2 An Honest Man-eater

Long before I go to pick disciples for the scriptures taker, I need to clarify many things.

During that meeting in Western Paradise with Tathagata Buddha, we planned to talk about issues about the scriptures taker.

Hmmm, we want to get more followers, but we cannot just give away our scriptures which is not a good thing to do. In fact, the Tathagata Buddha gave the scriptures to China once in the past and he was not welcomed.

According to him, those Chinese at that time period did not have the Buddhist potential. They were the worst potential followers ever. They were not only stupid, but they also defamed Buddhism. Their neglect to Buddhism was a slight. Anyway, now they have to find a scriptures taker to bring the Buddhism scriptures back after eighty-one adventurous difficulties.

You know. People don't value things which are easy to get.

Since everyone in the Western Paradise has lived for too long and no one has a sense of time. If the meeting strays from the original point, it will stray and get back to the original point after hundreds of years. If the meeting strays further, thousands of years are needed to get back to the original point.

As a result, the topic of the scriptures taker from China has become my image problem in the East.

There are a few possibilities of my gender under the disproportioned propaganda by the Buddhist Propaganda Committee.

One, I am a female.

Two, I am a guy but I have a female face.

Three, I have no gender because Buddhism treats everything equally.

The Tathagata Buddha is prone to the last idea. It is said that he planned to make me a neutral image to represent gender equality.

The problem is that I was a guy already when he had that thought. If he wanted to remould me, he would need to do some secret changes with lots of effort.

*Sigh*. When we first founded Buddhism, no one had expected it to spread so widely. No one expected that the content of Buddhist rumors was gradually changed one after one.

The problem is that, I am a guy in India and I am a woman in the East. This makes me feel awkward because people can accept a deity to be neutral but not to be having both genders.

The Tathagata Buddha was going to make this change, but later he gave up because he thought it was unfair for me. If he had done it, it would make me look like a mascot of Buddhism.

Deity is a creature of the same. They will be like what people think they should be like. When humans think I have a female body, I have to wear a female dress in order to maximize my deity power. When humans think I have a male body, I will have limited deity power even if I wear the magic robe of Queen Mother of the West.

The Tathagata Buddha has been talking on and on about changing my gender for thousands of years, but now I am still dressing like a female as a male.

To be honest, I don't care about whether he will solve this problem now. I am already a bodhisattva and my six roots of sensations are pure and clean and I view everything equally. The key point is that even if I have a penis, I cannot use it. No one will care for a useless thing.

Thus, in order to support his idea of equality, I have said that I can sacrifice myself to express my loyalty to Buddhism.

The Tathagata Buddha is touched by my words but when we are talking about this, another bodhisattva says: 'You shouldn't pay less attention to it even though you don't use it. We treat everything equally that every organ should be treated equally as well.'

What...

At this moment, another bodhisattva says: 'Human men never use their nipples either, but men's nipples have been there for thousands of years. No one cut their nipples off just because they are useless. Guanyin bodhisattva do not prejudice against your own organs.'

What...

I was going to ask how you knew human men do not use their nipples. It is like the epityphlon which is useless and sometimes causes death to humans. Yet, I cannot ask this in case they find me a fake Guanyin.

This meeting is beyond my endurance so I say: 'After all these talks, are you guys planning to let me propagandize for the equality of cross-dressed people when the human society is more developed?'

The Tathagata Buddha says: 'No, of course not. Why do you have such a narrow-minded thought?'

Another bodhisattva also says: 'Everything is equal. There is no distinction. A man dressed in a female dress is no different from a man dressed in a male dress.'

Later, the topic has become whether a man dressed in a female dress is equal to a woman dressed in a male dress. No one is talking about my gender problem anymore.

Normally, after they come up with a solution for that problem, they can come back to my gender problem. However, that problem is complex. For example, one says that genders are equal, and another one will ask that why people will praise cross-dressed females as strong and cross-dressed males as weak and funny? They aren't equal.

During their fight, someone else says that since genders are not equal, we have to make them equal. This meeting is never going to end.

Anyway, everything is equal. I don't care about these.

I watch them talking and talking on because they have an unburdened mind, but I am going to be bothered to death by that troublemaker Sun Wukong.

Thus, I leave quietly under their arguing voices with my incommunicative weird disciple Huian to talk about problems of the scriptures taker.

As a matter of fact, I met a pedant when I went down to the mortal world for work. That pedant had a wide range of knowledge and he had a lot to chat with me, a bodhisattva who didn't read many books but know a lot of things. During our conversation, he suddenly got mad and argued with me about the gender of Guanyin bodhisattva.

I told him, that Guanyin bodhisattva is a guy looking like a woman. At least, he is like that in the East. However, he got mad instantly and recalled countless scriptures and allusions to prove whether I was a guy or a woman.

In fact, we in the Western Paradise do not care about gender.

In order to show him the truth, after he finished reciting hundreds of classics for me to investigate, I took off my clothes and pointed at my dick, telling him that I was Guanyin; I had what a man had; I didn't have what a woman had but if I wanted I could have what a woman had because I was a buddha. Buddhas were humans at the beginning. In order to become a buddha, one needs to be a human first. Buddhas' passion comes from their experience as humans. Otherwise, buddhas will be really rootless, unworldly, and they will not be buddhas anymore.

What I didn't expect was that he was shocked at me and began to vent a torrent of abuse, saying that I was insulting Guanyin with my disorderly conduct. He accused me for showing the inelegant ugly thing of my body.

*Sigh*, I have said it that our Western Paradise doesn't care about these. We emphasize on equality so organs are equal to each other as well; these eyes, noses, mouths, arms, butts, and thighs are equal in status. There is no way that eyes can be shown and other parts should be hidden. But considering the limitation of humans, we avoid these sensitive areas when we preach...

But I could not clarify this to him, I could only tell him that no matter what a buddha is, a guy or a woman, a human or a dog, this buddha exists to enlighten all and let them have a passionate heart as well. Humans always say that gods have one more eye than humans, but I never hear people saying this bodhisattva has one more dick than humans. This is their mind limitation.

Yet, that pedant didn't listen to me. He only heard that I said bodhisattva had one more dick, so he viewed me as a hentai. He didn't even recite scriptures to me and thought I was a gay who wanted to take advantage of him. He ran away.

At that time, I just became Guanyin not long ago. I didn't have a comprehensive understanding of how a buddha should preach to humans, so I chased after him and said that everything was equal; although men and women had different bodies, they were all humans so the love between guys and the love between guys and women were equal; the love between women shall also be equal to the love between women and guys because humans should love each other; it was only a matter of whether they would produce future generations of humans. But I am a buddha and you are a human, I can accept that you do not accept my idea; this is not a problem at all. It is like although our buddhas are free from sensations, we will not force others to be free from sensations as well...

As a result, the first human I reached was frightened out of his wits and screaming things like "Help me! A madman!". He ran away without looking back.

Thus, this time as I am going down to the mortal world again, I shall not repeat my mistake.

My first stop will be the flowing-sand river.

This must not be a good place. This river cannot even support a leaf to flow. In fact, Buddha has told me that I shall pick obedient yokai as disciples to be the disciples of the scriptures taker. Yet I am not stupid, I know who he is referring to.

The yokai in this flowing-sand river was a god in heaven. He was a gingerly god. He lifted curtains for Queen Mother of the West assiduously. He had been doing this simple task for thousands of years.

He was an honest guy. Although he didn't get promoted to a higher position, he never complained. This well-behaved guy just kept lifting up and down the curtains.

In conclusion, he was a little civil service guy who did things carefully. Although he didn't have any big contribution to heaven, he should be a model worker. He had been lifting the curtains for thousands of years without any more ambitions or complains. He was a precious good guy.

Yet, even the most careful guy will have his careless time.

As a result, this honest guy who didn't make any mistakes in the past had his hands tremble for a second during the Peach Banquet. He broke a glass vase.

No one is perfect. Who haven't done something wrong? Why didn't they just punish him in heaven since he had been working so hard for many years?

They didn't. Heaven whipped him eight-hundred times and transformed him ugly and exiled him down to the mortal world.

This was not the end.

After he was in the mortal world, heaven ordered flying swords to stab through his chest for no less than one hundred times every seven days. He is living in this flow-sand river in which leaves don't flow and cannot reincarnate out of this suffering of hunger and coldness.

This is the end of a nice guy.

After the Jade Emperor finished sending his orders, he forgot this little curtain lifter. After all, there are too many people wanting to be a part of heaven. Lifting curtains is a task without any requirement. This little civil service guy didn't talk much. After he was kicked out of heaven, no one remembered him.

To be honest, accidents happen in every Peach Banquets. Heaven is rich enough to not go bankrupt just because of one or two broken glass vases. On that year when Sun Wukong stole many peaches and crashed the Peach Banquet with his weapon, did you see him being treated like this?

He is just imprisoned under the Five Element Mountain.

Is his body peeled off, or is he having flying swords stabbing through his chest, or his face ruined?

So, being a nice guy is harder than being a monkey kid.

In conclusion, a long time after this accident, Jade Emperor found his conscience and was like "I seem to not like glass vases."

Yet, he has given his orders and this unlucky guy has been stabbed through by flying swords in a desolate and uninhabited land for hundreds of years. His flesh is poked and stabbed out by these tortures and he hasn't had anything to eat. But Jade Emperor is Jade Emperor, his words cannot be taken back easily. In words, this unlucky guy is impossible to go back to heaven.

So, Jade Emperor comes up with a secret way to solve it. He shall pretend that all the suffering that this unlucky guy has endured will pay him back. These are his tests. Jade Emperor intercedes with Buddha to let this unlucky guy be a disciple of the scriptures taker. If Buddha agrees, then this unlucky guy will go to work for the Western Paradise. This will be Jade Emperor's pardon for him.

Buddha looks at this unlucky guy and is like, "Great! He is the guy we want in Western Paradise. Here we are too lazy and we need someone who can do actual stuff.'

However, this unlucky guy is recalled while there are many other unlucky guys are not. They are still suffering somewhere in the world.

I think this unlucky guy is not hard to persuade. Although he is already a yokai, he should still be a nice honest guy.

I love finding nice honest guys as disciples for the scriptures takers.

Then, I keep my eyes open and see an ugly yokai jumping out from the sand-flowing river with water splashes.

That was a shock to me. I didn't expect him to look like this at all. After all, he was a god working closely by Queen Mother of the West's side in the past. How did they transform him to be so ugly?

I calm myself for a while and prepare to say something to this red-head with long tusks. Before I try to say, he raises up his staff and is going to catch me.

...Although I have boundless magic, I don't like to fight. It will make my image not peaceful. Also, I am wearing woman's dress right now here in China. How can I fight in a woman's dress?

As a result, my weird disciple Huian walks out to fight against this yokai. They fight on the coast of flowing-sand river into a mess.

My weird disciple doesn't like to talk. That unlucky guy doesn't either, so I am agonized watching them fighting.

At this moment, I suddenly discover that this honest nice guy has a necklace of human skulls.

...Wait a minute, this string of human skulls are not common human skulls. I found them very familiar.

Oh wait! These human skulls don't sink!

...Aren't these skulls of that designated scriptures taker?!!??

Another variety appears in my spoiler life. I look at this red-head long tusks man-eater and begin to ruminate.

...Who told me this yokai was a nice honest guy?