31 # 31: Failed Kidnapping.
# 31: Failed Kidnapping.
_____
Strangely I woke up in my own bed. I could have sworn I jumped into the river to run away from the cops.
Groaning, I got up and noticed that I am actually in the guest room not in my own.
Well, Asia probably threw me here. I do stink after all. Sighing I went to take a bathroom to get cleaned up.
Getting downstairs I greeted Asia with a kiss in return she showed me the news article with my photo...
Oh dear, I need to call Azazel. I bet he does stuff like that regularly he probably knows how we can clean this.
_____
Surprisingly the clean-up of the event wasn't troublesome, it took a chunk out of my savings but the whole thing was wrapped up nicely.
One can't really delete something from people's memories carelessly since it will leave it blank.
So the cleanup team changed the facts and some of the evidence and putting the temple where it belonged solved everything.
Our epic heist turned into a poor attempt to steal from Kinkakuji made by some drunk people cosplaying.
We had to make it like that because Loki's hair made a great impression on people thus it was near impossible to change it.
Loki keeps refusing to change his hairstyle even if it's a few centuries old.
______
"What do you mean by 'you have to attend.' I don't want to go to that reception. I might just slaughter some old devils." I complain to Azazel, I really don't like any other devils than the ones I know. (Minus Vali and some minor nobodies.)
"Look man, you're the only one that can hold a conversation with Loki. You're weird, he's weird, you get along.
It would be really awkward if he just sat there and played games on his phone." I can't really argue with that.
Loki was probably going to be an antagonist like Kokabiel considering his obsession with Ragnarok but I changed it and now he doesn't fit anywhere.
"Arghh fine! Don't blame me if I dismember someone though." I met with one of those Devil Elders before they're like cliché sect elders from cultivation novels.
"Well, it's Sirzechs's problem, not mine, go crazy I don't care." Azazel shuts down the communication with that.
"So you're coming as well. Then which one should I wear for the party?" Asia comes with two different dresses. One blue other emerald colors.
"It seems so yes, the one on the right looks better." I choose the emerald-colored one, I think that suits her better.
"Thanks for choosing dear."
______
The first thing we saw after teleporting to the underworld was Azazel's depressed face and a depressed Baraqiel who's sporting panda eyes.
What happened to those two?
On the side, I can see Four Satans talking with Odin who's openly ogling Serafall.
Michael is there as well trying to maintain a serene smile in the face of Odin's lust.
Also, Rossweisse is crying on the ground with Loki consoling her. I ship it, I can already see them getting married.
"There's not a dull day with them is there?" Asia asks while staring blankly at the top powers of the factions being all weird.
"No there's not." Noticing our arrival they all came to greet us. Although Sirzechs was glaring at me.
He still hasn't got over Rias's change in character. Let's hope he won't turn into yandere siscon.
Feeling a chill behind me I turn to see Asia glaring at a devil downstairs. Ah, it's Diodora.
"Don't worry about me, go give him hell... Well, heaven."
"You're the best." There she goes, let's hope she doesn't kill him yet, that would be too easy.
"Jacob, will Asia going to be alright?" Serafall asks looking at Asia getting downstairs.
"Well, she has enough self-control to not kill him, I hope... Hey there Loki how's your headache?" I promptly changed the subject.
In the following hours, Azazel disclosed Vali's betrayal and how he left Grigori.
One would think he wouldn't do it after seeing how much Issei is progressing but then again he's dumb as Sasuke was.
Looking over to Baraqiel I see him following Akeno with his panda eyes. I guess he tried talking to her before the venue.
In my opinion, the night was going pretty good if one ignores the whole fiasco with old farts mocking Sona for her dreams.
Maybe I should train Sona's team as well? They could, in return train commoners and eventually start a rebellion to throw down aristocracy...
Nah, can't see it happening in the Devil society.
_____
Asia was having fun torturing Diodora with 'Stealth 100' techniques, he doesn't even know who's messing with him.
But that all changed after Koneko, Rias and Issei left the venue which was followed by a giant explosion.
Of course, there's trouble...
By the time I went outside the building half of the forest was destroyed, and kids were already coming back with a monkey tail?
"Don't tell me you guys got frightened by a monkey and exploded the forest?"
"Why would we use that kind of power for a monkey?" Rias argues.
"Hey! I destroyed an entire town because of one spider, shit happens."
"No sensei, it was just Koneko-chan's sister trying to kidnap her and failing miserably." Issei explained.
"That doesn't explain the tail."
"Successor of Sun Wukong was with her, Koneko didn't spare him as she did with her sister." Ouch Sun is going to flip some tables when he hears this.
"Didn't she know she's cleared of her charges?"
"She didn't believe it apparently also she's with Khaos Brigade alongside Vali, so she would have done this anyway. She just didn't expect to get overpowered."
"Then how did they escape?" I look at depressed Koneko holding Issei's hand.
"Some glasses bastard came and took them, he had a holy sword, Caliburn, he actually had two holy swords." Issei clenches his fist with anger. I guess he wanted to knock out Kuroka and subdue her.
"Well, you win some and you lose some. Just make sure it doesn't happen again."
"Yes!" I nodded at their enthusiasm.
"By the way where is Tannin?" I did sense him after all.
"Ah he went back to get reinforcements but you came before that sensei." Rias finished Issei's explanation.
"I see, well follow me. This will get the venue canceled but better safe than sorry." We made it back to the venue where we found a small-sized Tannin giving his report.
Seeing us coming they pulled the trio and started questioning them while I made my way to Asia who was doodling on a drugged and sleeping Diodora.
" 'God Rules' 'I Love Jesus' Sigh, Asia people generally doodle bad things to people's faces, not religious slogans." I mean I guess it would be funny if she drew a Cross as well.
"But wouldn't it hurt him every time he reads these, after all this is enchanted permanent ink." Asia, sometimes you even scare me.
"Any suggestions dear?" She asks.
"Let's draw a cross between his eyebrows." Her eyes are shining.
"I will also shave his eyebrows so we can draw a big one!" Yep, she's terrifying and I love her.
We made it back to Satans, only for them to announce the meeting for the treaty has been delayed due to current events.
