15 The Ditzy Daoist and the Black Bear Yokai

I feel this situation is a little dangerous.

Every bit of Sun Wukong's face is saying: Guanyin has gone too far to collude with yokais; Sure enough you guys planned to steal that kasaya and I even trusted you; there is not one single good guy in deities.

Although Huian is not talking, I know he is thinking: I am going to beat this yokai Daoist and then beat that black bear yokai. If shifu doesn't get mad after that, I will also go into the gang fight among their followers.

As for that little Daoist, he is more trouble. When I preached to him in the past, I didn't have a disciple so I could be easygoing. Now I am afraid that if he tells people that I have shown him my dick to lecture him, I will be in trouble.

My disciple never learns to be good. I don't want him to be specialized in learning bad after knowing this and then flub every future preach!

I think that since this little Daoist is a time bomb, I should be careful to not let him speak that out and close his mouth.

*Sigh*, why did I want to seek this trouble? I should have let Sun Wukong kill him.

Now if he doesn't die here, he will one day uncover my dark history in front of these two disobedient kids. It is not a dark history technically, but these two spoiled kids of mine can spread their twisted facts easily.

I have said it when I met prime minister Xiao that it is fine if I walk naked but the Heavenly King Li may not be able to accept his son walks naked as well.

Now I am the shifu of him. Even though I insist that I have done it right, but if the Heavenly King Li hears about it or he finds out that his son preaches to people in the way I did, he will probably fall in a swoon and not wake up again.

I was thinking and Sun Wukong walks out and pulls another sleeve of mine. He says: 'Let's talk elsewhere. Let's talk elsewhere. Little Xingzhe, don't you want to discuss some Buddhist ideas with him?'

After that, he drags me away.

Sun Wukong detours to the back of the hillside and says: 'Bodhisattva, you must not have known that this Daoist was in a meeting with that black bear yokai and a white snake yokai. I killed that white snake yokai after their talk, but this Daoist doesn't know it.'

I say: 'You have heard him saying that he has a lot of yokai friends in the mountain.'

Sun Wukong says: 'That black bear yokai stole my kasaya. This Daoist must be the companion! Let me kill this Daoist first and we shall look for that black bear yokai after!'

I finally stop him: 'Why are you going to kill again? You have seen that there is a fate between I and the little Daoist. It was my wisdom that enlightened him to be a Xian, although he has gone to Daoism while I am in Buddhism. He cultivates in the right way and he hasn't eaten any humans. He also holds Buddhist conferences with his frien... other yokais. He has a fate with Buddhism.'

Sun Wukong gets mad: 'Your words cause me a headache! How can you be more talkative than my shifu? Listen, one thud to kill all is the best solution!'

...kill kill kill, you only know to kill!

Go ahead and I am not going to care.

He sees that I am going back to Nanhai with Huian and he is afraid that without my help he will not be able to get the kasaya back and will be casted the headache spell by his shifu. He jumps and cracks some rocks, chasing after us: 'Bodhisattva, please forgive me. I am used to fighting and killing and I don't know other things. Please feel pity for my stone head and don't leave me behind.'

I ask him: 'Tell me what you want.'

Sun Wukong says: 'If bodhisattva says this Daoist cannot die, I will not beat him. How about this? Let little brother Huian hold this Daoist here and we transform to that Daoist's looking to search for the black bear yokai. He always hides in the cave that I couldn't fight him. As soon as he opens the gate, I will teach him a lesson!'

I cannot change his mind and I say to him: 'I will be Lingxu Xianren (the Daoist), and you will be the Xiandan on the plate. Just do some actions in his stomach after that black bear yokai eats the Xiandan. This will make him obedient. What do you think?'

Sun Wukong is happy and says: 'Good good good! Let's do it!'

I inwardly call Huian in a distant: 'Hold that Daoist back. We will be back soon.'

Just after my order, I hear Huian talking to that Daoist: 'Chatting is not fun. Let's fight.'

...

I also hear that Lingxu Daoren says: 'Ayy, fighting or killing is not good...Ayyy? Why are you hitting my head? Why are you so different from your shifu?'

Huian says: 'What is the difference? I am enlightening you. If you don't want to miss this chance, just fight me with your weapon.'

Lingxu Daoren feels wronged and says: 'A fight can enlighten me?'

Huian says: 'Yes. One fight and you will not fall into the nether world ever.'

My disciple clearly has a more mysterious way of preaching!

My original thought was to let him educate this Lingxu Daoren who plays with yokais all day long with our Buddhist power, but Huian only has fighting on his mind. He totally abandons the basic Buddhist rule of talk first and then fight.

Now bringing back the kasaya is more important and we don't have time to watch how Huian is preaching. I transform to Lingxiao Daoren's looking with a glass plate in my hands. Sun Wukong transforms to a Xiandan on the plate and we go to knock on that cave gate together.

A small yokai of the Black Wind Cave opens the gate right after he recognizes me as a friend of his king. He says: 'Daozhang (A respectful way to address a Daoist), a few days ago that monkey killed the old monk in the Guanyin temple and beat our white snake king to death. Now our king has lost two friends in a row. How sad he is!'

Before I can say anything, that black bear yokai rushes out from the cave. His ink-black body hair makes him look like a big chunk of coal. A pair of black eyes are flashing with tears. He reached out his furry bear palms to hug me and cries: 'Dear friend! Little White and the old man have been killed by that Sun Wukong! He even claims to beat me in front of the cave!'

I don't know what to say and I recall the way this Daoist talks. He is really the ditzy kind, so I comfort him: 'Don't worry. It is okay. Sun Wukong cannot compete against you.'

The black bear yokai wipes his tears and says: 'Although he cannot kill me, I cannot kill him either. How inhumane that monkey is! I was hungry during the fight and he wouldn't let me go back to eat first! He scares me everyday at the gate and I cannot even eat well!'

...

You really like to eat.

The black bear yokai aggrievedly says: 'I have told him that I would go back to the fight after I ate, but he didn't listen to me. Why didn't he want to go back and eat as well? We could fight again with a full belly. He insisted on having me fighting with a hungry belly. He said that he never acted like me when he was under the Five Element Mountain for five-hundred years. He is a monkey and I am a bear; how can we be the same?'

...

I have no choice but to say: 'Don't be too stubborn. If this monkey bothers you everyday, are you going to be not able to eat well everyday? Why don't you return the kasaya?'

The black bear yokai says: 'Ayyy, I don't want to hide from you. I was greedy, so I took this kasaya. You always teach us how good Buddhism is, but I don't understand those thingies. Everytime in the meeting, it is you and white snake discussing about Buddhism and I am like a countryman who cannot join the elite talk. I think if I have this kasaya, I will be an upper class yokai and I will be able to join your discussion. Who knows that I can cause such trouble?'

...

You are really cute.

Wait a minute. Your character setting is not what I know from other bear yokais.

I am walking with him into the cave and he puffs his belly with madness: 'This monkey is really bad. I have never seen such an evil yokai! I am so mad. I am really going mad.'

What else can I say?

I have no choice but to say: 'I refined this Xiandan especially for you. It can cure all unhappiness. I am sure you will be happy after one Xiandan.'

The black bear yokai looks at me and he swallows two Xiandan with his appreciating tears: 'Dear friend, you treat me so nice!'

Before he can finish his words, Sun Wukong is causing trouble in his stomach. The black bear yokai rolls on the ground because of the pain. He looks at me aggrievedly: 'What can I do? I feel pain in my stomach! Do you have other Xiandan to cure my stomachache?'

...At this time, you are still concerned about food?

Sun Wukong shouts in his stomach: 'Black bear yokai! If you don't return my shifu's kasaya, I will beat a hole out in your stomach!'

The black bear yokai is shocked and gets closer to me: 'Dear friend, that monkey is in my stomach! What can I do!'

...You still haven't realized that I am not your dear friend?

Certainly, having many yokais is not good because they don't have a brain.

In order to let him understand the situation faster, I transform to my original image. I say to him: 'I am not your dear friend. I cannot help you either unless you return the kasaya to Sun Wukong. If he opens a hole in your stomach, your years of cultivation will be wasted.'

The black bear finally understands the situation and he is obviously in pain, covering his belly. He hurries and calls his followers: 'Go, go bring that kasaya here! Give it to them!'

Sun Wukong is not coming out from his stomach without seeing the kasaya. Finally, a small yokai gives the kasaya to me.

I say to Sun Wukong: 'Monkey, come out. The kasaya is back.'

Sun Wukong gets out from black bear yokai's stomach and he thuds at the head of the black bear yokai right after. He sneers: 'I will kill you the black bear who stole the kasaya! Today I will make your head broken, your blood flowing out, your chest open and your stomach bursted! I will then skin your bear body to sew clothes for my shifu and stir fry your bear palm to fill my teeth gaps!'

At this moment, a happy voice comes from outside. Obviously, it is that ditzy Daoist coming back: 'Big black! You wouldn't know who I just met! I just met Guanyin bodhisattva! Bodhisattva is so nice that he let his disciple enlighten me!'

...

Time seems to be thickened in a flash.

I look at Sun Wukong's cudgel up high in the air and look at the black bear being tortured on the ground, and then look at the ditzy Daoist who bounces in from the gate. I have a terrible feeling.