12 End of Fate
Shirou awoke one day to find Gojo staring at him along with Illya. Illya immediately jumped and hugged Shirou making him gasp for breath. Gojo just exited and looked at Archer before giving him a case. Archer was hesitant about opening the thing as it came from HIM.
Archer looked at Gojo, who was eagerly awaiting him to open the pandora's box. Archer peeked and saw a note.
"Be a Hero Kit"
This kit includes everything you need to be a hero.
-100+ different lines to be cool and cringey. Also includes ("People die when they are killed")
-Sharp Knife
-Slave Contract
-E-rank luck (You already have this so nothing will happen.)
- Souls of those you've killed (Just kidding.)
Archer started twitching in irritation as Gojo clearly knew who he was and this kit was a complete mockery of him. But it was the pure truth.
Rin came and immediately shouted at Archer for missing her breakfast. Shirou heard the commotion and immediately offered Rin breakfast made from God-Level cooking. Gojo had enough fun and gave Illya a head-pat before disappearing.
~~~~
Timeskip
The remaining servants were all fighting for the grail until a certain someone came bouncing into the battlefield eating cookies from the refilling Jar labeled "Infinite Cookie Works". Gilgamesh saw the thing eating from his ICW, Saber saw Gilgamesh's reaction and asked why he's afraid.
She only got a fearful reply "I fear no man, but that thing it's not human, He's a cheat! A literal cheat, his power operates under shit rules of I can hit you but you cant hit me? WTF Even my Sha Naqba Imuru just sees defeat." Saber was surprised by that outburst and took the chance to attack. Gojo had another goal, he teleported into the air and stood there with a microphone.
"Hello! testing~testing. I just want you all to stop as the grail is not a wishing cup."
The servants stopped battling and listened as it mentioned the grail.
"The grail will grant your wish but not in the way you want."
"Eg) I want to stop global warming, the grail would probably eradicate mankind."
Hearing this the servants and Masters froze as this was not expected.
"So I propose to just destroy the grail and get Goldie to reimburse the war reparations."
Everyone thought for a while before turning their heads towards Gilgamesh who started sweating at the money signs in their eyes.
They didn't get the chance to decide as Gojo warped to the ground and began preparation to destroy the grail. The servants watched on as they saw a type of energy gather. Gojo took of his blindfold and prepared.
"Cursed Technique Lapse: Blue"
"Cursed Technique Reversal: Red"
Gojo's hand extended in the direction of the Grail before the two balls merged and popped into purple bubbles. A swirling vortex of purple energy formed in front of his hand.
"Hollow Purple"
Gilgamesh was slack jawed as the attack could be compared to EA if Gojo used his full power.
The purple beam of destruction continued until it hit the grail erasing it completely.
~~~~
Gojo was pressuring Shirou in the kitchen to make more sweets. Illya was trying to get her share of sweets from Gojo by using her cuteness. It failed miserably. Rider was just watching Gojo with interest. They had managed to get some glasses for Rider to cancel the effects of her mystic eyes.
Gojo was suddenly engulfed in light as the bag of sweets fell from his hand. Immediately reacting he used "Blue" to attract the bag of sweets into his hand along with the furniture.
Rin came out and screamed to the empty space where Gojo was "GOJO SATORU!"
~~~~
Gudako was confused as they hadn't summoned a servant yet there was one in front of her.
Gojo saw Gudako and immediately understood the situation and gave her the same bullcrap he gave Rin. Gudako being innocent lapped up the lies like a cat with milk. Gojo immediately headed towards the cafeteria and finished the entire bag of sweets before using "Blue" to compress the bag into a tiny three millimetre ball.
The cafeteria turned to Gudako as she introduced the temporary resident of Chaldea.
Gojo set his eyes on the prize as he saw Archer looking at him in fear.
Archer remembered all those times that Gojo had made him slave away at making sweets. The thought made him shiver and even now in a place he thought safe, this monster was here.
Gojo kept on walking until he saw the three Gils. He nodded at the sight of Caster Gil and Kid Gil. When he saw Archer Gil he puffed up his chest and made a smug face before looking down on him and saying "Zasshu" The other Gils and the rest of the cafeteria cracked up in laughter while Gilgamesh prepared numerous chains on Enkidu only to notice the sharp ends were replaced with the chibi-Enkidu's? Gilgamesh asked "What is happening mongrel!" Gojo told him about that time he snuck into the gate and he decided to edit the chains of heaven to mini Enkidu's. Gilgamesh seeing this just sat back down and was unable to do anything as they were in the cafeteria.
Archer shivered as a hand was felt on his shoulder. Gojo lifted a bit of the blindfold and asked "You don't mind making me another bag of sweets d o y o u?" Archer nodded fearfully and got working. Cu was watching in amusement as he watched Archer being put to work.
Cu decided that he needed a good spar and the newcomer would be perfect. Oh if only he was there at the end of the war. Gilgamesh Archer snickered at what Cu was about to do.
Gojo turned around to see Cu asking for a spar. Gojo agreed and collected his sweets from a fearful Archer who sighed in relief when he walked towards the training room. Cu was confused as he thought that Gojo would use a weapon. Gojo seeing this clarified that he did not need a weapon.
He simply sat down and started on the bag of sweets. Cu was angered and immediately charged at him and aimed at a non-vital spot, his shoulder. The other servants watched as Gojo did nothing and shouted at him to do something while Gilgamesh told them to shut up. The servants turned to see the spear stop centimetres before touching Gojo.
Cu pulled back before trying again only to get the same results. Gojo simply sat there and spoke "You have until I finish my bag of sweets and a nap to attack as many times as you want" Gojo kept eating while Medusa, Artoria, Lily and the other female servants all saw a cute white hamster stuffing his cheeks on sweets.
Cu kept stabbing his spear on the infinity between him and Gojo making no progress. Gojo kept watching and slowly got tired and fell asleep. Cu seeing this did not care if his opponent was asleep, all was a fair game. Cu stabbed the spear only for it to stop again. Cu screamed in frustration "This guy has his hacks on even if he sleeps!?" The other servants laughed at Cu's frustration, Gilgamesh Archer could only sympathise with the frustration of facing a cheat character.
Gojo realised he fell asleep and woke up only to be greeted by Cu's NP
"GAELBOLG"
Gojo just yawned and watched as the spear tried to rewrite causality to pierce him. When it failed Cu could only drop down in defeat as he banged the floor in frustration.
Gojo became enveloped in light again as he realised he was going he waved goodbye to everyone present.
"Goodbye Everyone"
~~~~
Archer felt a heavy weight lift off his shoulders in the kitchen.
