forced himself to focus on the flowers: each petal, each leaf. He let out a sigh. Tears rolled down his cheeks, unnoticed by those walking around him.

"I can't avoid this," Loki muttered to himself. "But I can't…" If you keep holding back, you'll never be who you were meant to be. Loki's eyes widened as his mother's words echoed in his mind. Everyone skidded to a halt. Loki stopped beside them, gazing with teary eyes to see the place Tony had been buried. More tears rained down his face.

Blinking hard, he cringed as memories of that day flooded back to him. He remembered every detail. It was the final battle with Thanos and Loki had fought by Tony's side for most of it. Then Thanos got his hands on the gauntlet. Carol had first attempted and was nearly successful at dragging the gauntlet away. Then Loki attempted, only to be thrown aside and forced to watch powerlessly as Tony stole the infinity stones and snapped to turn Thanos and his army to dust. The flash had nearly blinded him. Loki shivered, his eyes wide as images of Tony's lifeless burned body surged into his mind. It was already too late when he found him. Tony couldn't even look him in the eye, let alone talk so mere moments before his death, Loki had kissed his cheek. Loki didn't know what compelled him to do that. Sure, he had feelings for him, feelings he barely understood, but he had never felt any will to act on them, even after he found out. What was I thinking? Or was I even thinking at all?

"Loki." Nebula's voice in his ear snapped him back to the present moment. He glanced at her, eyes wide. She gestured to the grave, where several bouquets of flowers now laid.

"Oh…" Loki stepped forward, kneeling down to place the flowers among the others.

"Should we head back to the house?" Bruce suggested from the crowd. Loki glanced at the others, wiping away some tears.

"Can I um…" Loki forced his voice to remain steady. "Stay for a few minutes or so?"

"Of course," Pepper replied with a nod. She gazed at the others, who were all nodding to Loki. Pepper gazed at her daughter. "Morgan, you can go with the others if you want. I'm going to stay with Loki for now." Morgan nodded. She and Happy turned and made their way back to the house. Nebula went in another direction. Steve, Bruce, and Clint, still holding one more bouquet each, made their way deeper into the forest. Probably for Natasha's grave. Peter, Pepper, and Rhodey sat beside Loki, all gazing at the grave. Loki forced back sobs. However, tears still continued to roll down his cheeks soundlessly.

"You've been pushing it aside too, huh?" Peter murmured to Loki. He gazed at the child, his eyes wide.

"I suppose so," Loki admitted, resting his hand on his pounding heart. "I just… I wanted to move on. The last thing I ever said to Tony was that I would feel better one day but I still don't."

"I get what you mean," Peter replied, nodding. "I've been trying to focus on school so I don't end up thinking about him, but it doesn't work." He paused to sigh. "It just makes me feel worse."

"That's because you're trying too hard not to think about him," Rhodey replied, running his finger over one of the flower petals. "It's only been a month, we're allowed to grieve."

"But what if we never stop grieving?" Loki asked, wiping away more tears.

"We never will," Pepper replied, a sob breaking past her lips. Loki's eyes widened. "Every morning I wake up and remember that day…" She took a deep breath, tears streaming down her face. "But… it will get better… with time." Loki gazed at Pepper for a moment. He thought back to Frigga and Thor, his heart aching. However, no tears formed.

"I wish we didn't have to feel this way," Loki sighed, pushing a lock of his hair behind his ear.

"Me too," Rhodey sighed, wiping away a tear. "But we have to, or else we'll never move on." Loki gazed at him. He's right….

"But how can I move on? Tony stopped me from…" Loki looked away. "From doing something I'd regret, even though he didn't realize it at first. He saved my life, then he changed my life."

"I owe him a lot too," Peter added with a sigh. "It's because of him that I became an Avenger. I got the suit, I helped save the world." He paused to sigh. "But if he's gone, then what's the point? It's like I failed him…"

"You didn't fail," Loki insisted, resting his hand on Peter's shoulder. "His death wasn't your fault. None of us are to blame, Thanos is." The others shivered at that name while Loki's heart blazed with rage. Then he sighed. He gazed at his locket, pulling it open to gaze at the picture inside. Loki's eyes watered. His thoughts wandered back to the past…

Loki had woken up from yet another nightmare about Thanos killing Tony. He dashed into the living room, tears in his eyes. Tony and Pepper were sitting in the living room while a three-year-old Morgan sat on the ground playing with her toys.

"Good morning, God of Sleep," Tony greeted with a wave. His smile faded. Loki looked away, his hair covering his tear-filled gaze.

"Are you okay?" Pepper asked, concern lacing her tone.

"Can I speak with Tony… alone?" Loki asked, forcing his voice to remain steady as his lip quivered. There was a brief silence.

"Sure," Tony eventually replied, getting up off the couch. The two of them walked back to Loki's room, shutting the door behind them and sitting down on the edge of the bed. Loki couldn't meet his friend's gaze.

"What happened?" Tony asked, his voice soft.

"It was just a dream," Loki immediately replied, covering his eyes with his hand. "But it keeps happening… I… I…" Loki let out a sigh. "I keep seeing you die. At the hands of… Thanos…" He met Tony's gaze, shaking as he continued. "Tony, it doesn't matter what happens. I'm going to outlive you. I… I can't take it." Loki's forehead fell on Tony's shoulder.

"Hey, you haven't lost me yet," Tony murmured, resting his hands on Loki's back. "And you won't anytime soon. I'm pretty hard to get rid of." Tony smiled.

"You don't understand," Loki sighed, turning away.

"You're right," Tony admitted, resting his hand on Loki's shoulder. "I don't. I can't imagine what it's like for you, knowing you'll outlive everyone you love one day, but you can't change it so why focus on it?"

"Because I'll have to eventually."

"But that time isn't now." Tony paused for a moment before continuing. "Hey, I've got an idea. Let's put on a movie or something. That'll take your mind off this."

"Tony, I don't know-"

"I'll let you pick," Tony insisted, gesturing to the shelf. Loki sighed but obliged, walking to the shelf and grabbing one of the Star Wars cases.

"Empire?" Tony asked, raising an eyebrow.

"What? It's my favourite one."

Tony scoffed. "Nothing beats the original."

"In other cases, yes, but Empire clearly defined the Star Wars trilogy. It turned one small story into a much bigger story in a more detailed world. We have Empire to thank for defining Star Wars… and creating Imperial March."

Tony smiled. "Fair point."

Loki's lip twitched up. The group sat there in silence until the sky had turned pink and orange with the sunset.

"I should head back," Pepper sighed, pushing herself to her feet. "Morgan is probably getting hungry. Loki, do you want to stay for dinner?"

"Sure," he replied, standing up beside her.

"I'll head home too," Peter added, letting out a sigh. "Aunt May will want me back."

Rhodey said nothing as he nodded and stood up. The four of them made their way through the forest, heads hung low as they walked back toward the cabin. Loki stopped. He watched Peter and Rhodey walk toward a cluster of cars. Pepper pushed the door open. Loki trailed after her, spotting Happy and Morgan on the couch. After exchanging a few words with Pepper, Happy left the house, leaving Loki, Morgan, and Pepper alone.

"Mommy, I'm hungry," Morgan informed, rubbing her stomach.

"What do you want to eat?" Pepper asked, kneeling in front of her to look into her daughter's eyes.

"Pizza," Morgan answered, her voice low.

Pepper let out a sigh. "I'm not sure if we can have pizza tonight, honey… It's a very far drive."

"Aw, man," Morgan sighed, her lips pursed with disappointment.

"Actually, you don't have to drive anywhere." Loki sat down at the kitchen table. With a flick of his hand, two pizzas appeared on the table, one with tomatoes and spinach and the other barren of toppings. Morgan's eyes lit up.

"Yay! Pizza! Thank you Uncle Loki!" she cheered, sitting in one of the chairs and struggling to reach for a slice. Pepper sat down beside her. Smiling, she grabbed a couple of slices for herself then put two on Morgan's plate.

"They're cold!" Morgan gasped, grabbing a slice.

"Oh… sorry…" The pizza felt normal to Loki as he picked up a slice. "I like it cold."

"Do you want me to warm it up in the microwave?" Pepper asked, picking up Morgan's plate.

"No, no!" Morgan called, reaching toward the plate. Pepper put it back down. Tony's daughter immediately began snarfing down her pizza, getting sauce and cheese everywhere. Loki smiled, his eyes watering slightly. He gazed at his locket, then back at Morgan. She has his hair… and similar habits… Loki looked away, wiping away the beginnings of a tear before taking another bite of pizza. Once he was done, he sat on the couch with a sigh. He gazed intently at his mixtape, scrolling through songs when Pepper sat down beside him.

"You see it too don't you?" she murmured.

"See what?" Loki asked, raising an eyebrow at her.

"The resemblance," Pepper explained, gesturing to Morgan, who sat in front of them on the ground with a toy of the Millenium Falcon. Loki's eyes widened.

"Yes," he sighed, looking away. "I only really noticed it today but… now when I look at her…" Loki gazed at his locket. "I see him."

"Uncle Loki!" Morgan held the Millenium Falcon in front of her. "Do you know what this ship is?"

Loki was silent for a moment, his eyes wide. "Th-that's the Millenium Falcon," he explained, looking away. "Han Solo and Chewbacca's ship."

"Can you make it fly?" Morgan asked, moving the toy ship toward him. Loki's heart skipped a beat.

��Well, I don't normally use my telekinesis unless it's a dire situation because it may give away my location-"

"Please!" Morgan begged, clasping her hands together.

Loki let out a sigh. "Alright, alright." He extended his hand toward the toy Millenium Falcon, easily lifting it off the ground. Morgan cheered. Loki smiled, moving his hand around to lead the ship around in several different directions. He did this for a while before putting the ship down.

"Alright, I should go check on my friends," he insisted, pushing himself off the couch.

"Aw man," Morgan grunted with disappointment.

"How long were you guys planning to stay on earth?" Pepper asked, standing up beside Loki.

"A few days or so." Loki cracked a smile. "Quill wanted to watch Star Wars."

"Ooh! Ooh!" Morgan jumped up, putting the Millenium Falcon aside. "Can I watch with you?"

"Not tonight," Pepper replied, scooping her daughter into her arms, "It's almost your bedtime."

Morgan let out a disappointed sigh. "Okay, mommy."

"We can do that tomorrow," Pepper replied, glancing at Loki. "Which of them were you planning to watch?"

"All of them." Pepper's eyes widened. "Maybe excluding the first two prequels…"

"We can figure that out tomorrow," Pepper replied, turning and making her way up the stairs. Loki nodded and pushed the front door open. He closed it behind him. The leaves above blocked out the stars, which shined as bright as diamonds. Loki's mind once again drifted away.

Loki was standing on the balcony, staring up at the night sky, eyes wide with wonder, as if he was looking at it for the first time because to him, he was. With no artificial light plaguing the night sky, the stars shined brighter than ever. A huge line of them snaked across the sky, shining a bright red and blue, looking as if the galaxy itself was shining down on Earth.

"First time looking at the stars?" Loki flinched as Tony's voice sounded from behind him. He glanced at him, smiling.

"Well, I've seen them before but never like this," Loki replied, looking back at the sky. "It's so… bright… and clear."

"Yeah," Tony added with a nod. He stepped up to stand beside Loki on the balcony. "They look even better by the lake. It's pretty cold tonight or I'd show you."

"It's not that cold," Loki insisted, sliding the door open. "Come on, show me."

"Alright," Tony replied, walking back into the house. He grabbed a coat and the two of them made their way out into the forest. They stopped just in front of the lake. Loki's eyes widened. The stars reflected on the surface of the lake, lighting up the entire forest around them with bright hues of blue and red. A single leaf drifted onto the lake, sending a single ripple through the water.

"I love it," Loki admitted, his voice breathless.

Tony chuckled. "You know, I never took you as someone to appreciate Earth's beauty," he replied, nudging Loki's shoulder.

Loki smiled, sitting down in front of the lake. "I suppose I never took the time to." Loki traced his finger across the surface of the lake, smiling at the cool feeling of the water and gazing at the ripples that appeared. He breathed out, his cold breath invisible within the cold air around him.

"How are you not cold?" Tony asked, his breath visible in the night air.

"I'm a god," he scoffed, nudging Tony's shoulder. "I'm more resistant to the cold than you humans are."

"Well, I'm going back to the house," Tony replied, shivering as he stood up. "You can stay out here for a while if you want. Maybe we'll go camping one of these days when Morgan is older."

"I'd like that," he replied, smiling. Loki looked back at the lake as Tony turned and left.

Loki smiled at the memory, even as tears streamed down his face.

"Hey, Lokes!" a voice called. Loki turned to see Quill, Mantis, and Drax approaching him from the dark. "We got the fuel for the ship," Quill informed, stopping in front of him. "We have enough to last us quite a while."

"Good, good." Loki looked around, surprised to see that they were alone in the forest. "Wait, where are Rocket, Nebula, and Groot?"

"I uh…" Quill looked away, smiling cheekily. "Asked them if they could make Wi-Fi work on the ship."

Loki chuckled. "So you've finally discovered the wonders of the Internet?"

"Oh my gosh, yes!" Quill gasped, his eyes bright like the stars. "Why didn't you tell me about it before? It's amazing! There's so much music on there and no limit! I can listen or watch or read anything in the world an instant after it's put on there!"

"He's been enamored with the Internet since that man in town showed us a 'G-P-S,'" Drax informed his tone flat.

"We talked with that man for hours," Mantis explained, stepping closer to Loki. "We saw the YouTube and the Twitter before the man told us to figure it out on our own."

"I've used those websites, I can show them to you once it's set up," Loki offered, smiling to them.

"Thanks!" Quill exclaimed, stepping toward him. "But first… you, uh, still up for Star Wars?"

"Of course," Loki replied, walking toward the ship. "We should go in the order they are made. So we'll start with the original trilogy. A New Hope, The Empire Strikes Back, and then Return of the Jedi. As for the prequels, we could probably skip Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clone-."

"Woah, woah, woah. Skip?" Quill skidded to a halt on the stairs.

"Uh… yes. The prequels aren't very good apart from-"

Quill glared at Loki. "Look, I don't care if they're bad, we're not skipping any Star Wars movies." Loki's eyes widened.

"Um… Alright then." Loki smirked. He'll have to learn the hard way like I did. "After that, are the sequels and the stand-alones. We can figure out what order to watch those in when we get to them. We can start tomorrow with Pepper and Morgan."

"Great!" Quill replied, clasping his hands together. "For now, let's get back to the ship. The others might want help with the Wi-Fi." Loki nodded. They trailed after Quill toward the ship, which was a while away in the forest. Mantis walked by Loki's side.

"You seem to be in a better mood."

"For now I suppose," Loki replied, with a shrug. Mantis inched closer. Loki's eyes widened when their hands brushed together. He moved it away. "Were you…?" Loki looked away, his heart pounding. "T-trying to read my emotions?"

"Uh…" Mantis looked away.

"You could've just asked me if you wanted to know," Loki replied, moving his hand back to his side and taking a step away. "I'm still grieving over Tony, I'll never stop but it will get easier with time." He met Mantis's gaze. "Like it did with Thor and Frigga."

"That is good that you have realized that," Mantis replied with a nod. Loki nodded back and the group made their way into the ship.

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