GOOOSE
Entry 1: The day it began
It was a day like any other…
The sun was shining as birds chirped and gentle breezes blew, the sky up above was like it always was, a light blue color that could soothe even the most tired of souls.
Indeed, a day like any other. A day in the capital city of Rimiru, where many people from around the world gathered to witness its splendor.
Rimiru was a city built around a mountain with a giant water fall that seeped throughout the entirety of its space. Greenery grew all around and even on the buildings, yet it was not overgrown grass but instead beautiful flowers and vines of different colors.
Rimiru was hailed as the city of splendor, one blessed by mother earth and nature itself.
It is here, in this very city that our tale begins…
…
Two men conversed in a dark alleyway during that very day.
"Okay, so I was at the tavern right? And I kid you not there was this one guy who just entered while he did back flips and moved all around the tavern before disappearing into the outside streets!" A man of modest stature spoke, he held no reservation for his appearance and stank of alcohol.
"Seriously? Hahaha! That does sound like an interesting tale, what happened?" The man opposite of him asked, he was quite tall and missing a chunk of his hair.
"I'm not sure. Everyone suddenly lost all their money and started chasing the guy! Bwahahahaha!" The short man laughed heartily.
"That's one interesting thief there! Hahaha!" The other laughed as well.
Amidst the sound of their laughs, there began a sudden noise.
It was the noise of small little feet flapping towards them.
"Why hello there fine gentlemen, may I have but a simple word with y'all?" The deep voice of a man spoke.
One might think of this person as a giant, someone of impeccable strength whom one would not want to trifle with!
But instead, when the two men looked towards the direction of the voice, what did they see?
It was…
A goose…
Entry 2: The Goose
"Ey, ma matey… I ain't seeing or hearing things am I?" The tall man asked.
"Nay matey… That here be a talking Goose!" The shorter man replied.
"Oi, did y'all's manner of speech just change?" The goose asked.
The two men merely gazed back at the goose, staring long enough for the goose to stare back at them.
It was a white goose, seemed normal and all… However there was one thing amiss with its appearance…
There was a god damned Potato tied across its neck!
The men then looked back to one another in bewilderment, never before in their lives had they seen a goose with a potato necklace.
Indeed, it was weird.
"Oh, mighty Goose of the great potato, what be thy wisdom?" The tall man asked jokingly, thinking he was too drunk to stick with reality.
He was quite sober though.
"Aight, listen here mate. We can do this either the easy way. Or the hard way." The goose replied as it narrowed its eyes.
"Okay Mr. Goose… Let's hear it then, what's the easy way?" The short man asked.
"Y'all tell me what y'alls been talking about! Ya tell me about this back flipping thief o' yours and I ain't gotta resort to the hard way." The Goose replied.
"Pfff, and what may be the hard way? Oh great goose of potatology?" The tall man asked, scoffing at his opponent.
A rookie mistake indeed.
"This." The goose replied.
Suddenly out of nowhere the goose moved its wing with a swift motion before pointing it towards the two men.
They had no time to react before they saw the Glock 17 which the goose now held.
YES! This Goose was packing HEAT!
"The hell is tha-" The tall man spoke before a thunderous sound exploded across the alley ways, his head was reduced to a pile of blood, stains and other brainy stuff.
The short man upon witnessing the scene fell to his arse and shat himself promptly. He trembled in fear as the goose walked towards him with its mighty Glock 17.
"Now I ain't gonna ask a second time mister…" The Goose spoke.
"Ah! Y-Yes! I'll t-t-t-t-talk!" The man stuttered out as the gun was shoved right in his nose, pushing his head against the wall.
"Good… now tell me!" The goose with a potato necklace spoke with a pause.
Before yelling out with a booming, demonic voice…
"WHERE ARE THE DAMN BREADCRUMBS MODAFOKA?!"
Entry 3: The questioning
"The whatatoey now?" The short man asked, confusion plastered all over his face.
The Goose then looked him dead in the eye.
"The breadcrumbs. I'm asking for the breadcrumbs." The Goose said, pushing the gun with a bit of force into his face.
"But… Didn't you ask about the thief…?" The man asked with uncertainty.
"Wha—… What thief?" The Goose asked in utter confusion.
"T-Th-The b-b-back flipping… one…" The short man replied, trembling as he stuttered.
"Huh… OH RIGHT, SH^T!" The goose yelled, putting his wings over his head.
He had forgotten his initial mission.
"…" the man stared at the Goose blankly, wondering if he was to live after this next minute.
"My mans… Where be this thief?" The Goose asked, putting the gun back into the man's face.
This time shoving it into his mouth.
"Ghre vhas jgrus ah shtrankger whru campre anr vhert lik dra ghrwind!" The man barely said, albeit not in any human speech he did indeed try for it was his life that was at stake.
"Ah, I see… So aside from him coming and going as the wind can you tell me any facial features? Maybe body characteristics? Clothes even!" The goose asked in the most normal voice it had used till now.
As he did so he removed the gun from the man's mouth, pulling a few teeth away with it.
"AAGH!! Shiat that hurts!" The man yelled as he held onto his now bleeding mouth.
"Speak up bish boy." The goose said, shooting the man from the side to the right.
The sound once more roared like thunder as the bullet passed by and through the short guy's nose.
Taking the nose with it.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!! MY NOSE! MY BEAUTIFUL NOSEEEE" The man roared in utter agony.
"Aww shucks, it looked more like a beat root seed! You'll grow a new one so speak up already!"
The man who had long since soaked himself looked on in fear as tears slowly ran down his cheeks.
"Yo-You demonic goose…!" He shrieked
"QUACK!" The goose quacked in gruff deep tone.
"Fine…! Fine! I… I… I I'll talk!" The man said.
"Here see… I think he wore a straw hat and had black hair shortish… Despite obviously being a man his figure was… Feminine… Like an hour glass but even more so… I'd wager that women would kill for such a figure…" The man said in a sad voice.
"I see… I thank thee for the info." The goose bowed and put its Glock back to god knew where it held it.
At that moment, a group of guards arrived at the scene.
"BREADUS RICED! What is this horrifying stench!!" One of the guards exclaimed as they looked at the bloodied short man and the corpse of his friend.
"Ahhh! AHHH!!!! GUARDS! SAVE MEEE!" The man yelled as he stumbled in his feet, trying to run up to the guards who backed away from him.
He stank like booze, shiat and piss.
Why would anyone wanna get near him? Not to mention he was bleeding all over and was missing a nose and quite a few teeth.
"Ah! Get away from me! You're not my type!" The guard yelled as he slammed his shield into the man, forcing him to the ground.
"Gua-Guard! Please…!" He pleaded the guards.
Meanwhile the goose simply sat back and looked at the scene.
"Ugh… Did you do this you stinking pile of trash?!" Another guard asked, pointing to the corpse.
"Wha-! NO! It was all that Goose! The Goose did it all! It took a weird metallic thing out of nowhere and threw thunder at us! Please, kill it! Kill it before it's too late!" The short man yelled as the tears fell.
The men looked at him in disbelief…
Really? A goose did all of this?
It was then that they turned around, back to the goose.
They gazed at it long enough for it to gaze back at them.
Sweat dripped down their foreheads as they prepared themselves for an unknown enemy…
But then…!
"Quack."
Entry 4: Wait… Quack?
"Guys that's just a goose! What's there to fear!" One guard said.
"Hey, yeah you're right! What the hell were we thinking, let's just take this guy in!" Another guard said
"Wha--! NO! The goose! IT WAS THE GOOSE!" The bloodied man yelled
"Say it to the judge!" Another guard said.
The guards were now forcefully taking the man away, as the Goose watched on innocently.
But then one of the guards turned around and spoke.
"… Did that goose just quack?"
At those words all the guards turned back, looking to the goose as if it were a duck.
"…" Awkward silence.
"… Well shiat. My cover has been blown." The Goose spoke.
"IT SPEAKS!!!" The guards yelled in unison and surprise.
What the bloodied man had said was true, it was indeed an evil Goose if it could speak.
The guards drew their swords, ready to take on this unknown threat once more as sweat once more dripped down their heads once more.
There was a lot of once mores in that sentence.
"Oh, hell nah! I ain't dealing with this! Potato, initiate operation QUACK!" The duc- I mean Goose said, bringing the guard's attention to the potato hanging over his neck.
The potato didn't actually do anything and another awkward silence ensued.
"Ah… Right, its just a potato…" The goose said, prompting a cringe from the guards!
They were quite throw off by the words of the goose, and it was just what said goose had needed!
The time to run up the wall in a flashy fashion!
"AH! The goose is escaping!" The bloodied man yelled, zapping them back into reality.
Who could blame these poor men for such a reaction? They just saw a talking goose who had murdered a man and tortured another.
By the time they realized, the goose was long gone and running over the roof tops.
Another awkward silence ensued.
"Guys…" one guard spoke.
"Yeah?" Another said in a questioning tone.
"I think we should stop drinking during day time hours." He continued.
"Yup…" "Yes." "Definitely" "Absolutely" Everyone spoke in agreement.
"Huh… So now what?" The bloodied man asked.
"Oh right! Well, you my friend are going to jail!" The guard replied.
"WHAT?! FOR WHAT?!" He roared in protest.
"For what…? Murder of course." The guard replied once more.
Silence.
Before the yell.
"… IT WAS THE GOOOOOOOSEEEEE!!!" The short bloodied man's shout was heard far and wide, albeit even with that confession he would still wind up serving in the Paperium mines.