9 CHAPTER 07 – FRUSTRATED

(Donny)

I was confused if I stay concerned about or happy just because he made some record of me, to keep some kind of reminding of me when he is alone.

After soaking the water in the bath, Paul got into the bathroom and we went to take a bath together. He dind't say a word about that, he was sighing and saying he's so tired instead... he wanted to sleep with no food and stuffs. Well, I got to insist till Paul change his mind to eat something, it was almost at 10 PM when we finally ate something.

After dinner we went to sleep. He wanted to stay there, hughing me... holding me so tight... but I was asking him to let me do something for him... like, I could make him comfortable, and make him relax... Paul wasn't cooperating, or he was really tired. I undertood what I wanted to say so hardly.

He got up, sitting on bed. I started to massage his back, neck, spine... He started to moan and relax all his body, and so I layed Paul to do it better. He got sleep fastly after that and started snooring. I just laugh lowly and layed me by his side as he didn't move a muscle. I fell asleepy on my belly.

Half of deep night I waked myself up becaus Paul was moving a lot on bed. I went to bathroom... then I got the kitchen to take water. When I got back to bedroom he was sat on bed with his hand on his head making a pain face. When he saw me he got confused.

_Is that water? – he asked me.

_Yes – I answered.

_How did you know I was thirsty? – He asked.

_I didn't – answered smiling – What is it? – I Asked him making an worried face.

_There's a fucking pounding in my head, I can't even sleep... You are demanding too much to an old guy like me... We have it all the time...

_Sorry – I answered him with a ton of a pouding guilty on me

_Besides... – he continued – you never got some boner, never cum... It's... weird, you know? Your body moves, you shake your ass... Moan... Tease me always, but I never ever had saw you caming, you know? Do your... race... is like that?.

Honestly I couldn't see that coming! In a such time...

_It's not... – I started to say – I can't feel pleasure... It's not like I can't reach some orgasm... It's just... I... got a season... a especific one form the year that I got... Like... Fertile, I guess... And other I can't, but... erh...

_I don't get you... – he interrupted me... – Are you some kind of bitch and go through heat season at some time on the year? – he asked me and started to laugh a lot.

Suddely Paul stopped laughing and started to mutter with his ands on his head.

_I shouldn't laugh, ouch! My head... Ok... this time I need some medicine.

_Medicine? – I asked him.

_Yes, Medicine. That thing you get when your body isn't well, I mean, healthy... Do you know what is a medicine after all?

_Hm – I said nodding my head fastly like a yes.

_Ok – he didn't believe.

Paul called me to the kitchen to show me it... The medicine. He took some box form the top of his refigerator, opened it and took some kind of little can, or little bowl, I don't know. There were a lot of little flat balls and he told me that was medicine for the head, when it is hurting like a pouding. I told him we got only liquid medicine.

_Oh, we also got liquid ones either – he told me.

We sat at the kitchen's table and ate some fruits and grains. He was asking about where did I used to live, about how was my life. I wasn't talking too much or everything, because I was afraid of some rejection from him... And if he didn't like something?

I told him about my planet, my country, about the fight against slavery, about my Father's plans, about genocide of some races... About the rising of the rebelion. He wanted to know if I already ever loved some one before... is I left someone there...

_Just friends and personal knights and... everyone else... Mamma perished before everything... – I answered.

_So... you got just me inside your beautiful hot heart...? – he said smiling.

_Yes! Just daddy! – I smiled back.

Paul stayed there, starring at me for some time, petting me... his looking was so serene... It was like he was transmiting safety for me, I mean, it seems like he was trying to make me feel safe... I felt it. Like I could always count on him, when he got back home... like I could... fill his heart... I felt the same.

_The pain is passed – ambiguously he told me – Let's get back bed, I'm sleepy again.

_Yes!

When we got inside the bedroom his comunication divice was biping, someone was calling him... It was already 5 am. He answered the call... He barely said something, just "yes" and "ok". At the end of the conversation with the stranger who called, he said something link "I'm on my way".

_Donny, I need to go to work, someone murdered a Treasury Chief of some of the biggest company of the country at this night. This month the Fiscal Force made a research and this company was being investigated for embezzlement of public money, investiment in weapon and slaves illegal trades – I didn't get it at all, I know it was a big deal, but I couldn't hide my sadness... He was leaving...

_Yes – was the only thing I could answer.

Paul was changing clothes and I stayed there, standing by his side, on my feet. I don't know why he needs to go. I started to feel so lonly...

When he got ready, he opened his bag and gave me something. Clothes... Brandnew ones.

_Here... Yours... I bought them with those other... great clothes I gave you before, you know... Those ones you alread... – he said.

_Thanks – I answered him as we were getting the front door.

_So... Bye! Be a good boy and take care of everything till I'll be back.

I kneel, kissed his shoes. When I raised my face to wish a good day at work, he squat and kissed me.

Paul smiled at me, got up and left. To the door I standed, full of tears and asking to myself "Don't be it, don't feel it, don't be like that, please Adonis"... It was late, I was already feeling abandoned... It is like that, with any of his leavings... That wasn't health at all.

After, when I finally calmed down, I, as usual, got up, did the house work, made some lunch and dinner already. I ate something and took a bath.

I got the couch and layed down on it, wearing clothes he gave to me: a pink t-short and grey shorts. I stayed there, like that, watching television and thinking about Paul. I got my tablet and did some research about those clothes we made me put before.

Well, he used me, I mean, it was female pants, I mean... For girls... The thing I wore was a skirt, the funny t-shirt was a bra, female wear them for holding their brests. Ok, I don't really know how women can use this tiny little and tight funny thing they call bra. That's ridiculous, I mean, why do they use it? Why not let their breasts breath freely?

Stopping my questions, I found out that another funny thing, the tiara, he put on my head, by the way it was still on me, it is for girls either. Well, some boys wear this too, but it is usually for girls. I saw some great pic of a boy wearing that, putting his bangs for behind, appearing his forehead. I did the same, should Paul be surprised? Would Paul think I am cute this way?

I gave up on thinking those stuffs, I really loved felt used... Erh... Usefull for Paul, but it is really not healthy for me, thinking about that... Thinking like this... Would him? Should him? Geez.

I tried to distract myself watching television but I couldn't. I couldn't stop thinking about him. And look, I really tried! I also was trying to pay attention on the news!

They said some man got murdered. The lady on TV was explaining what happened and what could happen after all that stuffs caming up. He was Fadencom Treasury Chief, a food company. They suspect that it was really homicide, and the corporation was illegaly trading slaves and guns. Those slaves weren't healthy, they couldn't work... Their trade could break economy, exposes the others health and they were relly sick, like letal sexual diseases. They suspect the company was using them as na biological weapon against tge companies which would buy them, contaminating people around them... Well, slaves here got sexually harrasments, abused and raped, so those disease would got fastly as many as it could.

Fadecom still got other ghosts corporations to misappropriate public money and maje trade with other countries. There was some kind of big corruption plan to circumvent surveillance, and some polititians envolved. Too many information, I just got a few things, I already got a good language level and understood a little bit.

It's strange, you know. I came for some place far away and have found evil and corruption... Again... All of that makes me sad... A really economy war, using inteligent life as weapons.

Backing to the television, first minister made a speech, the Talm's president as well... He talked about androids, and their benefits on economy and the end of slavery.

Talm corporation made na aliance with nacional government and some other companies from other segments on economy. All of it to raise androids production and the reduction of the tax on this production and also the selling of them. Like that, all middle level businessman could buy some android, and also some segments of the government. They think next year androids would be at a lot of places, replacing slaves, being more effective, crashing illegal trades and stuffs. They estimated five years for all the rest of the country to get androids, and I really wasn't liking his speech... On this life I learned something... Great solutions are always full of betrayal and evil...

That was an extensed news report... I mean, \i don't know how much time it spent, but it's alredy 8 o'clock, atill night, and Paul didn't arrieve. I miss he so much... This feeling, of being anandoned, was back for me. I got up and went to the bathroom.

Your smell was still there. Don't know what to do, I felt impotent. I got the bedroom, layed on his bed, I got up and opened the wardrobe, I got the bathroom again... No need to be like that... I miss him.

I could use this time for knowing more about Paul. Well, Paul did't arrieved yet, could not keep my peace, so investigating about it could leave me entertained and closer to him somehow.

This thought filled my being with fear and at the same time a certain satisfaction, I mean, risking tinkering with his things was something that could go wrong with him coming and misinterpreting my actions. But I was so curious, I needed to know more about him.

I started at the computer. I already had decoded his password. On his device I found several photos of him and his friends, texts he wrote, scanned documents, his father's health exams, which seemed to have some complicated illness ... I gained access to his social network, and had read some conversations he had with the Enzo, the name of that boy he called some day, and came in at the next one just to provoke him.

Their conversations ranged from commonplace to sexual. I did not find anything to indicate that Paul liked Enzo beyond the haircut. He did not praise any part of his body, and most sexual innuendoes were of Enzo. There is a pattern, of the guy tease and Paul hook up the cam and stay on call for about 15 minutes ... I think that was so, that Paul did not want to record the things he needed to talk.

After analyzing some more things, and finding out that he had been engaged to a woman for ten years, I closed the computer, left it as it was, went into the room trembling for fear of being caught. I walked in the room like a dizzy turkey until I calmed down. When I was calm, I heard his fixed communication device emit signal. Someone was making a call, but I do not know who it was, I do not know how to answer it and I do not know if I was allowed to answer it.

I was nervous, the night was coming, my hunger was over. I went to his room again and began to turn his things around. I would do my best to always leave the way I found it so he would not notice anyone stirring. At all times I was afraid that he would arrive ... From time to time his fixed device made sounds, scaring me every time I started to play. I moved in the wardrobe, in his bookcase, under his bed ... I found documents, letters, certificates, but none of them helped me to know more than I wanted ...

I really wanted to know what he liked ... What he was entertaining, what were the main practices in bed that drove him crazy ... It was bullshit on my part, because I knew what I had to do to make him horny, had learned quickly. Even so, he wanted to know more, he wanted to do more, he wanted to be his only one, he could give you all the pleasure he wanted. Frustrated and nervous, I showered thinking that it would relieve me, but the tension only increased.

I had messed up the whole room but still had no satisfactory answers for me ... The unit was still ringing and the house was still empty. I went to the couch again, but I could not turn on the television ... I just thought about him, and I felt abandoned. When would he come back? Will he not come back? It was almost eleven at night, it had never been that long. Why did this work take so long?

Swallowed by my thoughts, all I could do was cry. I do not know how long I cried, or how much I cried. I missed him, the way he spoke ... His scent ... His rough skin ... His breath ... His teeth that bit me ... His long feet ... The way he stepped on me. His strong hands ... The way he beat me ... His sweat ... The taste of his body ... The taste of his sperm ... The smell of his groin ... The way he he talked to me, that he humiliated me while he put me ... His cock ... His hair ... His low moans ... The things he told me ... I missed him so much, and there was not twenty-four hours that we had seen ... I had no news of him ... I missed ... How he used my body to feel pleasure ... I wanted him, wanted to be under him ... I wanted feel my body breaking and bending through your hands. I ... I can not alleviate this lack ... How much longer would I have to wait for him? This was all unfair. The dawn came and everything I did was cry, wishing strongly that he could come and hold me in his arms. Then I fell asleep when the first rays of sun were coming.