11 Year 2014

This year is my 9th grade. Whatever happened to me back then, is magical. Even just within those 10 months, I felt that it will be the best thing that had happen to me. Yes, there were also some things that I regret till today, I still believe that those moments are the best and worth keeping.

I know. deep inside me I still hold on to my feelings for him. It is buried deep inside my heart, but that doesn't keep me from having fun and experience different kinds of things. Yeah, I admit, I caught some feeling among my friends. I don't know, them being and sometimes acting like an anime characters makes me fall for them.

This year, my longest dream to become the class president come true. Can you blame me, I think that I was born to become a leader. But it is never my dream to run a country or so, just want to become a leader in some ways, and I love doing it, it makes me happy. Although sometimes I wanted other people to acknowledge my efforts. I needed the encouragement from them to keep me going.

I don't know how, but I sometimes develop anxiety after what happened to me. I don't know if it was supposed to call it that way. I experience a countless of sleepless nights. Crying myself to sleep I also experience mood changes, that sometimes I became sad in a snap. My friends sometimes caught me looking at nothing like my mind is wandering somewhere. I don't know when did it start. But when I notice the changes in my behavior. I kept myself busy, I reduce my time for study and put some time on the things that I actually love. I joined the COLC club, it is the second-highest organization in school and a religious club. We handle the activities regarding or in-lined with religious things, like the month of the holy rosary, the school visit of every catholic school, helping out to the church, and many more that I can't even mention. I kept devoted to my club and also a good way to use my time rather than spacing out and making myself think of something not appropriate. I also do the duties of a class president, its hard doing things at the same time but it helps me in the process. At night, with my minimize time schedule for studying, I used all my remaining time in drawing and designing, I also started a scrapbook where all my poems and feeling where written. It helps me organize things and reflect to make a good change the next day. Although sometimes when going to sleep, my mind is still thinking things that actually made me sad. And I still have some rough nights.

I thought that this will be my life for the whole school year, but I was wrong. Alex help me find some brightness this year. He made me feel that I can still like someone.

It was break time, and just as expected, the canteen is crowded, thing I brought my snack with e today. The worst thing that I don't like to happen to me during the break is to go to that crowded place, they're like fighting for survival. I open my knick-knack snack and my juice, but even before I could get my first food, my friends starting to gather unto me.

"Can I have some?" and yep one by one, my friends ask for some, and to the fact that I have so many friends. I just laugh at the idea that there's is nothing left for me. Yeah, they literally finish it all. My mind is crying like hell, my snack. I just looked at my juice and my head is saying, at least I have you.

"Here, you can have this" I looked at Alex, he also got some from my snack, it was a piece of knick-knack. He offered it to me with his looking a little embarrassed.

"Huh?" that is all I can say. But what he just said made my heart beat faster.

"I noticed that you got nothing left, here take it" He made me so happy that day. What he did made me realize that at least, just one person notices me. Ever since or maybe for as long as I can remember, I think about others more than myself. Especially to my friends. Id make sure that they will be happy about it. I don't know they were just so special to me, that I wouldn't want to trade them with anything.

I smile back at Alex. That day, he became a very special person in my life

"We can share it" He smiled at me, and he did break the snack in half. And we both have our share. It was just so little but it could fill my hunger. After that I went back to my seat, thinking about it the whole day. I smile at myself thinking, at least I have something to look forward to every day.