34 CHAPTER THIRTY FOUR

"C'mon! Hurry up! The movie starts in ten!"

"I won't run! I'm tired already!"

"Mom! Move!"

I jerked my head towards the voices and I froze.

Mom. Mike.

I was close to my house. I didn't even realize that. I lowered my head, walking towards them. My hands became sweaty and I could feel my own heart racing in my chest. I was so nervous, but I still had hope.

Please. Remember me.

They were right in front of me, walking towards the mall, I supposed. Right! I knew that Mike wanted to watch a movie which appeared these days at the cinema. He nagged at me, trying to make me go with him, but back then I was too scared that my bad luck could've hurt someone so I rejected him a few times until he stopped asking.

I can go now. I want to go now. Caiden is going to help me get rid of my bad luck, mom. I'm going to be normal. Please take me back.

I raised my eyes when I sensed them closer to me. Mom looked... happy. She had color in her cheeks. And Mike... he seemed to be the air-head he'd always been. His body seemed fine. The shadows' attack didn't hurt him that bad. Or Caiden's technique of healing was much stronger than I expected. I sighed, relieved. Noticing that someone was in front of them, mom turned her head towards me and locked her eyes with mine.

Emptiness. Nothing. She doesn't remember me. Of course not. What did you expect, Ivy? That they could've got their memories back, even though an ancient demon deleted them from their brains?

I sighed and passed by them. I forced myself to keep walking. I wanted to lay down on the ground and cry. I missed them so much. I didn't cherish them enough. I took everything for granted and now I felt the real pain of losing them. I had a lot of regrets. But, at least, they were safe.

And this is enough for now. Time will heal me. I have to learn how to live by myself.

"Wasn't that girl pretty? Why didn't you ask her for her number?"

"Mom! Stop it! I can't flirt with girls in front of you, it's embarrassing!"

I covered my mouth quickly. I almost cracked up. It was one thing to hear my mother calling me pretty because I was her daughter, but to hear her calling me pretty even though she didn't remember me...

Suddenly, I felt my cheeks wet. I was crying. I couldn't hold in all of my bottled emotions. I ran away from them. I didn't want to explain to them why a complete stranger got all emotional because they said I was pretty.

I ran until my legs started shaking. My whole body was numb like I was a zombie. I sighed, opening the Caiden's building's heavy door. I climbed the stairs sobbing, letting the pain grasp my heart. I couldn't hide it anymore. I had to let the pain kill me slowly before I could be reborn. I wiped away my tears as I planted my feet in front of Caiden's flat. I took a deep breath. I didn't want them to see me crying. Especially because they were intending to leave me. I didn't want to be selfish. I didn't want to make them think I couldn't manage it on my own. I was strong. And I could do it alone. I had Emily. I wasn't completely lonely. It wasn't so bad.

But... Caiden...

I shook my head. I couldn't let my silly crush destroy my dignity.

I will get over it. Time heals everything.

I raised my hand, ready to grab the knob, but the door opened right before I could that, making me flinch nervously. "Why were you staying in front of the door? Are you getting shy now?"

Caiden, still dressed in his red kimono, looked down at me with a curious expression.

Why does he look even better with his long hair and his bloody kimono? It doesn't make any sense!

"Uh... I was texting Emily. She asked me to text her when I get home. She's still worried after that club night."

He narrowed his eyes and showed me a skeptical expression. For a second, I was thinking that maybe he heard my sobs because of his demon powers. He nodded and opened the door larger so I could get in.

If he did, he surely doesn't want to talk with me about it.

Suddenly, I remembered the fact that my phone was still in his flat. Maybe he saw it? Maybe he knew I was lying? I shook my head. It didn't matter anyway.

"Did you... um... take the feather to hell?"

"Yes. The Old One told me that the other feather went straight to heaven. Everything went smoothly and I can feel the nature responding positively to the restored balance."

"You... can feel the nature?" I asked him, pretty surprised by this kind of power.

"Yes. I have a connection with it. Not all of the fox demons have it if you asked yourself that. Only the most powerful ones."

I rolled my eyes, sitting on the chair in his now cleaned kitchen. "Of course. Only the most powerful ones."

"Are you mocking me, human?" He said with a slightly amused voice, while he was pouring himself a glass of water.

"Not at all." I replied, with a sarcastic tone. He threw me a quick look which made me pursue my lips, trying to show him my most innocent expression.

"I think this whole situation made you underestimate us. You should remember that we still are demons."

"Yea, but you are my friends. And friends don't kill each other as far as I know."

"Are we friends?"

"Aren't we? I mean, we were. Now... you gonna disappear... and friends don't do that... so I guess we aren't anymore." I said, sighing.

"Indeed." He said, crushing the tiny bits of hope I still had.

What did you expect? "Oh, Ivy, of course, we are your friends, we're gonna stick around you until you die"? C'mon!

I shook my head and I sensed Caiden moving behind me. I had a weird impulse for a few seconds. To reach out for his hand and hold it until he left for good. Get a grip, Ivy! Caiden took a few steps and sat down on the chair in front of me. I sighed.

The fact that I knew I won't see him ever again made me mad enough to get this kind of thought. I wanted to touch him. To feel his skin. To be sure he was real and not just a ghost made up by my own mind. I didn't have a picture of him. The single person who could confirm he existed was Emily, but she will forget him at some point.

Will I ever forget him?

I didn't want to forget him.

"Caiden."

He took a sip from his glass of water and gave me a confused look. "Mmm?"

"Thank you. For being in my life."

He choked with the water. I blinked twice, taken aback because of his reaction. He drew a deep breath and placed the glass on the table. "Why would you say that? I ruined your life. I almost got you killed. Your family doesn't remember you because of me. You had to lie to your friend because of me. You had to complete an almost impossible mission which almost made you go crazy. Why would you say that, Ivy?"

He was genuinely curious. And the flash in his eyes made me aware of something. He was sorry. Sorry because he got me involved when the single thing he wanted me to do was to help him get closer to Emily so he could take a memory and then leave as fast as they could. He didn't want to get me in Lucifer's games. He didn't want the demons' coalition to follow me and my family. He didn't want me to live that kind of life.

And I was grateful because he cared so much about me he could think those things in the first place.

I smiled. A sad smile, which made his brows furrow. "I know. It wasn't your fault. You only tried to protect our world, Caiden. I could help and I'm proud of what I've done, even though I had to sacrifice some important things. But... thank you for saving the world. And thank you for... being you. For being around me. For letting me see you. Because... I have feelings for you. And I know you have to go now. And there's nothing I can do about it. Which is okay. So... please, live happily your... eternity."

His expression was impassable for a few seconds and then, suddenly, he covered his face with a hand, making me blink slowly, not sure of what he was doing. "Is something wrong? Are you feeling sick because of the poison? Is it still in your organism?" I asked him with a genuinely worried voice, jumping to my feet and placing a hand on his shoulder.

"No, but I would appreciate it if you go back to your seat."

I frowned, not understanding his request. "Why? If you feel sick, you can go to bed. You can leave tomorrow." Secretly, I was rooting for him to decide that. "C'mon, I can help you go to your room..."

"It's not because of the poison, okay? I'm fine. Sit down." His voice was weird. Full of emotion.

"Oh, c'mon! What happened to your face? Why are you hiding it?"

I grabbed his hand which was covering his face and yanked it towards me.

He's strong, goddamn it! It feels like I'm trying to pull a rock!

I kicked him in his knee, thing which made him flinch, surprised, and I could unglue his hand off his face.

"Now, let me see what the hell is going on with your..."

His weird eyes met mine and I let my mouth fall open. His whole face was red. Red like a tomato. I couldn't believe my eyes. He usually was so pale he could be considered a ghost. But, at that moment... he looked like me when I went to the pool on a really sunny day and the next day I was completely burned by the sun.

"Caiden? Are you... okay?"

"Y-y-yea. I'm fine... g-g-go away..."

He is blushing. For God's sake, he's blushing!

I covered my mouth with my hand and took a few steps back. He turned his head, having an embarrassing expression plastered on his red face.

I can't believe it. I made him blush. Oh my God!

"Are you... really blushing? Like for real? Because of what I said?"

"No. It's just... really hot here. In the Edo period was much colder."

I chuckled. His lie was so bad, that I couldn't help myself but think Oh God, he's so cute!

"Okay, fine. I won't talk about it." I grinned, crossing my arms over my chest.

He sighed and rose from the chair. "You won't talk about it because there is nothing to talk about."

I lowered my eyes and gave him a fake smile. "Is this an official rejection?"

I'd prepared myself for this talk, but it didn't even have to come because he rejected me anyway. I should've known that he could dodge any unwanted conversations, anytime. It was silly of me to think that we could've discussed this like real adults.

"Is this bothering you that much?" He asked me, making me blink slowly and raise my head. He was standing right in front of me and I gulped, intimidated by his height.

"Kind of. I mean, not really. You're leaving anyway, so, overall, I think it's better to not talk about it? I mean, I don't know... whatever. It doesn't matter anymore. When is Jessica coming?"

"She said she will be back in ten minutes. That reminds me... I have to give you something."

I ignored his weird voice and the way his eyes were boring into mine and I extended my hand, palm upwards, waiting for his "something". Slowly, he lowered his head, watching my palm with a serious expression. "Well? What are you waiting for? You said you have to give me something. Give it to me."

He laughed, looking back into my eyes.

"What's so funny? Did you think I was going to say 'Oh, no, it's fine, Caiden. I don't need anything, really'? Wrong."

He sighed and pulled out something small from his kimono. He placed it on my palm and I took a look at it. I widened my eyes and raised my head again. "What is this? Why are you giving me this?"

He shrugged, smiling. "You will need it. Tuition is expensive and you don't have an income. Use it wisely."

I blinked twice, looking again at the credit card he gave me. He was right. My family couldn't support me anymore. I could've borrowed some money from Emily and take a few jobs to pay her back, but I didn't have enough time because of school, and in the summer, I had exams. I sighed. "I will text you the pin."

I nodded. But... he still had something to do for me. He promised. I was staring at him with a weird intensity, hoping he will remember. He raised his eyebrows at me, taken aback by my gaze. "What? Do you want cash as well? You don't know how a credit card works? Do you want me to show you?"

I sighed. "No. Nevermind. Thank you for... your money, I guess. So... if you gave me your money... that means you're not gonna stay on earth?"

He touched his bottom lip with his finger. "Probably. We have more credit cards under other names and we could use them anytime we want, but I was thinking to go back to hell. I need some time for meditation."

"Yea, and the hell, the place where people are tortured, is such a nice place to meditate." I scoffed, rolling my eyes and putting the card in my jeans' pocket.

"Hell isn't just the place where humans are paying for their sins. Hell is also demons' home. My home. And after this adventure... I want to rest. I bet you want to do that as well."

I shrugged. "Unlike you, my life is limited. And the only way to forget what happened is to live my life at its fullest."

But do I want to forget? Do I want to forget him?

No.

"That's quite wise, coming from you, human. Indeed. You should live your life at its fullest. No one knows where are you going to go after that."

"I know. My fate isn't written, right?" I said and he nodded slowly like something was on his mind. I didn't ask him. I knew he wouldn't have answered me anyway.

"It depends on you, Ivy. It's your life and your choices."

"I guess the fact that I helped to save the world is not counting, right?"

A small smile appeared on his full lips. "The action itself doesn't count. But the choices you made, the fact that you almost sacrificed yourself to save me, to save your family, to save your friend, matters. The way you thought about it matters. You could've done all of this only to save yourself, and this isn't an appreciated mentality by heaven."

"Maybe I won't go to heaven." I said and he widened his eyes.

"Do you want to go to hell? What? Do you think that if you know me, then I can get out of the torture zone and bring you to my place? Human, don't be stupid! Hell doesn't work like that! If you go to hell, then this is it for you. You'll be tortured for eternity. Do you want that?"

He was angry. I blinked twice, taking a step back. "I'm sorry. It was a silly joke. I didn't mean to... to say that I'm going to count on you to save me once again. It was just a joke. I... I thought you're gonna laugh about it..."

He sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. His grave voice, his serious expression, his enraged eyes... I felt like a small child scolded by her father. Tears filled my eyes, but I didn't let them come out. This was my last chance to talk with Caiden. I didn't want to remember him being mad at me and then me crying like a spoiled child. I sighed and bit my lip, keeping in the tears.

"Ivy, what's wrong?" He asked me, frowning and I could see the concern within his eyes. I flinched and turned my head so he couldn't see my tears.

"Nothing. Where's Jessica? Haven't the ten minutes passed already?"

Caiden grabbed my chin and forced me to look at him. "I'm sorry I yelled at you. I was..." He sighed. "I was furious because you took so lightly the heaven and hell matters. I really can't do anything there, Ivy. That's why I want you to focus and live a good life. I'm sorry if I upset you. I don't want you to remember me like this."

I cleared my throat and nodded. "It's fine. Really, it's nothing. It was a stupid joke anyway."

He sighed again and did a thing which made me widen my eyes, surprised. He hugged me. He placed gently his hands on my back and squeezed me tightly. I drew a deep breath, not bothered by his dirty and bloody kimono and I wrapped my hands around him, putting my head on his chest and listening to his unregular heartbeats. I could feel my body warming up and I knew that my face was even redder than his was a few minutes ago. I felt comfortable. And sad. And I knew this was my last time touching him. The tears almost came back, but I bit my lip harder and I could feel the disgusting taste of blood on my tongue.

Caiden sighed and took a step back, with his hands still on me. "Jessica will come back any time from now on. So... now I have to make sure that your bad luck won't come back ever again."

He remembered. Of course, he remembered! He can't forget that easily!

I took a deep breath and nodded, as I was too shocked by his sudden hug to say anything else.

He smiled and put his big hand on my face, massaging my hot cheek. I blinked a few times, confused by his sudden gesture of... tenderness. I resisted the impulse of pulling back, as his action was a bit suspicious.

What's in his mind? Why is he doing this?

And then something even more shocking happened.

His face came closer and his lips crashed onto mine, wrapping his hands around me even tighter than before. My heart was hammering in my chest and I was afraid it could explode because of the emotions which were battling inside me.

He's kissing me.

I closed my eyes, letting him kiss me. His lips were so soft and so tasteful...

Why is he doing this? What is happening?

Suddenly, he pulled out and took his hands off me. I blinked slowly and I could feel my head spinning around like I was drunk. I took a few steps back and placed my hands on the countertop.

Something is different. I feel... different.

"What did you do?" I asked him, knowing he surely had something in his mind.

He doesn't do something without a reason.

He shrugged. "I gave you what I promised. Bad luck shield. I put my energy inside you."

I laughed, still feeling dizzy. "That sounds so wrong!"

"It's not my fault if your tiny, human brain thinks at something else. My power will be within you until you die. That means no bad luck until you die. I guess you can say you are now touched by me. That's my farewell gift."

"And this... this dizziness... how much time will it last?"

"Don't worry. It will go away in approximatively five minutes."

"Ugh..."

The dizziness intensified and I almost collapsed on the ground. But, of course, the mighty Caiden grabbed me by my waist, letting me fall on his chest. "Was this really necessary? At least, couldn't you tell me beforehand?"

"Actually, I could've given you my energy in a cup. But where would the fun have been?"

"You're telling me you would've spat in a cup? And I should've drunk it? No thanks. I prefer a kiss."

He cracked up and I could feel his chest vibrating. The sound of his laughter made me sigh, closing my eyes. I wanted to impregnate it in my mind, to keep it there forever. I didn't want to let go of him. Pain clenched my heart as I grabbed his kimono, burying my face in it, trying to not let go of this moment. I didn't want him to go. I wanted him to stay, to never go away.

"Caiden...?"

"Mhm?"

He wrapped his hands around me. I sighed.

Why couldn't we stay like this? Forever? Why does he have to go? Why am I trying to act strong?

Because you know he's not gonna stay anyway. So why not let him remember you brave and strong?

"... live happily, please. Don't let the past hurt you."

"I will. Don't worry, human. I'm a demon after all."

I rolled my eyes.

And you still needed help from a mere human.

"I know what you're thinking and yes, you're right. Sometimes humans can be useful. But don't be cocky."

"We both know who's the cockiest in this room."

"That's gotta be Satoshi, right?"

I and Caiden turned around, looking at Jessica staying in front of the door, with one hand placed on her hip and the other one put nonchalantly on the doorframe.

I pulled out from Caiden's hug and sat down on the chair, panting. The dizziness was killing me. I couldn't see well either.

"What did you do to her, big boy? Nasty things? I knew it!"

I blushed again. Secretly, I knew that Jessica was, low-key, shipping us as a couple. Especially in the Edo period, she seemed pretty sure something was going on between us.

But I'm still embarrassed when she says it all aloud. Especially because Caiden knows what she's talking about since I confessed to him. Can't we all just forget about that? There's no point in it anyway.

"So you came." Caiden said, with a strangely disappointed voice.

"Do you want me to leave? I can leave right away." She replied, turning her back at us and waving with her hand.

"Wait, don't leave."

They turned their heads towards me and I sighed sharply. "I want... I want to say 'Goodbye'."

They went silent for a few seconds.

The time has come. It's time for me to let go. For real.

I felt my eyes tearing up.

Don't cry, Ivy! Be strong!

I got to my feet and took a few steps back so I could see them both. Jessica entered the kitchen, coming closer to me. Caiden came closer as well, looking straight into my eyes. The intensity of his gaze made me lower my head, flustered by his full attention. I took a deep breath. The words flew away from my head. I didn't know what to say anymore. I just... felt sad. It was like I was a real zombie, a lifeless girl who couldn't speak up her mind. I cleared my throat.

"So... um... Goodbye, I guess. I'm gonna miss you."

I looked up at them and they were smiling at me, with sad expressions on their faces. Even though they were demons, even though they weren't interested in me at first, they became my friends, and I was pretty sure they thought the same.

"Bye, Ivy Moore. I'm gonna miss you too." Jessica said and took a few steps towards me. She gave me a tight hug and patted me on my back. She pulled back and smiled, exposing her white and perfect teeth. "It was quite fun, just you and I in the Edo period. We should do it again."

I gasped and she winked at me, leaving the kitchen quietly. I frowned, not sure of her action.

She probably wants you to say 'Goodbye' to Caiden alone.

I turned to Caiden, who crossed his arms over his chest, still looking at me. I took another deep breath and I pursued my lips. "Well. I guess this is a real 'Goodbye'. Be safe."

I should totally be more original than this.

"I left this apartment on your name. You can use it until you decide where you want to go. I suppose you won't fancy the thought of living here, next to your family when they don't even remember you."

I didn't really like this city at first. But there were more advantages to living here. It was, indeed, a place where nobody knew about my past. Nobody thought I was a scary weirdo with frightening powers. Here I met Emily. Here, I could be myself -still restricted because of my bad luck, but it was much better than before.

And here I met them. Caiden and Jessica. I learned more about the world I was living in and found out dark secrets, which maybe weren't really good to find out, but, overall, I was happy the time I stayed there. There were bad times, yes. But there were good times as well.

But everything was in the past now, and I had to let go.

"Yea. I'll probably move out of town after I finish high school. I think it's the best decision."

"Indeed it is." He replied, smiling at me and taking a step forward. "Well, then... Farewell, Ivy."

I nodded at him and forced a smile.

"Why are you looking at me like that? Are you expecting another hug?" He asked me, raising an eyebrow and I blinked slowly, taken aback by his sudden comment.

I placed my hands in front of me, shaking them. "No! Not at all. I was just... looking at you. To remember you as you are now. Yea, well, I'll go to sleep now, so you can leave..."

He grabbed my hands and pulled me in another hug, which made my whole body warm up again.

He has to stop, otherwise... I'll get used to it.

"I'll help you sleep." He whispered in my ear, making me shiver involuntarily. "Farewell, Ivy. Live happily."

"Hey, that's my..." I said, pulling back from his embrace so I could look up at his face, but I didn't have time to do that.

He placed his fingers on my forehead and everything went black in just one second.