1 Chasing Perfection

"I do not wish to, and neither can I cultivate, father. I'm sorry I couldn't fulfill your dream. " He emptily sighed as he turned to his feet. "You can banish me from the clan; all I wish for, is to leave with a canvas. "

Thunder began to crackle outside the manor as Shi Yuanfe, a youth dressed in clean white robes, stared at his father.

The entire room was colored white, and filled with colorful paintings and vibrant papers clipped to the wall. Unfortunately, the tense atmosphere had diluted the magnificent view of the room.

His father, Shi Huang, fell on the bed with a nervous face.

He croaked out a question, "My child, is your…? " but alas, he couldn't finish. His tongue had gotten stuck in his mouth.

Shi Yuanfe shook his head at the question. "Not a single one. I don't have even a single essence vessel in my body. I wouldn't be able to cultivate even if I was born with a godly fate wheel. " After a small pause, he continued, "It's hopeless, father "

"No, no no, child. This isn't about your cultivation! I know, you don't hold even a bit of interest towards cultivation! But what about you? You know that—"

The thin, white lips on Shi Yuanfe's face slightly twitched. The thunder outside died down at that very moment, and was replaced by heavy rain.

"I don't desire female companionship. Furthermore, in the end, I'm not worthy of her. So, don't worry, I won't mess with her marriage. "

Shi Yuanfe had been born as a talentless, and worthless man. In the end, even though he had loved someone with his whole heart, he couldn't keep her. That, is the very essence of being worthless.

What a joke!

He very well knew what type of person he was. In this strange world hell-bent on earning strength, he was fully-immersed in the lesser arts of literature. Thus, he didn't have doubts that his fiancée would prefer even a commoner over him, the Prince of the Shi Dynasty.

"Father, rest well. Tomorrow is her wedding, " he slightly coughed, before continuing, "with my brother. Think of it as me marrying her — don't be sad. "

Shi Huang felt his eyes redden, but he nodded in return. "I won't be. Sleep well, child. "

Shi Yuanfe smiled and promptly left the white room. While walking through the halls, he felt strangely free as if he had been freed from a harsh burden. Regardless, he still felt regret over being born as trash to such a well-meaning father.

The entire world had forsaken him; his mother, brother, love and subjects, but his father still remained behind him. It was kind of mesmerizing at times.

…

…

…

Thousands of red birds had been released from their cages, as they flew in the sky like dragons and broke the silence presiding over the air.

From a cliff overlooking the Shi Palace, Shi Yuanfe smirked and observed the birds. Occasionally, he would throw some feed and watch the birds descend down on the cliff.

Right by his feet, was a box filled with colors, a canvas and a bag of brushes made from fox fur. The canvas in front of him had been filled with artistic depictions of the red birds; vibrant, well-drawn birds. The scenery of the canvas sharply matched the vision in front of him, a cliff overlooking the morning sky filled to the brim with birds, but unfortunately, the image had been drawn in such a way that it lacked life.

"As expected, I can't even draw. " Shi Yuanfe shook his head, and brutally tore apart the canvas.

Every single time, his paintings would turn out like this. When he was a child, it was the inability to convey emotions, and as a youth, it was the disability of not being able to create life. The more he grows, the more things he learns and the more misery he discovers. His pictures was beautiful, but imperfect — and to an extent, they were his mistakes. Products of his inability.

Shi Yuanfe scooped up another paper from his bag, and began drawing once again. With experienced strokes and light brushes, he finished drawing another image of the red birds soaring in the sky, yet it felt even more disturbed, and lifeless than before.

Shi Yuanfe was a flawed person, or so he believed. The images he would draw would all appear as if they were lacking 'something' to him. His teachers, peers; none of them could notice such a flaw and would instead rebuke him for being pretentious. Even the maids had grown tired of sweeping torn, colorful papers from his room. But no, they couldn't see it like him.

"Prince, it…it is already dawn. I'm afraid Princess Shan Yuan's marriage is already over… "

As if having a stroke, the flying brushes in Shi Yuanfe's hands erratically bounced off the canvas when he heard the voice. Yet, his face still held the same emotionless expression.

He looked behind, and saw his ever-familiar subject, Elder Wang, dressed in a red gown. A sense of bitterness swirled around in Wang's brown eyes, as he bitterly smiled.

"So? I've already told you, I don't want to see her, or her sham of a marriage. " Shen Yuan shook his head and returned to stare at his canvas.

"Nothing, prince… It's just that I thought, you would do something. Wreck their marriage even, " Wang walked forward with a broom in his hands, and sweeped the papers off of the cliff.

"Let me teach you a fact, Elder Wang. Something that can be stolen isn't worth having. Worthless things shouldn't be left on one's shoulder to accumulate dust — they should be thrown away, so they don't turn into a receptacle for filth . "

"Such a rigorous mindset…and indifferent, worldly view. It's better suited for literature, not for judging this world and its behavior. Young master, you are renowned across the empire for your skills, technique and talent in writing, art and music. It might be useful for noble women, but not for men. "

The empire, much less the world, had been created cruel and unfair. Uncle Wang was right; if Shi Yuanfe was a lady, he could've trained in the arts as he much as he wanted, as he end up as nothing but a flower vase for a noble anyway. But he was the prince of a powerful dynasty.

Cultivation reigned over the realm. Who had the more powerful fist decided the fate of the others. Such inhumanity in fact, was disgusting in Shi Yuanfe's eyes, but he couldn't escape from it.

"You are not a flower vase, young master. I'm sorry, but your intellect is a waste for literature. I request you to join the administration and take over the matters of a nearby city, at least you'll fare better in state politics. "

The brutal words of the bearded elder awoken a dark memory in Shi Yuanfe's mind, but he didn't react. He instead focused on his canvas, and began drawing dark blocks of clouds over the sky. Just like his mood, his way of drawing the world had changed as well.

"So what if it's useless, Uncle Wang? Are you going to take away my tools again? In my entire life, I have wanted nothing else but to excel in the one thing I can do better than other people — draw. "

The sun rose, and as always Elder Wang sighed and came up to the canvas, and meticulously replaced the paper. His eyes were blank, but torn with worry.

"Uncle Wang, I'm sorry, but can you leave me alone for a while? "

Elder Wang steadily nodded, and in a blink, flew away from the cliff to the nearby palace.

Immediately, Shi Yuanfe's tense legs gave up and he fell on the grassy ground. His face turned blank, and distorted, but a calm smile was still engraved on his face.

It was necessary to fall in love… if only to provide an alibi for all the random despair you're going to feel anyway.

Shi Yuanfe knew, that from the very moment his beloved was married with his brother, his tale had ended. It wasn't that she loved him very deeply either, she barely knew him — he was the one in love with her. Therefore, his brother wouldn't allow him to be in the same city as his wife and would banish him to the other states.

Elder Wang had urged him to join the administration, as he very well knew, that Shi Yuanfe's life had been in danger from the moment the marriage was over. If his brother tries to assassinate him, his father would be able to do nothing.

"I don't desire power, I desire nothing. I want to be freed from this world, so I don't have to suffer anymore. " He had weakly muttered, as he stood up and bit his lips.

A dark emotion had begun to cloud his mind, as he gnashed his teeth and took up his brush.

The soft brush in his hands shuddered, as he exerted a massive amount of strength on its shaft. He pulled up an assortment of common colors, and began drawing.

First it was a mere outline; a few lines and insignificant blocks. Soon, colors began to emerge on the frame as a detailed, and soulful image of a woman came to life on it.

In his eyes, the image had been created in such a way, and with such emotion, that it was lacking in nothing. It was perfect.

The pain in the boy's heart lessened as he stared at the frame, and smirked. Imperfection, after imperfection, he had gotten used to it. The only image he could draw, without finding an immediate flaw in its body, was of his fiancée.

A soft smile bloomed on the woman's glossy lips, as her ethereal face stared at Shi Yuanfe. For a moment, he felt as if the woman herself had appeared in front of his eyes.

Shan Yuan. The graceful heiress of the Shan Dynasty, a lesser-ranked empire located to the south of the continent. In comparison to the status of the Shi Dynasty, a high-ranked empire centered around the Golden Sea, her clan was a mere chicken. Yet, luck seemed to favor her as within a decade, she had managed to woo both of the Shi Princes.

Of course, 'favor' was a rather strong word as she had disliked Shi Yuanfe from the very moment she heard about him. In the end, his father had fixed her marriage with him, but she boldly announced right in front of him that she had Shi Yuanfe's brother's child in her womb.

"I can't really blame you. After all, who doesn't like power? In one way or another, everything in this world is connected with one's might. If I was born with talent, maybe I would've been able to steal you for myself.

Princess Shan Yuan, goodbye. "

Shi Yuanfe with a broken expression, swabbed a blue color from his bag and drew a cloud of fire above Shan Yuan's smiling figure. Childish as it might be, he was successful as she burned away from his mind.

With a single kick to its legs, the canvas fell from the cliff and crashed into a stone cavern.

"You are perfect; therefore an ugly monstrosity. "

…