1 A Bored God
A Bored God and the Beginning of Something
I, the conqueror of all worlds.
I, the banisher of all evil.
I, the almighty God of all creation.
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I, am f*cking bored!!!
Like wtf, if I knew that being omnipotent, omniscient and omnipresence is this boring, I shouldn't have strived for this power.
Like sure for a couple of millennia it was fun being this almighty and awesome but after a while it loses its charm, and for the worst part of it is I'm a true immortal, so even if I want to kill myself it's not possible.
I have also finish my conquest of all the world's that the universe has to offer, I banished all evil on all creation, and also achieved utopia on every planet and the different sentient beings living in it.
I had also visited my counterparts on the different realities available the is, only to find out they are bored too.
I also had traveled the Multiverse to entertain myself with some anime boobi***cough... Cough... battles, but after doing it for a literal million times, it got boring too.
I can still remember the day my journey to greatness started, I am so excited and pissed of that day...
Flashback
"I can't wait to see the new episode of Boku no Pico that's airing later" said a man walking from work.
This man right here is the god that is ranting earlier, just before the fortunate/unfortunate incident that happened to change his life.
He's just walking, minding his own business while playing snake on his trusty Nokia 3210 when all of a sudden a wild Truck-kun appeared and attempt to ram it's rebump(reincarnating-bumper) to our unlucky/lucky guy.
"Omaewa mo Shinderou!!!" said Truck-kun while teleporting behind our guy.
"Nani!!!" exclaimed the guy due to the suddenness of the events.
*BAAMM!! *
~•~
POV change to our guy
"Agh...what happened?! I heard someone behind my back, then next I knew is darkness" said our guy.
After recollecting myself and taking stock of my situation, I began looking around and finding my situation odd. Odd in a sense that, why is everything fluffy, and white and sh*t, like am I even on Earth?
After walking around I found a line queue of people that I can't even so the end of it, then I started to felt odd and my body began moving on its own towards the line.
At first I resisted with all my might and will my self to turn around, but I can't seem to even move finger even a little, at that point I began to panic and attempted to shout for help but there's no sound that escaped my lips even a little.
Then when I arrived at the line I regained control on my upper body, but my legs kept walking forward towards the end of the line, if ever there is.
At first I tried talking to the person in front of me,
"Hey dude! Can you hear me? , do you know what's happening!? Why are we here?! Just to suffer?! " I bombarded the guy in front of me lots of questions, at some point I even asked him if he already subscribed to Pewdiepie, that if he's not that he should sub to him and hit that notification bell, but even after all the commotion he didn't even looked at me or even twitched a little.
After like hours or days or weeks or months or years, I don't know how much time passed but I still can't see the end of line, then that's when a felt somebody arrived at my back.
Then I looked at my back only to see a guy that looked like staring at the distance. Then when I observed him a little I kind of got scared and terrified because I can see that he doesn't look alive.
Even if it's kinda scary I still asked him if he's ok and the many questions I asked the guys in front of me but to no avail I cant even get a reaction or even a twitch of an eye, eventually I got board and looked at my front and resigned myself to waiting.
And so I wait and wait and wait, time passed that I already recited the 5billionth place in the π,and that's when I saw it at the horizon, a palace of some sort that I got excited that I can see something else other that fluffy clouds and whiteness.
And when I'm a little closer I can see that on the end of the line I can see a Giant with two point horns like that of an Oni in Japanese culture.
It looks like its deciding the fate of those that's in the line.
A little while later it's my turn, it spoke to me with authoritative and commanding aura.
"Hmm... Interesting, tell me soul what is your name? " said the Oni.
"aaahhmm, can you please at least tell me what is happening?! Why am I here and why are you calling me a soul, you hitting somethin and can I get some of that weed? Who are you?! What's the purpose of humanity in the Grand scheme of the Universe when we are like a dust to giant stars and black holes?! " I asked in a histerical manner, can't say I can maintain my sanity in that long period of time of just walking and being left to my thoughts.
"Calm down child, hmm.... Let's see, I'll answer your questions in order, what's about to happen right now is I'll decide what's going to your soul, if you'll go to what you humans call heaven, hell and in special cases reincarnate with memories intact.. And you are here because you are already dead. And you can call me King Yama, I organize the souls coming from the living realm here in the underworld. Im just gonna ignore that stupid question, and unto the last question, good question btw, and truth be told no-one knows the answer, maybe Zeno will, but to be honest does it really matter, it's been since the beginning of time that species of different kind has been asking that, because why care as long as you enjoy your existence that's enough...
Nah just kidding, humanity is like a disease contacted by your so called Planet Earth, give it time and the earth will heal and humanity will perish like a dust on its huge ball of dirt, and after some millennia Earth will continue it's revolution around the sun and the traces of humanity will be erased by the passage of time...So are you satisfied with my answer young padawan?" answered the supposed King Yams.
"Uhm...wow, I mean f*ck, and I'm dead? And we're a disease? Talk about big revelation of the century..." I muttered while feeling depressed. Like dafuq heaven or hell? Reincarnation? Those are real? I'm feeling kinda, just kinda, overwhelmed right now.
"Ahm, I'm Notlair btw" I introduced myself as an after thought while still feeling surprised. I'm eft to my thoughts when King Yams spoke again.
"Hmm, Notlair, now that the circumstances are clear, I gotta say, your soul is kind of special. " said King Yama.
"Wha-what do you mean special? " I said.
"Hmm, let's check my logbook" said King Yama.
After a couple minutes of looking the giant Oni facepalm so hard that it created a sonic boom.
*BOOM*
I was startled with it and let out a manly surprised scream. I asked King Yama what's the problem and he answered:
"I'm sorry young one it seems that you got hit by Truck-kun... " said the exasperated King Yama.
"What? What do you mean Truck-kun? " I asked in a disbelieving manner.
"Truck-kun is the familiar of the God of Reincarnation that seeks carnage in the mortal world by hitting unfortunate/fortunate people with its rebump(reincarnating-bumper) and baths with the blood of its victims and give their unfortunate/fortunate soul a chance to meet the God of Reincarnation for a chance of second life" explained King Yama.
"Uh, huh? I mean ok, so what now? " I asked the giant, I feel that I should just go with the flow to preserve my sanity.
"I will send you now to him" with that said king Yama waved his hands and the scenery changed and I'm now facing the so called God of Reincarnation. To be honest I kind of feel overwhelmed with its majestic aura that he's excluding. Then the god spoke.
"Yay another playthin...*cough**cough*...i mean hello young soul, I see that you have been given a once in a lifetime chance in reincarnating and pursuing greatness in another world." said the man in a white robe thats covering his face.
"Uh so what am I gonna do now? " I asked him while ignoring the slip up of the plaything comment.
"I will give you a chance to reincarnate in the different fantasy worlds under my domain. I would also gift you a cheat/ability to your liking. " answered the being.
Wow, he's gonna give me a cheat ability, this will make my life easier on the other side when I reincarnated. I should decide careful with this
"So where can I reincarnate? Is there a place where I can become a cultivator and break my limits? " I asked him.
"Hmm, let me check.....There is, this planet is called God's Nursery, this place is where souls that wants to become more than a dust in the Grand Scheme test their self and get a chance to transcend to Godhood, hence the name God's Nursery.
This place is where gods wannabee start their journey, so do you want to try your abilities there? " answered god.
" Yes I want to reincarnate there, but first I have a question, how will you give me a cheat ability? Is it with the use of your power, is there a limitation? " I inquired.
"Very well, so it's decided I'll anchor your soul in its underworld and when the time is right you'll reincarnate in the first baby born in its living realm. In regards to the gift giving method, there's a devise created by Zeno that will give you anything, and the limitation is just your imagination" answered the god.
Hmm, that's the second time I heard the name Zeno, I think I heard that name before, it's in the tip of my tongue. Oh well, never mind, if I can't remember it, it must not be that important.
So what should I wish? I can wish for impotence, but I highly doubt wishing it is worth it and it's also a vague wish. I can wish to be immortal but it'll be redundant because if I transcend I'll be immortal too, but it's tempting, but I can also wish for all the knowledge in the universe but is that even a cheat ability, maybe it's passable... But then again, even with all the knowledge I can't use it all effectively with my puny mind. Hmm let's see, I would need a cheat that'll let me enjoy every possible benefit of it in the early, mid, and late game of my life... Let's see.... Ah ha I have decided!!
"I want the instant mastery cheat!!!" I said with all my excitement.
"Very well, you have chosen great. Now place your hand in this relic and chant your wish in your head what you want" god said, I and did it and complied...
And then it light brightly and filing the domain of the God of Reincarnation in light
And just as it appeared it disappeared.
"Now that is done, it's time to start your adventure in another world, and due to your chest, I believe your life would be smooth sailing from now. Farewell Notlair and have fun." said god.
Flashback end
And past forward 69 trillion years later, here we are, listening to the ranting of the bored god.
What you think I'm gonna elaborate on the adventure of this individual named Notlair, to bad because I'm not. With that unfair cheat, I steamroll my ascendance...
~•~
"Hmm what should I do to elevate this boredom... Wait, I can do the God of Reincarnation shtick,I can send interesting individuals to adventures in the Multiverse, since there's infinite number of it I can fulfill every wish and whim of them and they can serve as an entertainment for me while I wait for something interesting to happen to my domain." I said to myself while patting my own back, I mean like goddamn, Im a genius.
"Now all I need is to wait for a test subje... *cough**cough* worthy individual to catch my attention.." I mused to myself, but to enjoy the hunt and the watching experience I'll turn off my omniscience and omnipresence temporarily to enjoy the experience spoiler free...
And the wait begin....
~•~
Author's note
So yeah, after reading countless self-insert fanfictions I decided to try one my self but I'll pose as a god that wanna entertain himself.
This is also a self fulfilment self-insert and the MC OC in the different stories will act like what I want in certain series like animes and movies.
Also English is my 5th language so constructive criticisms are welcome.
Also be warned in my fanfic the goal is to become OP fast and efficiently while acquiring harem/loveinterest/riches/greatness along the way so help me dear readers what you think is good at certain situations when I have a writers block.
