27 A Failed Test

Frankly, I look into Sun Wukong's eyes and still act as a young unmarried girl. In order to make him believe me, I also fiddle with my hair.

Sun Wukong looks at me feebly for a while: 'Bodhisattva...'

I play dumb: 'Little shifu, what are you talking about? I don't understand it.'

Sun Wukong struggles and says: 'Guanyin bodhisattva...'

I smile: 'Little shifu, I still don't get it.'

Sun Wukong smashes himself into a tree and he almost breaks that tree. The leaves of the tree fall like rain and he hopelessly says: 'Guanyin goddess!'

I: 'Pooh! How many times do you need me to remind you that I am a guy?'

...

In the backyard, we stare at each other. A pair of human eyes and a pair of monkey eyes are focusing at each other for a while. Then, I ask: 'Fine. How did you recognize me?'

Sun Wukong sighs: 'Among all the humans, ghosts, deities, or yokais, only Guanyin bodhisattva you will look at me in this way.'

I am confused: 'What do you mean?'

Sun Wukong looks at the ground sadly with his cudgel in his arms: 'You always look at me as if I was an ungrateful child of yours that you really want to get rid of, but you cannot. It is a look that you want to avoid me, but you also feel empathy for me. It is really an insulting look.'

...

...Oh.

You also know you are ungrateful now.

Well, this monkey isn't silly as we thought before.

Sun Wukong keeps smashing his stone head on that tree. He says one sentence when he smashes once: 'I was wondering because the little monk only recognizes you so how come he recognized another today. I didn't expect him to see through you earlier than me. What kind of hatred do you guys have during his previous life? He died and has been through the Netherworld. He has experienced reincarnations and has drunk many bowls of Mengpo soup. There will be no memory left after a dead one who passes the Naihe Bridge. Any hatred from the previous life will have been blown away, why is he able to recognize you still?'

If he didn't mention it, I wouldn't be able to recall it. It was a flashlight in my eyesight—the scene of Nanhai hundreds of years ago suddenly appears in my mind.

After that day when he argued with me, I was touching the wreath of flowers on my lotus seat while I was cursing him an unnatural death. I couldn't bear more with his Gatling mouth, so I just cast a spell to seal his mouth so that he couldn't speak anymore. Unfortunately, he dozed during Buddha's lecture later that day. Buddha rebuked him and asked him why he dozed in his lecture. He pointed at his lips, but he couldn't speak any word out. He wanted to write but he had no pen, so Buddha banished him away from Western Paradise to endure ten lives of sufferings. At the thought of this, all his sufferings are caused by me, and I am in a cold sweat.

...No wonder the Golden Cicada couldn't forget me.

Good, in fact, it was he the Golden Cicada who started all of this.

But what can I say? Does he look like someone reasonable?

Ayyy, let me save him more times in this life in case he will take revenge when he gets his memory back.

As soon as Sun Wukong asks me this, I am a little flustered, so I say: 'I don't remember it. I hope your shifu cannot recall it either.'

There is a silence between us for a while. Sun Wukong points at me and my dress and my head accessories and he says unacceptedly: 'Then why are you...'

I say: 'Don't ask any more questions. I work under Buddha and I have my own difficulties.'

Sun Wukong squints his eyes for a while and says: 'I don't mean to say this but bodhisattva, although Old Sun has cultivation, I am still a monkey. If Western Paradise wants to test me in this way, you should transform into a monkey as well...'

I glare my eyes big.

I have said it!

He is a monkey!

Why does no one believe me!?

I hurry to say when he is going to turn around and leave here: 'You have seen through this but don't tell others!'

Sun Wukong walks despondently and carries his cudgel on his shoulder without looking back: 'No, no, I won't say it. I would like to watch the fun!'

I come back and find out that the Lishan Mother is also a lazy one. She doesn't even make more houses. Our room is just right next to theirs. Once I enter the room, Samantabhadra hints me to be quiet. At this moment, I hear Zhu Bajie talking to the Sand monk: 'We are all mortals. We all have feelings and desires. Even if we become a deity, we cannot avoid this, but shifu is not like us. He insists on being a cold-blooded person. Wow and wow!'

At this time, Sun Wukong also comes back with the cudgel on his shoulder. He murmurs after he sits in a corner when he hears them talking: 'I don't know about shifu, but I have a psychological shadow. Since I knew that the Guanyin bodhisattva is a guy, I am alert when I see any pretty girls.'

...

What do you mean? Do you despise my sacrifice for Buddhism?!

This monkey doesn't understand the ideology of everything being equal at all. Women can wear women's dress, but how can't men wear them? Do you despise men? You are a sexist.

I thought this topic had ended, but Zhu Bajie suddenly falls from his chair. His round belly rolls on the ground three times and he says shocked: 'Guanyin goddess is a guy!?'

Before Sun Wukong can say anything, Zhu Bajie just flops his ears and cries. He makes hiccups and his crying is loud enough like a firework that Samantabhadra cannot keep calm by saying "Amitabha".

Sha Wujing sneers aside: 'Fellow, you must know it. He always thinks that Guanyin goddess likes him so "she" always comes to help. He has been pondering on how to return this "favor".'

Sun Wukong is in a daze: 'How come this fat pig never learns? Just think about it. Don't you remember why you were banished from Heaven? Wasn't that because you thought Chang'e liked you and now you are here?'

Zhu Bajie hears this and he suddenly stands up from the ground: 'You didn't know it. Chang'e sister likes me for sure. One time my clothes had a hole, so she asked her maidservant to fix it for me!'

Sha Wujing looks at him stunned: 'Wasn't that because you were not willing to leave, crying on the ground on the Moon Palace after you fell down and broke your clothes?'

Zhu Bajie says seriously: 'That's because I wanted to test her feelings for me. Without this try, I wouldn't know that she likes me! She likes me!'

...

Manjusri says: 'This Zhu Bajie hasn't changed his larvicious mind. What can we do when he actually arrives at Western Paradise?'

Samantabhadra says: 'What do you mean? Do you think we have anyone in Western Paradise for him to molest?'

I sigh: 'Don't worry. After this, I believe that the area of his psychological shadows in his brain will be larger than the area of his lascivious desire.'

Manjusri and Samantabhadra think of my words and they agree.

We are discussing about what we are going to do when this is done in the room right next to the Tang monk. Lishan Mother lifts up the curtain and walks in: 'We need to change our plan. That little monk is too talkative, and I cannot deal with him. Guanyin bodhisattva, he always thinks that you were his friend in his previous life. Why don't you talk to him for a while?'

I say: 'What a sin! Why do I have to do everything!? Just leave them alone! Why do we even need to test them in this way?'

Lishan Mother says: 'If they are determined, they will not change their mind. If he gets to know you more, he may show his real personality.'

I am helpless. What kind of real personality he has? If he has any real personality, it will be his personality when he was the Golden Cicada. Are you saying that Buddha accepted a bad personality disciple?

Lishan Mother says again: 'If we just leave it like this, our test will seem like bullshit. We need to talk to them at least. We can leave alone his disciples, but we have to test him. There will be more yokais on their way. If he changes his mind then, what can we do?'

I say: 'Fine. I will do what you say. After this is over, I will not interfere in their journey anymore.'

Lishan Mother says: 'I don't need you to do anything hard. Just chat with him and see what he thinks of this journey.' Then, she waves at Manjusri and Samantabhadra: 'Don't laugh at Guanyin. Manjusri, you go to ask Sun Wukong. Samantabhadra, you go to find Sha Wujing!'

After that, she lifts up the curtain and leaves: 'Zhu Bajie wants to stay. I will go talk to him.'

Once she leaves, three of us in the room look at each other speechlessly.

At the end, Manjusri says: 'Yes, she is here to watch our fun! She must be hiding somewhere laughing!'

Then, we stuffily leave the room and go to clear our quest.

I find Xuan Zang and he is looking at the fish by a pond. His eyes are opened big and he looks focusing.

He sees my reflection on the surface water and he hurries to pull me aside in a whisper: 'Girl, I just saw a fish with three eyes in your pond. Isn't that a yokai?!'

...

Lishan Mother didn't even make the villa carefully. How can we have a three-eyed fish!

Fake ones are fake. They can't be real anyway. Even if they are illusions made by a deity, they will have a flaw somewhere.

But what can I say? My character setting is just an unmarried girl who doesn't even go out. I say: 'Ah...Three eyes?'

I didn't finish my sentence because the little monk is shocked by my words and he soon covered my mouth anxiously: 'Don't say that so loudly. It will be bad if it hears us!'

...

This little monk is really innocent!

Why don't you think that since this villa has so many flaws, we are actually transformed yokais to eat you?

I assume that he has been scared too much after being caught twice by yokais since he hadn't seen any blood in the past.

He watchfully looks around and senses no action from the pond, so he drags me away from the pond walking: 'My first disciple can surrender yokais. I will ask him to eliminate yokais for your home later. Don't be afraid. It is alright.'

I am not afraid at all, but he has been trembling.

At this moment, I want to tease him since he is so scared of yokais, so I make an evil grin on purpose: 'Little Zhanglao, why don't you doubt that we are actually yokais who have poisoned your food and are going to pickle your corpse as food?'

I expect him to be scared out of his wits after my words, but he looks at me frankly: 'No, you will not be. Sister, you are a good person. I have met you in my previous life.'

...

I: 'Oh? Don't you think that it was me who framed you to such bad luck of being eaten by yokais?'

The little monk insists looking at me: 'No, sister. You must be a good person. Those sufferings I have endured are what I deserve in my fate. I cannot blame those on others.'

Oh my! This Golden Cicada didn't become more annoying after ten lives on Earth, but he is even a little likesome!

I look at this soft cute white-bun-like kind little monk. For a while, I cannot link him with the annoying chatterbox. I doubt he is not the right person.

I just begin to like him, but he turns around and says to me seriously: 'Since sister you are so into Buddhism, let me recite some scriptures for you.'

...

...

Oh, this is the right person.

I say to him: 'I know that you cannot believe your faith more even if you are going to have your body smashed into pieces and to endure sufferings on the way to Western Paradise. If one day you finally arrive at that Nalanda Temple and see those buddhas in Western Paradise with your sincere heart, and find out that they aren't as good as you thought before, and realize that the "virtue and morality" in their slogans doesn't always go along with their actions which they help the evils and hurt the good, what will you do?'

The little monk lifts his white-bun-like face looking up at me, with his eyes wet. After a while, he says: 'Sister, you are wrong.'

'Since all buddhas came from human hearts, how can they be perfect? I believe that all the weaknesses in humans can be found in buddhas as well. Yet, buddhas have loving-kindness and passion for all that they want to do better. I think that, since I always do wrong things, then buddhas must be always doing the wrong things as well. It is nothing unusual.'

'However, if a man has gone on the wrong path, he cannot return. Buddhas have a sincere heart that no matter how many times they have gone on the wrong path, they will go back to their original point to start over and retry. I think, this is why buddhas are great.'

He tilts his head and thinks seriously: 'People always imagine buddhas to be invincible, because humans have too many weaknesses. They are afraid of their own weaknesses, so they imagine buddhas to be perfect, but where can we find a perfect being in the world?'

'I think, it is because of the weaknesses from humans, buddhas can be so glary, because buddhas weren't buddhas at the beginning. Buddhas are buddhas only when they are in human hearts. Humans are scared of aging and death, so they created buddhas to worship. If humans no longer have such vague imaginations in their life, how can they keep struggling for a living in this world full of aging beings and death?'

He sees that I haven't talked, so he reaches out to pat me: 'I know. You are afraid that I thought too naïve of things that I would be upset if things turned out to be not as good. You are so nice to me. What a good person you are!'

I: '...'

I hope that you will still think that I am a good person when you arrive at Western Paradise...

The little monk looks at me honestly: 'I have understood all your words. But sister, look, humans have also created many deities who have nothing close to being kind except for buddhas! They are bloody and cruel and full of weaknesses just like humans! I think that a good person like you who always burns incense in the temples will think that deities are just statues made of rocks and stones, but I don't think in this way. I think that deities are like a mirror. Deities are like what humans are like. I think, if humans are so good, how come deities be bad? Don't you agree?'

I believe in the sincerity of Xuan Zang that it will be wrong to do more to test them.

I am going to leave here but both his eyes shine, and he says to me: 'Don't worry. Even if all the buddhas in Western Paradise are bad, I still know one who is good!'

I have a nameless feeling and I respond unconsciously: 'Ah?'

The little monk shows an admiring look: 'It is Guanyin sister! Guanyin sister is so good! She always come to save me whenever I am in trouble! She is the No.1 kind person in the world!'

Feeling guilty, I look at my dress.

I think this thought of his is a timed bomb. It will suddenly cause his high-rise of faith to collapse.

The little monk's eyes are beaming: 'Guanyin sister is not only a good person, she is also powerful! She is nothing like that of my arrogant disciple who said he had made havoc in Heaven but in fact he couldn't fight anyone. He always asked for help from Guanyin sister!'

...

To be honest, I almost cry being touched by his words.

It is like your spoiled child finally matures. I am so touched.

Before I can say anything, he is frightened: 'Pretty sister, why are you crying? Did I say anything wrong?' As he is saying, he wipes my tears hurry-scurry: 'Don't cry. You will look less pretty if your tears trickle down your face!'

I touch my tears and am gratified: 'I am touched by your thoughts. Be a good human. Don't bother or chat to others for nothing to avoid bad luck.'

I thought he would finally listen to my words. He was wiping the tears for me, but he clenches both his fists looking at the sky firmly: 'No! I must talk and speak out! I will speak out when I see wrong things! I will speak out when I see bad people! Word is my weapon! Language is my sword! It is a ray of light for me to poke through the hypocrisy! If not, how can they realize their faults and correct their behavior!?'

...

Oh, go on and keep talking. I shall leave here first.

Before I could turn around to leave, he grabs my hand and says to me: 'Let me take you to my disciple! I will ask him to see if you have any yokais at home!'

He drags me all the way to where Sun Wukong is.

I am afraid things will be a mess when we really meet that monkey.

The monkey is holding his cudgel in his arms bored under the shade of a tree. He tilts his head and leans upon the trunk, sidelong glancing at the unwilling pretty female acted by Manjusri.

Manjusri stands straight with an impatient look with a pamphlet in his hands, saying the words on it one after one: 'I can also offer you a home and food. Why don't you accept this?'

Sun Wukong looks at the sky hopelessly: 'No, no, I have said NO!'

Manjusri with a pen in his hand, carefully crosses out this line and flips to the next page. He goes on saying rigidly without a facial expression: 'How about that I can give birth to your children?'

I: '...'

Sun Wukong: '...'

Little Xuan Zang: 'Disciple! Go and see if they have any yokais in the villa!'

Sun Wukong immediately follows his shifu and escapes from Manjusri without looking back.

Manjusri still holds his pamphlet in his hand and lifts his eyebrows confidently at me: 'Didn't I do a good job? I have listed fifty-one conditions to him!'

I: '...Not bad. Let's go to see how Samantabhadra is doing. I think all of them are sincere. They should be fine.'

We are talking here and there the little monk pops his head pointing at the water on tiptoe as he pulls Sun Wukong's sleeve: 'The one with three eyes! I really saw it! There was one with three eyes!'

Sun Wukong is being pulled and he carelessly looks at the pond. He looks at me and shrugs. His meaning is clear: What do you want me to do now?

Before I could hint to him, Manjusri says: 'Why does the monkey look at you? You guys are very close. Did he recognize you?'

I will never admit this so I just bullshit: 'He isn't looking at me. He is obviously trying to say love to you with his eyes. Manjusri, you did a good job.'

Manjusri confused searches in his pamphlet with a pen in his mouth. He looks up and down at the lines he just crossed out and he doesn't understand which line hit Sun Wukong.

After a while, he points at the last line blankly: 'Does he want someone to have children with him? This is also a possible situation. Why don't we spend more time testing him on this?'

...

I really just framed myself.

At this moment, Xuan Zang suddenly jumps and points somewhere in the water: 'There! There! The one with three eyes there!'

Sun Wukong stands by the water lazily and he squints his eyes deceptively shaking his head: 'I didn't see it. Shifu, do you need to see an eye doctor?'

Xuan Zang is anxious, so he runs to me to pull me away from Manjusri to the water: 'Pretty sister, did you see that fish with three eyes?'

I think whenever he says, "Pretty sister", Sun Wukong actually shivers with a despondent look.

I say: 'Where? I didn't see it. Could you point at it again?'

Xuan Zang gets into a flap: 'Ah!! It must have swum away!'

Sun Wukong listlessly leans upon a wall nearby with his cudgel in his arms and a random grass in his mouth: 'Shifu, if you really saw a yokai here, then after that you were pointing here and there, it will have run away because it is scared of me. Why would it still appear in your eyesight to seek death?'

The little monk is a stubborn one and he will never apologize so he stomps the ground: 'I did see it!'

Sun Wukong shrugs at me helplessly.

I don't think things are going on the right track. Although this monkey has been with the little monk for a while, he doesn't understand the real personality of the Golden Cicada. He is the kind of person who will always think he is right and no matter how you treat him, he will not change his mind.

It may be fine if you don't refute him, he may secretly change his behavior. If you refute him, he will prove to you that he is right even if he is going to jump to a pot of boiling oil.

Within my expectation, right after Sun Wukong's words, Xuan Zang squats down by the water determinedly in a huff: 'You will see! I will find it out here for you and I will be here until I find it out!'

I: '...To be honest, aren't you scared if that yokai jumps out to eat you after we leave? Maybe this is his scheme. If you stay here and catch a cold at night, you won't be able to go on to the journey.'

Sun Wukong looks at me speechlessly for a while, and then he pats my shoulder as if he really understands me with emotional eyes.

I am a bit flustered: 'Why do you look at me like this?'

Sun Wukong pats my shoulder again and he lowers his voice: 'Bodhisattva, living like you is too much trouble.'

At the thought of this, I realize I am very experienced on raising kids. I tried to amuse Huian since he was little. When he took off all his clothes to jump into the lotus pond, I had to run as fast as I could to refloat him and told him that the pond is thousands of miles deep. I still had to listened to his crying and complaints: 'Shifu doesn't let Huian take a shower!'

He would climb up to the tip of the bamboos to see the moon at midnight and I had to fly over and pick him back, telling him that if he fell off, his brain would be like a smashed watermelon. I even had to watch how he was crying and clinching to the bamboos unwilling to leave: 'What about the bamboos? It will be pitiful if they fall off!'

When he reached his legs to Manjusri's mount Blue Lion's mouth, I had to force its sharp teeth apart by my hands and terrified take him out, telling that this lion was still wild that it would swallow him, and no one could save him if he was swallowed. Who knew that he even clinched to that lion which was going to eat him: 'But Lion is a good friend of Huian!'

...I spent time and effort on raising him from a baby to a young man. Then he ungratefully left me without telling me.

Ayyy, to pacify this Xuan Zang is too easy compared to trying to amuse Huian.

After my words, the little monk touches his head squatting by the water for a while. He blinks his eyes looking at me feeling wronged: 'Really?'

I say: 'Don't worry. My family has been living here for decades. We haven't seen any yokais. If there are any, it must be coming at you. You should really stay with your disciple and don't treat him bad.'

Beyond my imagination, that stubborn Xuan Zang looks at me and eats his thumb while he is murmuring: 'Pretty sister's words sound reasonable...'

Oh my! How could I just persuade the reincarnation of the Golden Cicada! It must be the outcome of the accumulation of all my positive karma!'

I almost couldn't keep my laugh from bursting out at this moment. I wanted to drag Tathagata, Jade Emperor, Lishan Mother, Samantabhadra and Manjusri here to show them that I the first being in the world who has just changed the mind of the Golden Cicada who is tougher than a rock!

Before I could express my happiness, Xuan Zang shows a determined look: 'Since then, I shall not make this yokai easy! Wukong! Tonight you will stay here with me by this pond! We will stay here until it comes out! I am going to see whether if a legitimate Buddhist like I or this fish yokai have more patience!'

...

Your idea is really legitimate.

Fine, you win.

You are the reincarnation of the bastard Golden Cicada. Your temper can be tough like this and no one can change your mind.

Sun Wukong had been walking for a long time and Xuan Zang was on the horse during daytime and sleeping somewhere at night. Sun Wukong is already tired, and you still asked him to watch this pond with you till midnight? You really have feelings.

Sun Wukong says: 'Shifu, what's wrong with having three eyes? You can't disdain others just because they have one extra eye. Doesn't Yang Jian the Erlang Shen also have an extra eye? Do you also disdain him?'

So what? This little monk will not listen to words. He will be staying here and insist on his point.

I am already used to this scene, so I just let them go. I am going to take Manjusri to see how Samantabhadra is doing.

These four people except for Zhu Bajie, are all sincere. There is no object. Also, the Sand monk is an honest guy. Honest guys are trustful. How can he have a problem?

As soon as Samantabhadra finishes the Sand monk, we can go home and none of us shall recall this unfortunate incident. We shall return to our peaceful schedule.

Who knows that before we could step in their courtyard, we hear a cry out from the Sand monk. His choking sobbing voice spreads from the distance: 'I had worked for the Mother Queen of the West for thousands of years! They drove me to the Earth just because I broke a vase! They ruined my appearance and they stabbed through my heart with flying swords!'

He is choking and sobbing as he is speaking: 'They didn't even pay me! They just took away all my savings of thousands of years!'

...

He says again: 'I feel pains in my heart, but who can I talk to after being condemned by Heaven!? I came out to receive the scriptures with shifu and I wanted to tell my sorrows to my fellow, but he said he didn't even take his five-hundred-years beneath the Five Element Mountain so hard like I do! But the reason why he was imprisoned there is because he rebelled against the Jade Emperor, what about me?! I worked solely for Heaven and why did they treat me like that!'

We realize that things have gone wrong, so we rush in. Samantabhadra is sitting next to the Sand monk patting his shoulder to comfort him: 'Well, you are now freed. Don't be sad anymore.'

The Sand monk sadly wipes his tear: 'No one noticed me. Even my shifu and my fellows just wanted me to carry the luggage, but now you listen to my words. You are the best in the world.'

Then, he hugs Samantabhadra right after and cries out: 'You are my soulmate!'

Samantabhadra: '...'

I am a bit worried, so I hurry to as Manjusri: 'His action isn't violating the sex precept, is it?'

Manjusri says: 'He is just treating Samantabhadra as a friend. Making friends is not a violation of any precepts. His sense of existence is too dim that he seeks attention.'

I am relieved and say: 'Good. They will be leaving tomorrow. Nothing can go wrong.'

Right after my words, the Sand monk sobs: 'No matter how hard I try, no one notices me. I think that even if I one day arrive at Western Paradise, no one will care for me. You are different. You are willing to listen to my words. You are my soulmate. I am not leaving here!'

...What?

The Sand monk decidedly says: 'I am not going to receive the scriptures! I shall stay here!'

...

Samantabhadra shivers: 'Please don't. Please go to receive the scriptures.'

The Sand monk says more decidedly: 'No! I have lived for thousands of years to gain a friend like you! I am willing to give up my enlightenment to just be a labor for you here!'

...

Things have gone too wrong.

Manjusri says: 'No, no! We can't go back any time soon now! This is all Lishan Mother's fault! Now we really test their problems! When can we be freed?'

I say: 'You even thought about going home? Don't you be afraid that this Sand monk will not go on the journey and just mutate to a bloodsucking killer demon after he finds out that his only soulmate in his thousands of years is a liar to him?!