Chapter 8: Grand Theft N.A.S.A

I spent the whole night memorizing the blueprints Hanz had given me. I didn't want to risk relying on fishing them out of the duffle bags every time I needed them. That would be a waste of time and slow me down. If I took too long the guards would start investigating and I couldn't risk that.

I spent my whole night until the red glow of the sun made its way over the horizon, just memorizing. I only went to sleep as it turned to 9:00 AM. There was actually a reason instead of sleeping at a reasonable time, I slept at 9 in the morning. I intended to commit this robbery at a late time at night. Like at midnight or something. 

When my head hit the pillow I fell asleep to a raunchy dream about Black Cat catching me during the robbery and hitting on me. Hormones suck ass. When I woke up, it was to my alarm buzzing on my phone and I immediately sprung into action. In less than 10 minutes I was fully suited up.

I idly flexed in the new suit, making sure it wasn't too tight or loose anywhere. It wasn't quite as skintight as something like spandex but it was pretty close to it. It was comfortable as well. I grabbed the duffle bags and leaped out my window and onto the streets, firing a web mid-air that stuck onto a nearby house and swinging away. 

While I had learned my webs were most efficient in high areas where I could get the most amount of height, they were still a great transport method in low areas as well. Even if I couldn't get quite as high as I could somewhere in the center of New York filled with massive skyscrapers.

I was terrified whenever I got that high but it was an exhilarating rush. Something like when you go skydiving or parkour. I understood adrenaline junkies now. The rush I got from being so high and knowing that I was risking death all the time made the experience sweeter. Anyway, I made my way to the NASA building and located a vent that should lead to the security room. 

At least that was assuming Hanz's information was accurate. I pried the vent off with my claws, webs were too risky and my gloves ended just at my claws letting me use them without leaving fingerprints. The vent tore off the cover with ease and crawled inside feeling a bit cramped due to the duffle bags.

Still, it only took a few moments before I located the guard room, pushed the vent cover off its hinges enough to throw the EMP grenade in, and then pressed down on the button counting for 2 seconds before throwing it into the room and counting down from 3. A blue wave released from it that expanded over the whole building before disappearing, harmlessly going through me. Cool. I then pushed the vent cover open enough for me to slide out.

I dropped the duffle bags first and then noiselessly dropped down to the floor. I had a rough understanding of where the other rooms were in relation to the security room. I made my way to the one with the most high priority where Hanz believed I'd be most likely to find a majority of his shopping list.

It wasn't that hard to get inside when I could crawl in the vents and the guards were running around like headless chickens trying to fix the security systems. Having them all in one room meant one good thing. I had a plan to trap them so when I entered the storage room, I got to work because my plan to trap them needed me to be fast. 

I carefully made sure that every chemical and raw material component I grabbed from the shelves, and inside the storage lockers, matched Hanz's descriptions. It was only when I got to the tools that I actually had some trouble making sure they matched the photos Hanz provided me.

There were around 12 or so items I needed to get. I could do a sweep in another room but first, I quickly exited the storage room and came back to the guard room making sure to carry a vending machine with me. I set it against the door and was reasonably certain that unless one of these guards was actually Hulk in disguise they wouldn't be getting out anytime soon.

I then made my final few sweeps and after using my genius mind to deduce that yes, all the stuff I had procured was actually what Hanz wanted, made my stunning exit through a vent right outside the security room. The duffle bags made a constant banging noise clanking against the inside of the vent but I wasn't too worried about getting caught now. The majority of the security guards were trapped so there was nothing they could do.

I finally made my way out of the cramped vent and breathed a sigh of relief once I was finally free from that cramped hellhole. One thwip later and I was swinging over New York traffic one-handed. I had four duffle bags. I was holding two with my forearms, with the remaining two on my back. It was a pain to swing slowly but I wasn't risking these goodies.

Hanz's new suit for me better have built-in Bluetooth. That thing better be able to seduce the most man-hating of women. It better be able to shoot webs for me! I continued ranting in my head, slowing myself down even further as I arrived at Hanz's house. I carefully retrieved my phone making sure not to jostle the duffle bags and messaged Hanz.

Ace_The_Mace: Yo Hanz got te stuf, com out!!!!

Hanz_Get_Ze_Flammenwerfer: Are you typing with one hand? Good. The Gate will open automatically for you, I'll be in my workshop.

Ace_The_Mace: kk, b there son

Ace_The_Mace: Soon*!!!!

I stuffed my phone back into my pocket with a sigh and soon enough, once I got there I stepped through the gate, which opened automatically, and made my way into Hanz's house. I turned the knob and stepped through into the gothic manor. I made my way to the workshop laboratory and once again marveled at the doors. 

Then I stepped through and came face to face with the blonde prick tinkering with something. It was a robot with a ball shape and 5 limbs. I carefully placed the duffle bags down on a side desk and waved at him, "Yo Hanz. Miss your friendly neighborhood Spider-Man?" I grin as I finish my sentence. 

He didn't turn around, focused on the round robot, ''Yes, I did. I trust nothing has gone wrong? At least I haven't heard anything on the news, about a robbery or anything of the like.'' He says, pausing for a moment before continuing, as he grabbed another tool, ''How did it go? I assume, and hope for both of our sakes, that you didn't leave any evidence behind? Like your webs?'' He asked with a distracted, still serious tone.

"Oh no, I couldn't resist shooting my sticky juices over some poor unsuspecting security guards. You know how it is with web build-up." I grin mockingly, "No, but honestly, it all went perfectly. Got everything on your list. No webs, nothing. Pure physical strength." I flex my muscles and pull off my mask. "So… about my new suit… How soon can I get it?" 

''In a week or two. I'll have to handle going to school. Now, before you disappear somewhere, I'll need your opinions and your measurements to make sure the suit is appropriately sized for you. You're lucky that I got most of the measurements right, on the Nightcrawler Suit. I'll also, with your consent, need to do a few medical exams and samples from your webs. From what I can tell, they are made from your body, correct?'' He asked, as he laid down the round robot down on the table in front of him and turned to face me fully.

"Sure, so long as you help me make sure my sperm won't accidentally give a girl radiation poisoning. And yes my webs are made from my body. There's these gland thingies in my forearms that I can like flex and contract to fire webs." I say rubbing my eyes. 

''I was thinking more about potential Cancer growths, and tumors, but that might be an actual valid worry.'' He said before looking at his forearms and humming, ''You wouldn't mind if I took an X-ray of your arm, would you? If you weren't alive I would dissect you, but I doubt you would allow me to do such a thing. As for your webs, I assume it's similar to how spiders naturally produce and make webs, so it must use your body's resources, like Protein for example. Tell me, have you felt tired or sluggish after shooting too many webs? Lost some weight, made you famished afterward?'' He asked as he got up, and began messing around with some advanced-looking machines that I had no clue about their purpose or what they did.

"Yeah, I'm hungry pretty much all the time after a swing. And my stomach's like a bottomless pit nowadays. And sure you can X-ray me. Not like any more radiation's gonna negatively affect me right?" I grin and rest my hands on my hips 

''X-rays are harmless. Well, mine are. I don't trust those from hospitals.'' He said taking a clipboard from somewhere and noting my words down before he gestured to a long machine, that after he pressed a button a flat slab came out. ''Please lay down on the machine, I'll get a full body X-ray to see if you don't have any extra organs.'' He said with some amusement.

I whistled, "Fancy." I lay down on the slab. "Should I strip naked too?" I tease as I run a hand through my hair. 

''Yes that would be for the best, I'll need a semen sample to make sure you don't have any radioactive sperm. But that's for later.'' He said completely ignoring my teasing tone and noting down things on that clipboard.

"Oh… Uh well, I'm not really comfortable jacking off for you but I'll strip to my underwear for sure. No peeking though." I waggle my finger at him as I find the zipper for the suit and step out of it before getting up from the slab and putting the suit on the desk then laying back down. 

''I have a private room for such things, my lab is fully stocked with medical equipment for a variety of tests. And no offense, but you are not my type, Jameson. You're lacking too much in the brain department.'' He said with a dry tone.

"Hey! But also good to know. Now let's run these tests so I can get back home and get ready for school tomorrow. Also, could you send me the homework for physics I… kinda forgot to do it. Hehehe." I nervously scratch my neck. 

''I'll send you my dumbed-down notes, so you can quickly work on it. Don't worry, it's really dumbed down. Arslan really struggles with his grades, and unless I simplify my notes to him he simply doesn't get it. But moving on, would you be amenable to a physical test at a later date? To get a baseline for your clearly stronger body? You seem to have a grip on your strength, but I don't think you have tested it to its limits yet, right?'' He amusingly spoke before asking at the end with a curious tone.

"Yeah, not really. We can totally test how strong I am. Also, when am I gonna meet the famous Arslan? Or do you chain him to your bed when you don't fuck?" I joke. 

''I did that once, he broke the bed when he got out of it. Cunt. But no, he's on his nightly strolls, doing whatever it is he's doing. Probably causing problems, and spreading werewolf rumours. I'm just glad this is New York, and such rumours are completely ignored.'' He said with a tired tone before sighing and massaging his temples.

"Your boyfriend is a werewolf?! Awesome! Unless you mean he's a furry. In which case it's not so cool. Not that I hate furries of course!" I force the last part out hastily so as to not give offense. 

''He's a pain in the ass, that's what he is. But, yes, and yes. I would carry some silver with you if I were you. He gets feral sometimes.'' He says semi-seriously, before waving his hand at his last comment, ''I don't care about that, if you must know or care, I'm a scalie. Maybe a furry, as well, Arslan IS a Werewolf after all.'' He said with a distracted thought as he cupped his chin in thought.

"Damn. Now, I gotta worry about Werewolves? Also yet again Hanz, that was too much information on your sexuality. Now let's get done with these tests!" I stretch out and after around 2 hours of constant testing, we've come up with some stuff. Firstly, my sperm is not actually radioactive. My webs also do make me slowly lose weight, and weaken from overuse, so Hanz proposed the idea of mechanical web-shooters keeping my natural webs as a last resort. He also recommended eating high protein bars, after using my organic webs. 

I'm also not infertile. So I should probably use condoms.

He also noticed something off when he scanned my brain. Apparently, my powers had some sort of trigger to my brain's adrenaline gland. Basically, the more stressed I get the more my powers strengthen. This isn't a proportionate increase to my powers, just the usual adrenaline making you slightly stronger stuff, so he advised me not to, as he stated, "Recklessly fight anyone stronger than you." 

There were also some minor enhancements to my brain, making me faster, helping me with web-swinging, and a minor organ that enhanced my reflexes as well. My olfactory, and visual, that is my eyes, senses were especially affected by this new organ. My body is weird as hell.

Anyways, after a long night of testing, I got the homework notes from Hanz and swung my way home. I snuck in through the window, quickly changed out of my costume, and shoved it into the briefcase, and fell back into dreamland at exactly 3:32 AM. I might actually ask my mom to let me take a sick day. I wasn't willing to face school after all the excitement today. 

My head was so fried that I fell asleep a few seconds after I got into bed. I seriously needed to work on my sleep schedule because otherwise I was gonna be fighting villains averaging 3 hours of sleep a week.