31 Huian's Tears

When Huian told me this story, he called Jingzhe the little fox and Shiqi the little little fox. In the middle of the story, he didn't even remember which was what. It was a miracle that I understood it.

Later, he told me that the foxes had names. The older one was called Jingzhe and the younger one was called Shiqi.

I: ???

Why didn't you just tell me their names?

Huian looks at me seriously: "No, because they were both foxes. If I called them by their names, shifu might think they were humans or such..."

Please know which will cause a greater confusion...

So, he continues to talk about the things of the little fox and the little little fox. I almost want to go over there and kick off his lotus flower and watch him sink into the abyss.

Anyway, after he talks over and over about the perfect plan he made to trick me, he suddenly becomes silent. He stops saying anything and the story ends.

I say: "Although it was annoying that you tricked me, you did a good thing. At least, you revived the eyesight of Shiqi."

Huian sits there quietly for a long time. He softly says: "I didn't."

He looks up at me with his tired eyes, croaking: "Shifu, I always thought humans were too heartless. Sons kill fathers. Fathers kill sons. They can be enemies when there is hate. Then, after I met that fox, I have come to know that animals go even further than humans."

"Although Jingzhe was greedy and stole the Dan medicines and elixirs, I didn't expect to know his true self. He was born to be cruel and it took me a long time to discover it. He never wanted to take care of his brother for nothing. Just because Shiqi was a dumb one and he knew nothing, he trusted his brother with all his affection, but he didn't know that Jingzhe was just waiting for his cultivation to mature and take it away from him! Just because he was born with nine tails."

"Humans don't hurt brothers and sisters no matter how ruthless they are. That day after Jingzhe stole the Dan medicines and elixirs, he solidified a drop of water from the bottle and installed it on his ring just to show others how great he was. He tricked deities and stole Dan medicines. He was equal to Qitian Dasheng Sun Wukong."

Tears fall down from Huian's eyes as he is speaking: "I hated him so much so I left Nanhai to hunt him down. I wouldn't let it go. I should at least get the water back to revive Shiqi's eyesight. He was smarter than I thought he was. When I caught him, he begged me to spare his life for the sake of Shiqi. I beat him almost to death and left him in the wild. He wasn't hurt as much as I thought. Once I turned around, he ran away to the stream where Shiqi rested. He swallowed Shiqi to recover. His cultivation became ten times more than his previous cultivation."

When the words are coming to an end, his voice is getting lower like autumn rain stopping. He looks at me and asks: "Shifu, in this world, what is right and what is wrong? Should I kill or should I leave them alive? If I didn't want to help Shiqi, Jingzhe would not have the chance. If I was cruel enough to kill Jingzhe, Shiqi wouldn't have been swallowed. I had learned cause-and-effect, but why is it like this? I just wanted to help. Was that a mistake as well?"

"If I didn't appear in Shiqi's life, he might have succeeded in transforming to a bird. Although he was blind, he could have gained a pair of wings. Now we were both hurt and neither of us gained. Even the reflection of the moon in the water has been broken by waves. Nothing is left."

I can't even tell him clearly why the world is like this.

Their friendship had a good start but not a good ending.

No matter humans or deities, they are both trapped in this unavoidable storm, flowing forward.

If someone asks this of Buddha, he will use his typical words to annoy people: He is your fate and you just cannot avoid.

As if fate doesn't want us to live well, it always force pain and suffering on us when we are happy so that we will sincerely worship deities.

But how about deities? They are in a mess as well.

I have no idea how to answer his question so I just comfort him: "Your kindness is good, but it was used by an evil being. Things happened in this world is like a reincarnation. One is hurt and he will bring this wound to others. As soon as he sees others, he reminds himself that everyone is bad. Later, his wound gets infected and he is turned into the one who hurt him in the past. I hope you can jump out of this reincarnation and harm no more of yourself."

Suddenly, I feel something went wrong. I recall what he told me: "No, you said you had broken the precepts of no killing, no sex, no greed, but this fox didn't even have a human shape. How did you..."

I stop asking this question immediately and begin to look at my disciple in a new way. I look over him: Wow, he has such a taste...

Huian looks at me confused and he sees that I suddenly step back. He asks: "What?"

I just couldn't believe it that my disciple has such courage. I think that he will soon become an example for Buddha to propaganda for the equality of love across species. That old man must love it: Great love has nothing to do with appearance...

I say: "Deities from the Li family are all courageous ones..."

Huian is scared by my shocked looking for a long while. Then, he realizes what is in my mind. He suddenly cannot breathe and just keeps coughing. He fails to speak a full sentence. He just glares at me with his eyes. He is disabled and cannot move. This constant coughing has caused great pain to him and his face is twisted. He cannot even say a syllable.

I look at him with emotion: "Huian ah, you know, shifu will not be prejudiced..."

Right after this, Huian almost dies from coughing. He rolls his eyes and swallows the blood back.

I pat his back and say: "It is okay. It is okay. I don't have speciesism..."

His lips tremble and he bites on my wrist. I almost bleed.

...Brat! Is your zodiac Dog?

He finally gets his breath back and gives me a mad look: "Shifu! You--"

I carefully examine his looking and ask: "Shiqi or Jingzhe?"

Huian wants to kill himself and shouts: "Neither!"

After a long while, he says sadly: "My father has arranged a match for me."

Then, he looks at me timidly: "I...I shouldn't have told you this. My father said that the Western Paradise would not let me return to the secluded life to do secluded things, so he decided to let me break precepts first and force the Western Paradise to exile me."

...Brat, you must have misunderstood the definition of no sex.

I ask him: "Do you like her?"

He says: "I didn't even see her."

...What does no sex mean to you?

But I cannot lecture him what is no sex right now, he is sad. I need to say good words to comfort him first.

I have long been nagged by Manjusri about this but I didn't know the Heavenly King Li had planned for so long. He even has decided the date and is going to force me to do what he wants by inviting lots of deities to the wedding. Good, this dude is refreshing my tolerance level of his action everyday.

I ask him: "Since your father has always wanted you to go secluded, why did he send you to me? If you were not in Buddhism, how could things go so far?"

Huian says softly: "He didn't know Nezha could come back alive when he sent me here. That day after he killed Nezha, Nezha's soul came to Western Paradise to beg Buddha. Buddha made a lotus root body for him and brought him back to life. You know, the pagoda he always has on hand was gifted by Buddha to him in order to protect him from Nezha. Now both of his good sons are in Western Paradise and the only one staying in his army is Nezha, the one who hates him and wants to kill him. My father couldn't sleep well and has to be on guard against Nezha every day, living with the pagoda..."

Huian suddenly stops talking. He looks at me with bitter eyes, smiling: "Father said, he would exchange me with Nezha. Nezha will be shifu's disciple. Anyway, no one wanted me since I was born. Shifu won't want me because I am just a useless troublesome sweeper. Nezha has graduated from Taiyi Zhenren. He has three heads and six arms. He has the Red Armillary Sash on his shoulders and the Wind Fire Wheels on his feet. He is much better than me a useless loser who can do nothing but sweep the leaf--"

I couldn't keep listening to this so I just stop him: "Okay enough."

Huian: "???"

I say: "This bottle is yours. The willow branch is yours. All the treasures in Nanhai are yours. I don't believe that the disciple of me the Nanhai Guanyin cannot compete with the disciple of that stupid old man Taiyi Zhenren!"

Huian: "..."

At first, I wasn't sure if he was really feeling inferior or was learning from Sun Wukong. He sobs: "Nezha has three heads and six arms..."

...

This bad Sun Wukong has led my disciple to be bad.

I say: "It is okay. You also have Shancai and Longnv to back you up. If someone bullies you, I will ask Shancai and Longnv to support you."

Huian: "..."

Obviously he doesn't dare to say anything after my words. He completely shuts up.

I ask him: "Actually your father doesn't have to do this. If he wants you back, he can just come to talk to me. Why would he force me? Also, it is you who is going to make the last decision. If you want to lead a troop under your father, I will let you go as well. I don't need Nezha to be my disciple. Western Paradise is different from heaven. I don't need a son to take care of me when I get old. I will not use my disciple as a tool like he uses his sons. Just tell me, do you want to go back?"

Huian shakes his head blankly: "I don't know."

"Shifu, I don't know."

"I cannot resist my parents. I have seen what my younger brother endured. I am not him. I don't have the courage to peel off my flesh and give it back, but I am not happy either. I don't want to be pressed down forever and to be not able to look up. I want to see the wrong and the right with my own eyes. They wouldn't give me such a freedom."

"I thought this mountain named parents would go away once I joined Buddhism, but now I have realized that this mountain has already curved my back."

At the end, he just smiles hopelessly: "I killed the white fox anyway. I have broken the precept of no killing. I am afraid that shifu will not be able to keep me now."

I say: "Don't be silly, my kid."

If I don't say it, he will probably be trapped in this worldly illusion forever.

I take out my bottle and dip the water in it with my willow branch. I swing the branch at the corpse of the mountain-like white fox and say: "You still have not seen through the illusion of this world."

As the water drops fly by, the corpse finally shows its true self like a flower withers in no time, leaving a dry skin.

I say: "He knew that he couldn't beat you so he skinned himself alive and ran away, leaving his skin on piles of withered leaf as a pretend."

"Huian, your mind has only loving-kindness and passion, but his cruelty and evil are beyond your ability."

I lift up the bloody fox skin right away to show him the rotten leaves beneath: "See? These are just piles of rotten leaves. He put the lotus petal on this skin and he ran away. Although his look was ruined, he survived."

Huian glares his eyes big, looking at these rotten leaves. He gets so mad and he coughs blood: "I shall find this beast out!"

I shake my head: "No use."

"You were wounded too much to notice that lotus petal you picked. You thought this fox had died."

Huian is lost in thoughts.

I say: "It endured the extreme pain and managed to steal your lotus petal before he ran away. Even I will not be able to see his traces. Huian, you still have a long way to go before you fully understand yokais."

"To be honest, though this yokai is cruel and degrading, I respect his courage to skin himself alive. He dares to steal from deities. He was able to hide his true self from you for hundreds of years in order to trick you. With such a personality, he will soon cause more trouble to himself."

I look at Huian and suddenly I say: "Even a fox down there is trying its best to change its fate, what about you? Are you going to bend for your father from now on? I don't think so."

"Guanyin Bodhisattva's disciple. No one can force him to give up."