3 A beginners guide to the Dark Arts

Devy's room was surprisingly normal. A pentagram(star within a circle) made of blood at the centre of the room with a goat skull in the middle, lit candles on the 5 points of the star. Like I said, pErFeCtlY nOrMaL "Dude, the hell is this?"

"Hehe, you figured it out eh" Devy grinned

"figured out what?" I was busy figuring out if Devy had hit his head or something, seeing no unnatural bump on his head I concluded there must be some other reason for his madness. Working at Walmart and now this.

"It is hell, or rather, I'm trying to open a way back to hell, something like a reverse summoning, it's all right here-" He took out a black book from a drawer titled "A beginners guide to the dark arts- with pictures"

"Ahh, that makes perfect sense!"

"Now now, it's even got pictures! You can't argue with that!"

It was clear that Devy was going through withdrawal symptoms. Which gave me a sudden thought. Would I become like him given time?

"Anyway Devy, How long have you been on earth?" I needed to find out how long I had before I completely lost it.

"Uhh, a few days....no a few weeks. Could be a few months, I don't exactly remember. Why?"

....

I had to get out of here. And fast. ASAP! I'd do anything to-

....

Waaiitt a second. Maybe that's what was going through Devy's mind too. In the beginning of course, Now I'm pretty sure that there'a nothing going through his mind at all.

"Nothing much." I said, "Which is exactly how much you think before doing stuff" I thought but didn't say. After all, I'd probably be depending(leeching) on the guy for some time.

"Is that your blood" I asked, Unable to contain my curiosity.

"Of course not man. There was this cat outside-"

(⊙＿⊙)

Curiosity killed the cat it seemed

"-Who was going through the trash, and was licking something red, turns out, ketchup is a good alternative according to this" and he held up the stupid guidebook again

Noticing my worried expression he added "You do know that I'm scared of blood right?"

"The king of the underworld and harbinger of death is scared of blood, works at Walmart and is following a beginners guide to dark magic. What next Devy"

"Meowww" A sudden sound chose to enter the conversation at this very moment and a small cute cat jumped from behind the bed "Meooww" It purred again as Devy lifted him up and cuddled with him

"Isn't he Sooooo cutteee!!" He exclaimed

"And he lives with a cat. Perfect."

"Dude he was the one who lead me to the ketchup. His owner had abandoned him. How could I just leave him? Let me get back to Hell I'll reserve a special spot for his owner. Look at how furry he is though. Isn't he the best?"

That moment when you realize the Devil is a kinder person than you. I guess Godfall shouldn't have come as that big a surprise.

Being more of a dog person however, I nodded my assent and sat on the bed, on a closer look, the goats skull was clearly made of plastic. Devy Hadn't even bothered removing the price tag. At least now I knew what he was doing with his Walmart money.

I heard a beep and noticed Devys phone lying on the bed with a notification. It was instagram. "So you're using instagram?"

Devy nodded, "I'm trying to spread terror and gather followers as there might be a war against hell in the best future"

I clicked on the notification and Insta opened. Not even a password, how trusting was Devy anyway. "12K followers! wow what do you post du------oh"

I saw his posts.

Shirtless muscular Devy cuddling with the cat captioned "Fight hell with me and Ketchup!" I guess I didn't need to ask for the cat's name. He adopted a cat the least he could do being the lord of hell was give him a scary name.

-SIGHS-

Devy was complaining about having too many female followers and how he can't allow girls to fight when I decided that Devy really was too soft for being the lord of hell. but that's when it hit me. If Devy was here for being too good.... Could I be here for being too .....BAD??!!

But that can't be possible! I didn't even do anything! All I was doing was chilling with wine, hot angels and these humans TV shows, how could I be bad?!

I was about to scream when another notification popped out

"God has commented on your recent post- nice pecs dude"

What. The. Fuck.

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